bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №59686
 05.02.2012
On TV story about a Japanese who has UAZ-Buhanka for 10 years. The Japanese are naturally delighted.
He talks about the car. Then he says "I don’t understand..." and thinks in a sign next to the window.
"The backup is out. Remove the cable and remove the glass". We are happy to translate. The Japanese smiles – I’ve been translated for a long time. I cannot find the cable.

[ + 58 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59685
 05.02.2012
Every time, after my housekeepers sat by the computer, I play the game “Got what we turned off in settings!”

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №59684
 05.02.2012
I have a cat. The eggs were cut 10 years ago, and yet they are ripped.
I am complaining :(

[ + 11 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59683
 05.02.2012
Doya is ready to shoot the animated series "Little Pony of the Apocalypse", the characters of which will be sisters-two Blitz Right and Blitz Left, poni-bull Gorbatha Gorka and horse-transvestites of Sodom and Gomorrah.

[ + 62 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59682
 05.02.2012
I work in a taxi.
I went to the base, and the client asked me to wait. I stand. A car next door. The man, the evil man, all on the slats, looks at his wheel down, opens the trunk - the reserve too.
The taxi driver went to the shuttle.
I can’t wait for the customer.
He will wait for your client.
I – I cannot.
He - went
He called another car, loaded his stock and left.
And here I remember,
In the luggage compartment lies a compressor, from the smoker pumps the wheel. I just sit so bored, I pumped his wheel. The client came out and persuaded her to wait 2-3 minutes. A car arrives, a man throws out the wheel. It jumped on the asphalt, opened the luggage compartment, threw the hood, the balloon key. Going to the wheel, it’s all. Gluck all over the body, on the face of a hysteric.
And I slowly left him, leaving him with “whites";

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №59681
 05.02.2012
Announcement on the TV channel "Captain Evidence":
A lost daughter or an afferist? In the film 'Apherist' immediately after the broadcast 'You will not believe!'"

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №59680
 05.02.2012
The district is a fairy that helps everyone, but no one has seen her scuco!! to

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №59679
 05.02.2012
I agreed to meet with the client on Saturday at 13:00.
On Saturday, a security guard enters the office and sounds this phrase: "Dmitry, a girl has come to you there for an hour."
Everyone in the office immediately smiled and a colleague with a stone face declares: "take for an hour and then extend".

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №59678
 05.02.2012
My mom left me a note: take your dishes and wash the garbage. and :)

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №59677
 05.02.2012
In the discussion of photos with burns with liquid nitrogen:

So with liquid nitrogen even wash your hands, if you follow the precautions.

WOW: Well, of course, even sulfuric acid can remove redness from the eyes and uranium belt to warm your back.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №59676
 05.02.2012
It’s a pity that Leto is not with us right now. He would sing about the elections as he should.
YYY: I would not even sing about these elections. I would go on stage, whisper at the microphone, and that’s all. The concert is over.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №59675
 05.02.2012
In a conversation with my husband:
I have gone.
Where did you go?
and smoking.
Smoking is harmful.
And I went. Walking is useful.
Oh and go.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №59674
 05.02.2012
Alcohol for a relatively short time creates the illusion of happiness, then problems begin... With marriage - the same problems, but with vodka you do not have to divorce and she has no mother!

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №59673
 05.02.2012
Q: What type of beer do you drink?
YYY: I don’t know...I can’t tell you exactly right now...that I’ll leave early from the girls...I’ll try to come, but I’m not 100% guaranteed.
Tagged with: o_o'
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
ZZZ is no. It is dark, 2L.
xxx: thank you guys

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №59672
 05.02.2012
X: So why did you and Igor break up?
YYY: Yes, because I am not a pedophile to date a baby!
XXX is older than you.
YYY : Aha and older. I’ve come to terms with the fact that he plays most of the time. The collection of soldiers is OK, everyone has a hobby. But when he began to spit on a pony... A mom waked up in me with respect to him, but a woman fell asleep.
No more questions 😉

[ + 27 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59671
 05.02.2012
Do not complain to the rich about poverty, and you will not hear condemnation for laziness.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №59670
 05.02.2012
My future wife has 2 animals, a cat and a cat.
Both rescued from death, picked up on the street, went out. The cat called
The cubicle. He had one leg so left curved, as it was torn out in the joint when he was picked up on the street with a 2-month-old cat with broken legs. Intelligent, gentle and beautiful. Well, and the spouse loves to joke about him sometimes, when he cries, then swings his finger into his mouth.
He is not offended.
Yesterday they went to bed, she is so sweet and she realizes that Kubik is trying to put her leg in her mouth!

[ + 27 - ] [6 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59669
 05.02.2012
Wife prepared dinner to try it herself - scary cat sadly sits waiting for her husband

[ + 20 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59668
 05.02.2012
XHH: Looking at my handwriting, I can decide that there were doctors in my family.

[ + 40 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59667
 05.02.2012
Now began to issue a lot of magazines such as "gather a ship, gather a human skeleton, gather dolls, etc."

I wonder how soon will the magazine "Collect Borsch" appear? In the first edition a fresh leaf of cabbage!!! to

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