bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №69686
 07.09.2012
The morning. We lie in bed, the head is told about yesterday’s walk, and you pretend what the king (cat) has done. We have medecoms under the kitchen table. He brought a pack of citramone from the kitchen in his teeth, so not only brought it, he jumped to the bed and put it on her chest. I just adore him.

[ + 15 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №69685
 07.09.2012
> Did you bring him under hypnosis? Or under a gun? Do you marry such a hysterical woman? Or is it out of great love - husband "idiot", and fucking a bouquet of love too? The man is good, he has done well.

Some of the nerves before the wedding (and this is really the nerves, especially if you are expecting a roommate of relatives from the Far Zažopinsk, who must be invited, because otherwise the parents will be offended and will not talk for a year) to the ZAGS in home boots come. in the winter. Forgotten Rings is a classic of the genre.
The man could suddenly understand that the suit is not (or big - lost weight from stress, or small - was stressed with beer with chips, or there was a speck the size of pepper on his back - well, not enough), half an hour before the closure of the clothing salon (where all kinds of smoking and evening dresses are rented) to take the first suit rented, and yes - to deposit the passport, because the naphyg.
And yes, the bride could quite hit a bouquet, because at first three months you are wearing as an electrovinic, organizing a holiday for those very relatives from Zažopinsk, spending money (which, in general, was initially meant for a honeymoon), and five minutes before it turns out that everything is going to hell. Here, you know, you can even warm a bouquet of a prince, whom she once pulled out of the dragon's legs.
Well, in general, I agree, yes, we are all grandmothers - dumb fools with no brains, let them sit in the kitchen, be silent and not hang out.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №69684
 07.09.2012
@ADM: I was at a sectary meeting yesterday.
Sergius :?? to
@ADM: Well, b..., at the parental gathering... First they listened to the Master, then they went down to whom it was and quietly ran around the houses in the darkness of the evening...

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №69683
 07.09.2012
It looks like PONT "I have an iPhone" leaves the position of PONT "I don’t have an iPhone".

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №69682
 07.09.2012
It would be better in Japan to open bars with such names than a really existing Russian restaurant in China with a simple name "Retosran" :)

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №69681
 07.09.2012
Haven’t Haven appeared there?
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
[16:06:16] zzz: Maria Ivanovna, let the disciple N go, he is our tank and 7 adult uncles without him can not kill the deer in the coniferous forest (((

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №69680
 07.09.2012
X: Blin, how did you communicate with her? She never says anything, she is always silent.
Well, that’s how we communicated. More accurately I wrote.)
Does the SMS send empty messages too?

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №69679
 07.09.2012
XX: What is better - mental constipation, or mental diarrhea?)
Yyy: Can I think elsewhere?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №69678
 07.09.2012
Reviews of the Osharmanke Market:
I bought, I use – class! It raises the mood, makes you think. Here is only the question - where can you take the alternating cylinders with another musical composition, or is Bach already slightly tired?

[ + 32 - ] [7 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №69677
 07.09.2012
Are there any other people here who remember the grandfather on the green six?

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №69676
 07.09.2012
Windows and games on torrents in free access. Again, I don’t have to know that they’re being sold somewhere. I went to the internet for the first time. Even — I don’t know what it is anymore — I just opened Internet Explorer and read about how to live well in Russia. Then suddenly it came out – “download for free.” Why not download it, for free. I was told on television that in the country everything is good and everywhere is in order, so there can be nothing bad on the Internet. I am an idiot, I don’t know anything. I have the right =)

Ignorance of the law does not exempt from liability. And this is not a proverb, it is the actual formulation of any Code.

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №69675
 07.09.2012
I was morally raped today :(
xxx: I go as usual past the church to work, inhibited by some poor old lady, dirty, stinking, in bustles.
xxx: and asks, says I don't know when the fifth iPhone comes out
xxx: I was upset by surprise, I say, heard like September 12
I asked if I would order.
X: Serroga, am I a hipster or somebody else? I know I have an iPhone.) I show her my old nokia, which from old age and murder is dissolved in my hands, I say, I don’t have an iPhone, it’s off to me.
xxx: And here she gets a new pure iPhone 4 in a pink checholique with anime!! to
xxx: now I understand how they look at the shit, because that’s how she looked at me! With such incomparable compassion and compassion and contempt that I felt inferior.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №69674
 07.09.2012
She: What do you think?
He: Now I am crying
She: Are you crying?
She : Why?
Is it a rabbit?
See also: LUC
She: The Poor
She: I was scared for a moment that you have a heart and feelings.
You have reassured me.

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №69673
 07.09.2012
A little about the pointing:
I sell clothes from norka bobra.
and SK

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №69672
 07.09.2012
I look at the phone, there are three missed from my grandmother and a message: "Well, what’s there, yupta? Do you take the tube? Grandson fucking, forgive me gentlemen."In the beginning, I was gently shocked...A brother was in the village, the money on the phone ended, took the grandmother to call))

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №69671
 07.09.2012
From the forum:
I remembered the case... I had a boyfriend before my husband, we lived in a civil marriage then, I was jealous to the point... and one day a stranger gave me a huge yellow rose on the street (why is it suddenly?).. I liked it so much, but I couldn’t bring it home. At that time, I would have wiped out my whole shell...in general, it was a pity, but I decided to get rid of it. Near our house there is a music school, and in the courtyard there is a huge clubhouse. I took this rose, and knocked in this stove, went home, I think I’ll be looking out the window.
What was my surprise when half an hour later my match came and gave me THIS MOST ROSE!!! I don't know where he got it from :DD

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №69670
 07.09.2012
xxx: Ah, a sms from the company from which I ordered the glasses. Literally: "Send SMS with the word "EYE" and win laser surgery..." O_o

yyy: I imagine smsky after receptions with a proctologist, urologist and gynecologist )))

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №69669
 07.09.2012
I am in a smoker. There are two colleagues next to me.
I love smoking in the car. Only my one is scared: then the bull will find, then the lighter.
Colleague 2: Throw it away and it will fall behind.
Chapter 1: Yes Yes Let me tell you again that you were driving with me and smoking?
Chapter 2: You have already gotten out. Do not need?
Chapter 1: Give Up He does not know you anyway.
Co-worker 2: Another couple of your cousins, and he will definitely want to meet me.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №69668
 07.09.2012
There were a lot of incidents with this TV program marking, but, in my opinion, the Khabarov TV channel broke all trolling records, marking the weather forecast as 16+.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №69667
 07.09.2012
It’s terrible when you want not to walk and go, but to sit in front of a calf and drink beer like Gene Bukin.

It’s terrible when you know who Gene Buckingham is :)

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