In a conversation with a friend:
And my grandmother, by the way, is a teacher of Russian language and keyboard!

In the bus, a girl speaks to her drunken young man:
by Zaia! Are you stupid? This is my pop! Hold on to the mandate!

xxx: For the first time, I choose a note by color, not by characteristics.
YYY : Why?
XXX is a gift.

I slept two hours at night. I decided to shut up during the day. I fall asleep, comes a SMS about the company's car shares. I send you a message: "Let you go naked with your shame. The car is crazy and you are crazy.
Z is. Bishop of Bishop" Sorry, it didn’t go away, as an anonymous number. Calling and dialogue:
My name is Michael, how can I help?
I got your mail!
I will do everything...
I fall asleep pleased, as at this moment comes on the other cell phone the same SMS. Please call Michael. The dialogue:
You have choked in five minutes.
The phone calls wake me up.
Are there any more phones in the apartment?
Why Why?
I will cancel mailing to your phones in advance.

Doctors, salt and sugar are the white death.

Toscanini was very nervous at the rehearsals.

Once he directed a symphony in which the harpist had to take one single note once. And the aristocrat managed to falsify!

Toscanini decided to repeat the whole symphony, but when it was time to enter the harp, the musician again stumbled.
The crazy Toscanini left the hall.

There was a concert tonight. The unfortunate harpist takes his place in the orchestra, removes a box from the harp... And what does he see? All strings from the harp are removed. There is only one thing left: necessary.

Childhood is when the cat is older than you.

The news:

Escaping from the police, the man jumped from the 9th floor and left to Anapa.

Chuck, I know it’s you!

I went into the kitchen where my wife had just transplanted flowers in pots.
Now I know why Americans call their hurricanes only female names.

In Estonia, Adolf Hitler was canonized, Marasma was strengthened, trees were broken.

Archbishop of the Estonian Evangelical-Lutheran Church Andres Põder has blessed the decision of the local synod to count Reich Chancellor of Germany Adolf to the figure of holy martyrs. “The Second World War and Soviet occupation have left heavy traces in the souls of individuals and the whole Estonian people,” Pider said, “Let us pray for those people and young people who do not understand the past and the changes that have taken place, what was the true face of the Soviet Union and that Estonia is not part of Russia.

The legacy of the Soviet occupation affected many Estonians, among whom cynicism, indifference and selfishness spread. It is time to throw away the ill-smelling Russian yoke from our shoulders and proclaim the true hidden values first proclaimed by the Führer Adolf Hitler. By the authority given to me by God, I declare Adolf, who suffered and accepted martyrdom from the hands of the bloody Stalinist regime, a holy great martyr," Archbishop Pyder concluded his speech.

First comment: His name says everything

From the morning in the news was a story about the awarding of the prize"Mus-TV". Compared to what I saw, the gay parade is a child’s fun.

Correspondence on the wall of the men's toilet at the Savel station:
"girlfriends call me alone 8..."
Other markers
"The Dude"

It was always confusing the manner of some - used prejudices from the balcony and in the window to throw out.
Especially on the weekend when "parents at the country"....
Below me the young man was so distracted...Even lower – the grandmother is alive. Pronunciations hang on the branches of trees. There are summer rains. Gandhs are slowly poured with rainfall and transformed into colorful fruits....The grandmother then ticks them with a stick, trying to guess - what this pink and yellow matured there.
And I can't smoke on the balcony quietly - laughing with tobacco smoke...
Shortly on Friday night, he called on the door and talked to a girl in the neighborhood. On Friday – not to burn it, I’m not a beast.
She was glad that the infa stuck on her and did not protect the births.
The fruit has stopped.

Fuck, I got my diploma!
YYY: What is there for you?
Yes, the fucking after work gathered to eat, he warmed meant, took a bowl in the kitchen, sat dumb in front of the bowl, ate, stood up and went back to the kitchen to wash dishes!
YYY: So what is that? = = /
The computer was turned off!!! to

X: Do you have any friends?
YYY: Of course there is.
XXX: It is bad to believe. According to the page on VKontakte.
YYY: What if I don’t have a page at all? Would you stop believing in my existence?

Terrorist Anders Breivik will not be "sitting" alone in anticipation of the final decision of the medical commission, as according to local laws mentally unstable criminals are prohibited from being alone for a long time. According to iAfrica, the leadership of the prison has decided to hire for him fellow prisoners who will entertain the terrorist, playing chess and florbal with him, as well as conducting conversations. In part, this duty falls on his guards.
XXX: I think it’s crazy.
Killed 77 people
You are also amused.

I bought a small vacuum cleaner for the keyboard. The dust. The computer writes in the word: YYYYYYY.

History at the Technical Faculty. A young and harmful preacher and student who tried to get a bill yesterday:
Q: Name the three branches of state power in Russia.
C: Well there is Parliament... a long torment.
Q: Zika, are you drinking during the week?
I said I’m drinking.
P: That doesn’t justify you. It explains everything, but does not justify it.

From the Women’s Forum:
A friend of mine told me that if you swallow sperm, you can fly.
Is it true? :o
Yyy: Oh, and if you drink a raw egg, you'll definitely take a dozen :D

In one of the South Park series, the problem of a large number of poor people was solved by reducing the income bar. That is, the poor now considered, for example, those who had a income of $ 60 (and before-$ 70). And now guess what methods the Russian government plans to fight poverty. It is sad, ladies and gentlemen.