bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №69326
 31.08.2012
UjinKrab: Seed, why don’t we sleep so late?

Huhahehu: I drink a valerian. I have experienced this horror now. Sleeping with my wife means, well, and I went to the toilet in a big way. Well, I came, sat on the toilet and fell asleep. And I have a dream that now is night and my wife is urgently going to my mom, she goes out, and I close the door behind her and go to the bathroom (this is all in a dream), and here I wake up on the toilet and with full confidence that my wife is gone I go to bed. And here, in the darkness on the bed, I see whose body. It was the wildest horror I’ve ever experienced!!! to

UjinKrab : )))


[ + 143 - ] Comment quote №69325
 31.08.2012
DAVID36: I am a fashion style - call me on my mobile!=)
I'm fat and scary, call me at home.
DAVID36: I am a puffy teenager - drop me on a pager!
I am an old lady, a telegram has arrived.
I am your grandfather’s grandfather – send me a letter with a dove!
Rus: I remember Caesar’s father – they came with a letter to me, a gounce!
The skin of a mammoth on me - draw me on the wall!

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №69324
 31.08.2012
As a child, I could not eat chocolate rabbits. Adults break the pattern from infancy to children. Food should be made in the form of food.
Yyy: And I and ordinary rabbits cracked with pleasure.
Zzz: And it was great to play with the cut tails, my grandfather always gave me the tail, while everything else went into the soup.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №69323
 31.08.2012
Speaking on the radio, discussing a topic:
Do you know why you have to go by the Gai post slowly?
No, and why not?
They are like little children, they can suddenly run out on the road!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №69322
 31.08.2012
xxx: fucking forgotten how the movie is called - there about kung fu and panda
The Kung Fu Panda?
XXX is yes! Exactly!

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №69321
 31.08.2012
News on Lente
"Colombia bought two submarines from Germany"

Now cocaine will be cheaper. and :)

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №69320
 31.08.2012
Malivnik
Who is calling in the yard?
Rapunzel
Go open it)
Malivnik
her to her.
Rapunzel
Why? )
Malivnik
I am not waiting for anyone.
Rapunzel
Are you serious?
Rapunzel
What if you sit and flood your neighbor?
Rapunzel
He’s calling you and you’re not opening?
Malivnik
Considering that I live on the first floor - the neighbors below I will not open first.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №69319
 31.08.2012
xxx: I have grandmothers do not have gardens where I have to straw, and dachas, where I have to do something, I do not have to ride to them all the time and there to bump, I can sit all this time, ha-ha-ha!
YYY: I have 86 bottles with all kinds of snacks.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №69318
 31.08.2012
I loved mathematics at school.
What did the universe do with this love?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №69317
 31.08.2012
Davidlivsey: If sectarians come to you and ask if you believe in God, answer: No, but I sell KIRBI!

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №69316
 31.08.2012
Therefore, even small breasts are suitable for small women.

[ + 51 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №69315
 31.08.2012
xxx: have to download for the offspring "Well, wait!", while the wolf still smokes there...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №69314
 31.08.2012
He: So what do you want?
She is: Nothing. Just wish me.)
He is O_O
She: In the sense of “pick me up.”
I’m sorry for you. ?
Can you wish someone like me anymore? What terrible, is it? The shit is insensitive!! I went out with my pity!!! to
He is O-O

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №69313
 31.08.2012
msdnik: here the aunts scare with temperatures below zero on Saturday)
Tomatoes will fly.
Msdnik: you’ll wear a coward with no hassle!)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №69312
 31.08.2012
Some currencies can only be converted into a joke.

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №69311
 31.08.2012
The story was told by a student.

Several years ago, one of the respected and respected residents of Old Oskol, Fedor Klyuk, who at one time was among the hundred Russian millionaires according to Forbes, on the honestly earned money of excessive labor built a house for himself. Not even a house, but a villa. The place picked good - nature, direct access to the reservoir, silence. The only thing that was nearby was a cemetery enclosed with a concrete fence, but, in fact, it did not bother. Especially, where is his child?

But here is the trouble - the locals finally got upset and for some reason decided that they have the right to walk past the house of the most honest man to the reservoir, and even swim there. As if the lakes and rivers belong to the people... What to do is the people, not the people...

The solution was found quickly – the road was blocked, a shlagbaum was installed and a mini-CPU with security was provided. No one has tried water anymore.

However, the response of the local residents was worthy - several night shifts of the guard after that were fired. No, at night no one travelled by armored truck through the station in the hope of swimming in the reservoir... No one shot the guard with a sniper rifle. No one threw a bottle with a combustion mixture into the territory of Fedor. Everything was much quieter and more convincing.

Every morning on the newly painted concrete fence of the cemetery appeared the inscription: “Fedya, we are waiting for you!”

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №69310
 31.08.2012
Everything a woman does at home is imperceptible.
It becomes noticeable when she doesn’t do it.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №69309
 31.08.2012

Typhoon "Bolaven" will help extinguish forest fires in the Khabarovsk region

And only in Russia one trouble extinguishes another.

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №69308
 31.08.2012
.braaaain 02 December 2009
Excerpt from a lecture on the history of Asia and Africa:

Teacher: What was the famous tribe of the Kyrgyz who were conquered by Genghis Khan? What were their external characteristics?
All of Nooo...
Someone: They had blue heads.
They were blondes too!
Teacher is right! The Blue Blondes.
Everyone: * minute and a half comes, everyone rushes to the lecture *
Everyone begins to roast
Teacher: That is blue-eyed blondes! Otherwise they would have disappeared!

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №69307
 31.08.2012
I go from the house to the sea, shorts with a belt. There is a girl, 5 years old.
Q: Are you going to the sea?
I am: Aha
D: Yes, and there are the same meduses!!!! Horror in the Eyes
I : I know. I will chase them.
D: Aaa... we’re ramming, right?? to

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