bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №69886
 11.09.2012
XXX: Gentleman, something happened to the server, the websites do not fade
YYY: Yes, I cut it off this morning, I’ll turn it on now.
XXX is naughty?
YYY: Yes, Katya was afraid to sleep, and as he cut off, customers woke up

[ + 41 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №69885
 11.09.2012
A: AITI is generally the largest criminal sphere in Russia and Ukraine. We have something to be proud of.
B: Yesterday on the arrow of the bad guys went down - they threw the pretext began to throw mol java cooler si sharp. At first we wanted to turn the basar into peaceful rails, but when they began to be called lameras... this in nature is only washed with blood.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №69884
 11.09.2012
I go out of the store tonight in the dark, I see that a truck is parked near the house all shaded, and the headlights are burning. I look at him with an imminent gaze and notice myself so insidiously: "Wow, tomorrow someone will not get out of the morning." And then from the driver's window comes a loud voice like this: "Don't sit down, I will go". Then think about "reading thoughts"... 0_o

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №69883
 11.09.2012
To get to, for example, the seventh floor in the press center, it was necessary to go a difficult route: to climb to the third on foot, then - to the fifth on two escalators, to find a working elevator, long looking at the buttons, trying to figure out which one to press: the one with the number 7 and the sticker 11, or the one with the sticker 7 and the number 3 - and, of course, not to guess from the first time.

Those who tried to climb and get from the first to fifth floors on foot were awaited by disappointment: on the randomly selected floors, the staircase cells were closed.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №69882
 11.09.2012
Describe the girl of your dreams in three words.
A smart and beautiful cook.

[ + 36 - ] [10 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №69881
 11.09.2012
Olympics in London (4th place in total)
At the Vasilyevsky descent all 130 Russian prize winners of the Olympic Games received a gift of Audi cars – 48 Audi A8 for the gold won, 35 Audi A7 Sportback for silver and 47 – Audi A6 for bronze.

Paralympic Games in London (second place in total)
The ceremony took place in the Alexander Hall of the Great Kremlin Palace, where the Olympic gold prize winners were honored in August.
Five athletes were awarded the Order of Honor and 37 athletes were awarded the Order of Friendship. Recall that the Russian national team showed the highest result in the history of performance at the Paralympic Games, winning 36 awards of highest dignity, 38 silver and 28 bronze medals in individual and team disciplines.

That’s because they’re disabled, right? Do they not need money?

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №69880
 11.09.2012
I work in a studio that provides various media services, from recording to advertising videos and websites. We are constantly busy, often even coming to work on weekends. Dialogue at work:

Is it true that Igor is on vacation today?
A: Yes Yes
X is real? With the weekend?! to

[ + 48 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №69879
 11.09.2012
Not from a good life this popularity of loneliness. For example, when men of the reproductive age of 20+ have to either scratch or scratch, because 90% of their peers need to have time to sell their youth and beauty more expensive, looking for a "successful and experienced" gross sum on BMW.

[ + 29 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №69878
 11.09.2012
I am looking for a girl who flew on 09.09.2012 flight SU1450 at place 11E

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №69877
 11.09.2012
With my daughter (3 years old) at the adult hospital. Everyone congratulates the culprit, daughter (crying everyone) - "I also want to congratulate! Give me too! The AAA! Congratulations to you!"
Following this dialogue:

I: Congratulations
All guests immediately shift the focus to the child.
D: Congratulations on your birthday!
I: Well wish for something...
D: I want... I want...? I want Barbie!

[ + 57 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №69876
 11.09.2012
He rescued a neighbor's old woman from a neighbor's drunk. He really moved him away a little and suggested to leave.
The old lady, giving testimony to the district officer, barely sat me and said: "He pushed his head, he fell and struck his head at the wall. He himself was guilty." And he continued to list the "crimes" of this drunken woman. He smokes in the entrance, he loudly quarrels with his wife and generally shit. When the drunkard heard of the old lady's testimony, he wrote down all his bruises and knots on me.
I no longer save the old man. I did not like.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №69875
 11.09.2012
Quick Start Guide.pdf - 489 pages... really fast

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №69874
 11.09.2012
>> Timati is allowed to listen from the age of 6 and Abba is 18+ only.

Well, if on the level of mental development - then everything is right, except that ABBAs little polstili, somewhere 12-14 years is normal.

A very good propaganda move! ABBA will be listening from 12 years of age "as big" and the timati - the west will be, because"for kindergartens"

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №69873
 11.09.2012
>> Timati is allowed to listen from the age of 6 and Abba is 18+ only.

Well, if on the level of mental development - then everything is right, except that ABBAs little polstili, somewhere 12-14 years is normal.

A very good propaganda move! ABBA will listen from 12 years of age "as big" and this *happiness - the west will be, because"for kindergartens"

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №69872
 11.09.2012
XXX is
What happened?
YYYY
You were accidentally blocked - the block is removed.
XXX is
The compensation?
YYYY
You were quickly unblocked.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №69871
 11.09.2012
>>After writing on paper " Recommended to visit Laura!"

ha ha! I generally stated - you lived with your pressure for two weeks - and you will live the same time, and my reception in 5 minutes ends!"

The Sadists...

[ + 4 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №69870
 11.09.2012
If a woman doesn’t like Star Wars, she should understand why she was kicked out of her apartment at night.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №69869
 11.09.2012
We play with a friend in WOT, at the same time on Skype we discuss the features of tanks.
Friend: I have recently noticed that the Russian tanks have a very weak right arm.
Wife (passing by): It’s because there’s a liver...

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №69868
 11.09.2012
On Saturday at 13:15 I go to Bob Marley.
YYYYY: Sash, the concert?
XXX: O_o
YYYYY: Sash, the concert?
XXX: O_o
ZZZ : Ahahahah Yes, there will be Kurt Cobain on the back vocal and Michael Jackson on the subdance.)

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №69867
 11.09.2012
The philosopher Immanuel Kant was famous for his punctuality. He always returned from college at the same time. The visitors of Königsberg literally checked the clock on him: “Oh, Mr. Professor has gone. It is 19!”
and

Years later, I walk around Worsell and see a drunk man falling from a bicycle under the bush. I help to get up. From the courtyard near me they shout, “Why are you doing this? He’s here every day at 5 o’clock.”
And then I remembered Kant. And I felt proud of Worsell – now he’s a little like Konigsberg!

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