I decided to lead a healthy lifestyle, bought a bicycle, now for beer and cigarettes I ride on the big...

I could be a surgeon, but not a veterinarian. I love animals very much...

xxx: van, I worked there for a year, first as an internship, then as an assistant assistant, then just as an assistant, in general, "bring that, give it." Well, I was all suited, I managed to combine with the study, and they paid no money, and yet a cup. I graduated from college, came to the boss, I ask - is there a permanent place for me in the department? He shrugged his shoulders, said, the state is complete, sorry. Well no, no, I wasn't very upset, I got a good job, I gained both formal and real work experience - the firm is really good, everything was taught.
Write a summary. education, work experience killed, and then stupor - you know, with formal "works" I have seams. I asked the boss to help a little, he is an adequate man, I think he will not let go in trouble :) began to write "personal qualities", he is such "well, write... well, communicability, step-by-step, whoever wants teeth to talk. stress resistance... yeah, how did you and Ivanov cope, when the whole department had already drank valerian... yeah, this is generally possible in professional skills - conflict management. Write it up, haha. the ability to cope with non-standard tasks... organizational skills..." well in this spirit everything.
The next day I come to the personnel officers, and they are, and Vladimir Zelenich said to make an order to transfer you to the position of manager.
Shut up?
What was it at all?
yyy: "Such a cow is needed by himself".

In English courses, the teacher tries to imitate the subtleties of English grammar and concludes his speech with the phrase:
This needs to be understood and...
Voice from the room:
... to forgive?
The teacher was humorous and laughed louder.

HH: How is it?

It’s bad... why? If you’re normal, can I tell you?

Oh yeah yeah

Fuck, my throat hurts terribly! What to do?

Which is Natalia?))

Oh yeah, the frog! You are there too!

The possibility of killing a person by polonium. A 100% Nobel Prize.

The half-life of polonium is 138 days, the full breakdown period is 276 days, respectively.

In RBC entered the noble trolls - fans of the bender from Futurama.
News title: "Gazprom will build its innograd with R&D and pipes"

stamp: name me in such a way that I can be both rough and gentle at the same time
Chaykina: you are a cat

And God promised the people that good and obedient wives would be found in every corner of the world. Then he made the earth round... and laughed, and laughed, and laughed.

The wife tells her husband she wants to divorce:
Where do I ask for my marriage certificate???! to
M: in place
J: On what one?
M: on your own
Q: Where is his place?
Fuck, he knows it.

Telephone conversation of two accountants from different firms:
What is the amount of our debt to you?
2) The amount of debt is 16822,10
...the voice of the director on the second plane to the side of the accounting gallery 2 "hear, you, the work, the accountant 6l*, you where you look at yourself in the pizza** or in 1C buch-yu, go to x** with such numbers!!!...
1) How much do I understand if your manager disagrees with the amount of debt?

We live with you like two pigs.
He is like three pigs.
She: Who is the third?
We are two like three.

The boss asked me why I was unmarried. And then I raised the topic that I don't have a family, my own apartment, no loans, I can not work for a few months - how he will keep me in this situation.

From Formspring:
QQ: Where do you think the hat in Hogwarts would set you: in Griffin, Slytherin, Cogtevran, or in Puffendou?
AAA: Let me tell you the truth. I was identified as "Industrial Architecture". And the second day I do not know whether to rejoice or to mourn.

At the top of the bullying was the advertisement of erotic massage rolled into the door of my old Moskovich!

I ordered a package from the USA.
The package arrived in 37 days. Of them, 3 days the package went through the United States, the remaining 34 days to the mother of Russia.After the shout of a colleague at work that he for this time would go on foot, decided to calculate...

So, from Krasnodar to Moscow 1500 km. An ordinary person can walk at a speed of 7 km / h. You can walk without stress about 6 hours a day. A total of approximately 42 km / day.1500 divided by 42... And we get 35.7 days to Moscow by foot.

Here is the whole secret. Russian Post - letters delivered by their own feet!!! to

Looking at my husband's new cartoon Miyazaki "From Mack Fields", he thinks for a long time, then says: Somewhere I have already seen this actress.
I don’t think, I ask: Where?
HE: Per she had been filmed in some hentai before. All good anime actresses started with hentai.

<HrenodelЪ> by the way, the ass is a universal interface for interaction with the environment
You do not use it as a danger sensor and it becomes an input-output device.

He must ask Higgs whether his boson is his or not.
The boson is not mine, I just posted the ad. and Higgs.

I watched yesterday a Soviet cartoon of the 1980s, where doll kids were playing in the hospital, the phrase:
"Do not fool the patient! You are in a city hospital, and here we will treat you as we think it is necessary, not as you need it.
I laughed and thought a lot.