bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №66906
 12.07.2012
Review of Bloodline Champions:

What is admin capable of?
Killing a Cat
Sorry to bother me.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №66905
 12.07.2012
xxx: rushed around the apartment in tattoos, came back in one tattoos, where the second went, I don't mind
How can you not notice that the tap has landed?
YYY: You’ll decide how to get a sneaker, a shoe or a shoe :)
xxx: one butterfly, and the other, rather, another - butterfly, is his wife.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №66904
 12.07.2012
Has your girlfriend not worked your brain for a long time? Lack of feelings? Zevni during the mine.and c)
I tried to eat...

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №66903
 12.07.2012
XX: By the way, I recently dreamed that my navel was unplugged and served as a kind of hood. I drank them and drank:D and it was through him that all the secrets of the universe were revealed to me!
P.S A psychiatrist is not advised.

[ + 38 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №66902
 12.07.2012
A good idea for summer cocktails is to make pieces of ice with berries, mint or lemon. Try to experiment :)
“No, it’s a good idea to make pieces of ice with menthol and serve them in a wheel.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №66901
 12.07.2012
Nikolai Fedenko: How to break the contact without a checkpoint?
How to ask a question without a brain?

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №66900
 12.07.2012
How can you get tired of having sex with a loved one?
2: Well, imagine: You really love oysters from the province of "San Jose".
You eat them everywhere and always: at home, with friends
(It’s normal, everyone knows what it’s like to eat.)
You eat them always: day, night, morning and evening.
In five years, you learn that, in principle, any oysters are better with lemon juice.
But! This is exactly what is immoral.
In addition, they are now needed only after 22:00 (children are allergic to them, they need to sleep)
They need to be eaten only at home or in the country and quietly)))
Five years later, finally getting permission for lemon juice.
You have read somewhere and heard that oysters are eaten by pre-cooking in a crushed salt...
But! Still not these, and the conditions of eating are even tougher, but the regularity isined.
2: As a result, after 15 years of regular eating oysters from the province "San Jope"
(Please note, exceptionally rare and expensive)
Knowing that oysters can simply be sucked without opening the shell...
They can be marinated in advance.
You can eat salad, etc.
You often already impose them, sometimes with lemon juice, but exactly at 23:00 (((
2: And now, I dumbly dream of simple "fish sticks"
But! Again but! Lunch and beer (
And what about the Australians? I already hate them a little, and even avoid somewhere (((
2 is so clear?

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №66899
 12.07.2012
Ri: He’s so strong that when he tried my e-cigarette, he managed to put it in the ashes!

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №66898
 12.07.2012
From the discussion of the meaning of the songs of Earthfire

Asami
In her songs there is as much meaning as in blue flying dogs sitting on a breeze with apples.

Asami
I will write in her style.
We went west, and the rail bended in width.
What to do to get a great package.
Maybe I will even understand you quietly, but the things are not rail already bent up there.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №66897
 12.07.2012
The newspaper.ru
The judge considered that the HSC does not trade religious objects, but gives them free of charge for the recommended amount of donations.


[ + -8 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №66896
 12.07.2012
From the discussion of the meaning of the songs of Earthfire

Azamat of Migrants
In her songs there is as much meaning as in blue flying dogs sitting on a breeze with apples.

Azamat of Migrants
I will write in her style.
We went west, and the rail bended in width.
What to do to get a great package.
Maybe I will even understand you quietly, but the things are not rail already bent up there.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №66895
 12.07.2012
What to do before a date:

1st Take a shower.
2nd Wash your feet and everything else. Brushing the eyebrows.
Three Wash and lay your hair.
4 is Lie down with the mask for at least 20 to 30 minutes.
5 is Apply a makeup.
6 is Make a manicure. The color of the dress should coincide with the color of the dress.
7 is Think about clothing, including clothes (and don’t give god if it’s not coupled). And this is also a bag, gloves, shoes (should match the situation, color, style, mood and weather).
8 is Find a jewelry.
9 is Give up!

xy: You write "Let me come to you in half an hour..."
xx: a guy is enough - 1 and 9, and 2 as a bonus. Everything else should be removed and washed. Believe in my word.)

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №66894
 12.07.2012
As soon as you say you’re cool, there’ll be someone who wants to check it out.

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №66893
 12.07.2012
Doctor from San Diego

An excerpt from a conversation between two old ladies listened to in an electric car near the Arsk station.

The evening.
In the semi-empty car, it was pretty blind, and the grandmothers sat on the shop behind my back. I don’t even know what they looked like:

We ate a snack, a week, a week. A month ago they left.
Did Ramsey come to you with your child? How is it called?
His name is Chris. He is eight years old and I have never seen him before.
Is Chris like a rat? What kind of man was he called?
"Ramil's wife beat, and I'm used to it, and there, in Diego, there are a lot of Criss, no pain and irritation.
To whom is it similar?
- A copy of grandfather, the same eyebrows, nose, from the hand would not drop, but painfully already heavy, as Ramil in childhood. Good - there is no strength, but you can still see that the Negriton...
Do you miss?
And then not. But they left me a talk, Chris tried to buy. Now I can talk and watch as much as I want.
The phone is? And to look?
What kind of phone is that? Not a phone, but a box like a chess board. How are computers? It’s the same, but not the computer. You open - on the top cover the TV, and the printing machine at the bottom.
When I want to call them, I take a notebook, Chris painted everything for me – what to press first, what to follow. A very wise machine. From her still on the wire goes such, like a pudrenice. At first, I played for hours, the evil was lacking. You pull it on the table until you get where it should be. And all, the television says Chris. He sees and hears me there too. We talk so at night.
What at night? Sleep a servant.
And they’re there in Diego, it’s the very day at night.
Is it expensive to negotiate?
They say cheap, I don’t know, they pay cold themselves.
Is it good to see and hear? You are as deaf as a thief.
As in a movie, Chris showed me their house, palm trees and even reached the sea. Good house, beautiful, like a supermarket in Kazan.
Hearing is normal.
At first, when I bought the device, I could not understand that it was there. To whisper like a mosquito, and words do not understand, do not hear.
Crisic thought to buy me screams, wooden such, as if the youth listen to music. It hurt, very loudly.
I was drumming here the other day and the elbow was heavily swaddled, the wood rubbed. At first nothing, and by night it broke so that the hand doesn't shake.
I don’t sleep, I start my bucket.
Crisic looked at me and said, “What’s so sad, grandmother?”
I told him how the wood rubbed and stinked, he says, - and you blow on the wound, it will not hurt.
I say, “Someone, I live alone, so how can I swallow my elbow? Think for yourself.
Chris pulled his eyebrows and said, “Let me blow you. Remove the clutches from the screamer and spin the biggest sound.
I removed the net, turned around, and asked:
What next?
“And then, grandmother, bring the folded elbow as close as possible to the scream, but don’t touch it.
I did so, and he started to blow out loudly – “P.R.R.R.R.” And I felt the wind from the scream with my elbow...He really did! And you know, the hand immediately became easier...
........................................................................................
So you are? Good news, they will come again. Take your bags and go out.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №66892
 12.07.2012
If you are on a diet, remember the golden rule: “If you want to eat, eat an apple.
If you don’t want an apple, you don’t want to eat.”

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №66891
 12.07.2012
In the future, during the repair of PVC boats, we specially added cat feces inside each compartment. In subsequent operation, this serves as the best indicator of the sealing of the boat. If there is a hell smell on the parking lot during the steering in the cockpit, then the boat is somewhere in the air - it is time to repair.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №66890
 12.07.2012
Aleksandrit: On the site of the raw coffee shop: “The site is grown on pure HTML cultures without the use of GMOs.”

[ + 52 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №66889
 12.07.2012
Group VK, survey: "Ladies, what do your home men do at home on their own?".
A long discussion with standard text sheets with complaints about men’s lazy, and a proud response from one of the newly married girls:
He goes to the toilet. and independently.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №66888
 12.07.2012
The year 2034
Yes, in my youth, you could find any information on the Internet for free.
My grandfather is telling stories again.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №66887
 12.07.2012
Cotte had to do his "great" business past the pot. Of course, I learn everything – unsuccessfully. At night, not turning on the light, I go out to the balcony - where there is a bowl, and I accidentally enter it, not just go on, but climb! The first feeling is B! And then it is URA!! I have learned!!! to

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