It is time for the tree. We remind you 😉

NEVER "Take out" rain from pets
This is most likely to kill an animal.

All you can do is cut.

Or to the veterinarian.

Only in Russia, opening a crane with hot water, you can expect to go:
c) The cold
b) the brown

On the New Year’s Eve, you will again have to watch the boring lights in the starry stars, singing the songs that have stunned everyone and the brightly shining toilet whitening of teeth... and at this time in the parallel universe in the new year’s lights, Metallica, Ozzy, Cannibal Corps, Marilyn Manson, Sleepnot and who with them exactly the same will sit with happy apples, drink butaphore champagne, kick each other in the mouths of serpentine and candy and sing their songs... send me there, Santa Claus, huh?

Announcement of sale of Infiniti FX35, 2007
"Moscha and idéal state equipment premium without running north the most complete equipment is all native pts 2 hosts robots perfectly on the box of appeals no walking ideal salon not scratched not scratched leather excellent dividi manator on the ceiling machine clean Japanese"
P.S How do people make money on such cars?

Service statement from our customer: product mouse defender flagship, malfunction - does not work the microphone, does not photograph

by Newt@:
The Magician in the Blue Helicopter is coming.

and Gorrent:
thank you!

by Alexei:
And nobody was purely logically confused by the fact that the guy sings a song in the city, and a helicopter is supposed to arrive. And the fact that he is not allowed to sit on the busy street doesn’t bother anyone?

AXPEHOJIOr
And you, dear, "really logical" in a situation where a talking crocodile sings a song in the middle of the city, accompanying himself to the muse. The instrument, and consisting of an unknown relationship with an unknown ear hernia, is confused only by the fact that the helicopter (which, by the way, the wizard with film equipment is lucky) will not be allowed to land?

by Alexei:
It is irrational as

I went with my dad to choose a new car in the salons. We enter the pejo salon, Papa (P) approaches the consultant (K) and asks:
Q: Good morning, please tell me, do you have crash tests here?
K rounded his eyes and said: No, they do not spend, only in production... and why do you?
And here, my dad says: I want to participate.
see confused with the test drive :) you would see the eye of the consultant)))

Do not worry! Even if the 21st is the end of the world, the 22nd is Energy Day.
We will come and connect them all back!

The director asked to record music for the corporation, from my musical preferences, I think I was fired.

Program for December 21st:

NTV – The End of the World
The STS - 2012,
RENTV - The Apocalypse
................
Russia - Celebration concert for the Day of the Russian security officer

As long as feminists do not demand, along with equal rights, compulsory army recruitment, I will not believe them.

Ruslan broke four windows with a stick.
Alexei broke the cushion.
Victor gained a kilo fucking again.
A pyramid in the hallway.
Michael organically bled into the bushes.
Innocent was hysterical.
And you? What is "The List of Magnitsky"
Has America been adequately punished?

Leonid Kaganov

Samsung announced a new advertisement. Where Santa's Elephants Talk About Purchasing in Connected Smartphones in Discount!
Do they really believe that deer buy smartphones? Or do they consider those who buy a smartphone in a discount to the elephants?

The bedroom area, I go from the subway.
I am passing by two men, purely ordinary inhabitants of the sleeping area, with pimples under my feet and a drunkard in my voice.
discussing a subject. The following phrase filled me with joy and pride for my native St. Petersburg, the cultural capital, for the rest of the evening:
“I am, he is, forgive me for the expression, "foolish"!

XX: Plácido Domingo and José Correras sing in the Moscow Temple of Christ the Savior.
XX: Interestingly, will they then be given conditionally, in connection with world fame?

Geneticists will create a New Year's tree that shines in the dark
British geneticists are about to transplant the genes of fluorescent meduses and lightheads to the tree. This will allow the tail to emit green light.

XXX: And after the New Year, will she go to the washing itself, or will she have to carry, beating away from her burning chopsticks?

A friend argued with his wife and went overnight to his shop. At 4 p.m. the phone rings:
Do you need a guard?
No need, there is no alarm.
At the end of the silence, he says:
Are you doing the hernia there?

ADDskey: We have a new gene. The director and began to teach everyone how to work, although gently speaking, he has little idea of what he is talking about. But a direct fighter for justice, so that everything is according to the law. Well, our labor protection and issued him a referral to the medical commission (especially to the narcologist and psychiatrist), it is said to be placed in such a position once a year, and you just came and the hell knows who you are and what you have ^_^

Even monsters sleep. Whatever happens at night, close your eyes.

<Fj_> Viktor Olegovich Pelevin should probably stop writing novels that ridicule the Russian reality: the reality does not plunge him.