bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №59326
 29.01.2012
The walk, softly speaking, was lengthy. When everyone got a drink from Vitalik, he wanted to eat, and as a result somehow unnoticed moved to the apartment of the girlfriend of Vitalik (she lives nearby). I sit in the kitchen and smoke. The girl-maid of the apartment comes in, followed by her boyfriend, already "no". She starts making coffee, gets more cookies, and so on. The guy looks at her, and suddenly gives out with a drunk and jealous voice:
I didn’t understand it, shit!! Why are you behaving so masterly here? How do you know where sugar and cups lie? Do you come here so often?! to
She is:
Nothing that I live here?
O O O O O!!! Which...?! to
This is my house, fool. We came here two hours ago.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №59325
 29.01.2012
Commentary on the news of the explosion at House-2:
and the explosions. Not right that. And immoral, there still people work and participate. For the correct sample, you need a sniper to see where you are shooting."

[ + 38 - ] [6 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59324
 29.01.2012
The xxx :
Why do most people in the world choose Islam?

Eeee :
It just seems to you! The majority of the world’s population chooses the AK-47!


[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №59323
 29.01.2012
XXX: How to find the root of the discriminant?
YYY: the root of the discriminant!
XXX is fucking

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №59322
 28.01.2012
The fucking guys are biting naked!!!! to
Lav: No, it’s all okay, just a cat in a bag of cloves...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №59321
 28.01.2012
The cat struck the last condom in the house. This man wants a brother...
c) Yellow

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59320
 28.01.2012
My cat is so rough that it plays with bricks.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №59319
 28.01.2012
7:33) XXX: Fuck, I’m a sheep :(
YYY: Can you also spit on your back? and :)

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №59318
 28.01.2012
aaa: the instructor in our auto schools is a pipet, the instructor did not teach me anything, on the highway alone, we go around the city - he sleeps lying, constantly smokes every five minutes, on the phone cracks and s*at runs into the bushes constantly and everything... caroche just provided me with a car to work out theoretical knowledge on his own, but neither, I gave up, I drive myself and everything is okay, I work on the car and there was no curiosity, apparently this is given at the genetic level, who is in the subway to ride and top the legs, and who is driving the king)))

BBB: Rather, the instructor did so because you were driving normally. And if the trainee is an obvious baklawn, then the instructor does not sleep, but smokes and crashes right in the car.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №59317
 28.01.2012
I love you very much, you know?
YYY: is it true?
xxx: not
I want to fuck you, I will divorce you.
xxx: I will fuck you about the moon from the sky and the apartment on the cottage
yyy: you will be good fuck - I listen, I will give and I will not notice)
XXX: Listen to me
xxx: All celestial bodies are initially assigned some effort, and they do not lose it solely because they are in the vacuum, but even in the vacuum there is a microscopic fraction - microscopic dust, etc., there is no absolute emptiness.
so that the effort is gradually wasted and sooner or later becomes too small, the moon will gradually begin to lower its orbit around the earth and eventually fuck straight on us) so that if you do me a favor and do not leave me for a few billions of years, the moon from the sky I guarantee you)
Q: How did your legs move?

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №59316
 28.01.2012
Food gives me unparalleled pleasure.
Is it better than sex?
Sex, of course, is better, but eating more!
Do you want to equate them by quantity?
Do you offer me to have sex or go on hunger strike?

[ + 45 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59315
 28.01.2012
My girlfriend came to work as a secretary. Everything is great and resume, and accompanying, and recommendations, and appearance. The next day...I wanted to call again, and make a job offer. I give it to my assistant...he after a while runs in and just screams.
You have read
Yes Yes
Do we call anyway? You are brave!! to

at the end of the resume where the additional information goes was written by hand (manifested inks)

"You will stick, I will plant" General, father

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №59314
 28.01.2012
I go from the subscriber.Conversation of daughter(D) (years 5 not more) and mother(M):
Do you want to bring the cat home?
M: No, I can not.
D: And why, because she is constantly crawling and crawling?
M: Yes
Q: So let’s take the dog?
M: No, we will not take a dog.
D: Is it because he’s crawling and crawling too?
M: Yes
D: then let’s get the fish, they’re quiet and crawl only into the aquarium.

[ + 41 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59313
 28.01.2012
And the years go by... Bruce Willis in the last "Strong Nuts" seems not so old...

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №59312
 28.01.2012
spider.ch: I have a mega idea, a device that will change our lives
Psyhister: The Destroyer of Dwarves?
spider.ch : No
SPIDER.CH: Although this is also an idea

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №59311
 28.01.2012
35 years, a week of barking, I go to the post office for an order from an online store, knocking on the window: - girl, do you work?
Do you have Avon?

“Rucalyzo, it looks like that.

[ + 43 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59310
 28.01.2012
Do you mainly use MacOS or Windows?
Chapter 22: Ameboo
111: What is Linux?
222 is skilled.
222: The violin
222 is fucking. Wendy
222: I'm sorry, the Iphone words blur
111: :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
111: Iphone Kabbah suggests...
111: The imperfection of Winda. and :)
222: Honestly, the puppy itself wipes the words
Chapter 22: The Suffle!
11 I know. and :)
Chapter 22: The Iphone
222: He doesn’t even understand himself
Jobs always said that you have to guess what the user needs before the user realizes that he needs it.
111: Here is the result. and :)
111: The new definition of Winda. From the company Epel. A skillful violinist. It is :)
222: Okay, I will be here to swell up and rest.
111 to go. and :)
Chapter 22: Getting Rid of You!
111: Be careful with the electricity. • Do not crack. and ? ?

[ + 45 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №59309
 28.01.2012
Students talk about change:
The people! How will it be in English?
The Crot!
Q: What about the French?
by La Crotte!

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №59308
 28.01.2012
On the way to school this morning,
I thought of one thing: no.
to go away, or to go crazy,
I go to bed and sleep.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №59307
 28.01.2012
The news:
A British girl has only eaten nagets throughout her life.
From the age of two, the 17-year-old... has only eaten chicken nagets from McDonald's... Doctors are seriously afraid...... for her life. severe avitaminosis, anemia and inflamed tongue. But she does not give up... Indifferent mothers... Doctors... just inject her the substances necessary for the growing body.
The first comment:
Injection of liquids, I hope.

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