The motto: “In the forest, they say, the chromed foxes appeared again...” At the same time, of course, it would still be good to bring the passing person into the palm of a pre-prepared flashlight with a list of surnames (preferably Latvian) and a piece of video recording, in which some person greedy eats Korean carrots.

Password has changed. And if you, creature, tell it to somebody again, you will rot the rest of your life in the mines of Satumbria!

Shortness is the sister of talent in literature and the sister of the swallow in sex.

Conversation on the network:
Have you changed jobs? And how?
A full zoo.
Is it so bad?
- No, just the director's surname is Bykov, his deputy - Sinitsyn, accountants - Zhukov, Voronov, Zaitsev and a man from the IT department with the name Belokon. And I am Kotovsky. I was told, “Welcome to our zoo.”

You need to live so that there is not enough time for social networks.

At work, they were instructed to photograph employees, process photos, enter the base.
They were asked:"What are the photographs here", "What are the photographs for?What is " and what is" and so on?
On the door hanged a letter with the text:
1 Photograph here.
Photo for electronic cards.
Sign up to the magazine.
The mirror on the left.
Stand up to the refrigerator.
The first entry of the "client": "Why did you write this?"

The grass-cutting machine near the student dormitory called its working tool "gandom-cutting machine".

From the correspondence of the neighbors on the BC:
? to
! to
and gt;
> and >
Decodification
Go to smoke?
and Oga!
I am out >
I am also >>

Previously, when there was a need for some kind of counsel on the farm, always called my mom, she tells me how to cook borscht, wash off the spot. And now you call, and you answer: What, the money on the internet has ended?

I am sitting in the clinic, waiting for my turn for fluorography. I have an old man and an old man. There are no women. In the neighboring office, according to the inscription on the door, a mammography is done (that is, a breast X-ray). Aunt approaches there and asks us – who, say, is extreme on mammography. My uncle wasn’t confused:
and ah! I am extreme! I will go to the gynecologist for a while.

GreenQ: When I went out of the store, I crossed the road, they stood next to me, I understood, mom and son. A 15-year-old boy passes by a car from which he walks to the entire Halloween street. Fuck, I hate when they listen to all that shit!
immediately gets a sluggish backbone from the mom with the words "That’s exactly how to express yourself???!!!" I think nifiga myself, not lucky guy))) for shit-to))) until the mom does not finish the phrase "it is not shit... but the legendary group...."

He heard the bell, and you don’t know where it was?

Tales of 1000 and 1st Night - a practical guide on how to dynamize a man in 3 years.

Learn the match. I should have read the first story. At first, the husband Shakherezada, then she entertained him with fairy tales, and at dawn stops permitted speeches. In three years she told stories and had time to give birth to children.

Yesterday after coming from work I hung my shirt on the hanging (I usually throw where it got)
xxx: I was looking for her for 20 minutes in the morning, cursing the houses and drums!!! to

XXX is A-A-A! May is hysterical.
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
xxx: call to us in support: "we here moved processors from one monitor to another, and there old data!".
XX: Clearly, nothing is clear – go out... I can’t go further.
What processors and monitors? You all have a monopoly, right?
XXX is yes. The monoblocks. External food blocks. Guess what they really changed!

I have not eaten for three days. I don’t sell food in the shops. I did not sell gum at the kiosk yesterday. I can’t travel by public transport – I’m stupid not selling a ticket. People, if anyone... exchange a five-thousand note, please!

Lara, are you okay? Have you calmed?
YYY: Yes, I am calm as a dough! Give me a rabbit and I’ll drown him.

What do you do if you burn in the sun?
I burn on other stars.

Are you all the time so nervous, hysterical, upset, you at least ever behave calmly? At least sometimes?
Yes, during sex I lie like a barrel :)

You will soon find out that you will also be covered.

From a tweet on the one-day strike:

The last idiot knows what quintessence is.! to
And what is it?
I will write to you now! Ups no, I’ll write tomorrow.
‪#WeCounterClosure of Wikipedia‬

by @VitaSvift

Mr. Mechanical: I feel like an idiot. All my life I laughed first on my mother and sister, then on my wife, that they were not able to determine exactly how much filling a cake needed, always remains superfluous, and I have something to feed while baking in the oven. Female eye measurement, irrational use of products, etc. Only yesterday accidentally heard how the wife teaches the daughter - filling do more, dad loves her just so to eat, always with a spoonful ready to serve.