You are my friend, right?
He is: Aha, and?
Find me a guy.
They are full of circles.
She: So then you will be my boyfriend? I do not offer each other to swear in eternal love, I do want to kiss each other stupidly.
He: It sounds charming, I probably won’t give up.
She is: Seriously?
He: I can
He: How do you imagine it? Well our kisses there, suddenly I’ll start to open my hands?
She: I have a bad blow to my leg.
He understands, not a fool.

zich: The most sensitive receptors are sensitive receptors.

Early morning of the weekend. I lie in bed and think that life is so predictable, nothing new.

There was a bell at the door, they brought the agenda to the military committee.

He arrived.

I am reading an article about the signs of an approaching death: loss of appetite, excessive fatigue and drowsiness, physical weakness, turbidity of consciousness and disorientation, self-isolation... that’s me during the session! I remember, I was tired.

Why are your lips blurred again?
Weather and Girls
Is it how?
The girls are so dressed that when you pass by you lick.
The wind on the street...

How to get a girl to leave you?
Before her arrival to persuade a friend to dress up and go to bed, and go there yourself! True, there are 2 disadvantages: fame will go about both of you and, if a girl without complexes, you will have to live three.

A man must obey a woman unconditionally and tell her what to do.

An inventive director.

Once, at a contest of military orchestras, by the way, in Riga, our orchestra had to go through a ceremonial march past the competition commission on the plateau.
In front, the conductor conducts with a tamper-major. The orchestra behind him. The first line of tubes, trombones. The second series of copper breathing tools and other dudes. They go, they play, they try. The feet are in the asphalt. The submarines fly in different directions. clearly. It is beautiful. The Eger march is sounding!

And suddenly! Stones on the asphalt plate, at the tribune itself. Right flank, tuber, height of 190 cm, from all the scale impresses the booth on this stone. He twists his leg and falls on his stomach, raising his hands with the tube up. The musician’s instinct. A tool is more expensive than life.
The orchestra, continuing to go, on its right side, stumbling at the falling trumpet.
The musicians fall like the bones of a domino and the plates turn into a bunch of small.

The remaining part of the musicians, with stone faces, continues, as in nothing, to repel the step and roar in the tubes. The composition is no longer that. Only two votes remained.
The conductor, not seeing what was being done behind his back, finally heard the strange sound of the "Eger March", made a statutory turn and went back to the orchestra. He stopped him in front of the tribune, stopped the music and, appealing to the commission standing on the tribune, shouted:

"We showed you how the orchestras will run on the uncharted territory of the square! Now we’ll remove those stones and show you how the orchestra will go when it’s clean!” With these words, he raised the stones and demonstrably threw them off the side.
Return the orchestra to the original.
Again with the “Eger’s March” the orchestra went great!

Who do you listen to more, Mom or Dad?
Of course Mom!
Why is?
She speaks more!

XHH: The doctor requires a super-deep mine from me (
WOW: What does it mean?! to
Wow: aa... I’ve never been so accurately described as gastroscopy.

and asking:

It is only my husband who can get poisoned with cockroaches, sit all day in the toilet, experience terrible cracks in the stomach, hide and hide from there to the whole apartment, and the next day, knowing what torture inquisition awaits him, eat these same cockroaches, because it is DUTY.

Is it only you, such an insulting wife, didn't have enough brain to throw out these cocktails after your spouse's first poisoning, or do you do it all twice?

Never buy graffiti!

Problems in composition.

Since the author's position of the soul is equal to love, the problem "what is the soul?" is equal to the problem "what is love?", which is translated into English - "what is love?". Baby Don't Hurt Me Don't Hurt Me Don't Hurt Me No More

The Spring. It is hot outside, but it is still cold at home. Dialogue between brother (B) and wife of brother (ZB).
Before going to bed, he walks around the apartment in a fur cage and says:
JB: Sash, can I sleep in this bedroom? It is cold...
B: Yeah, but sleep in the valleys, most importantly without cowards.

With Miley.
This is not the first case of censorship of films in China. Previously, an episode of the film Titanic was cut. The film came out on the screens without a scene, where the heroine Kate Winslet poses the hero of Leonardo DiCaprio naked. From the actress in the story of the scene left one head. “Do you think I’ve been waiting for three-dimensional icebergs for 15 years?” asked one of the spectators.

I seem to understand how mature age differs from old age:

In adulthood, you wear pants and brush your teeth in the morning.

In old age, you brush your teeth and brush your pants in the morning.

Students are burning. I haven’t been there for a whole year, but I came here today and asked:
Is today the deadline for laboratory deliveries?
I can give up next week.
Okay, and we went away. O_O

Maximov_Sergey_103: When you look at the clock and you see 3:14, you realize that your sleep is really 3.14th.

The office rule: the undernourished food residues are thrown away not by the one who brought the food and not by the one who did not eat, but by the one who asked what it smells like.

I talk to a girl on Skype:
You know, I want a cat.
You have an allergy.
D: Then the man
I am a fucking logic

(Place of activity: Forum of Mothers)

X: What are the problems and tricks of boys with scissors?? to
Y: When they grow up, they go where they don’t go. ;)
Z: We haven’t gone anywhere for 2.5 years.