Today the system failed... I decided to get off the escalator not with my right leg, as I always did, without thinking, but with my left. It felt like I was learning.)

by Ronikut:
I recently went to the strip bar, was very drunk, celebrated the anniversary of divorce, as a result, a beautiful stripper is sitting on my knees, and we engaged in a masterpiece conversation:
I: Girl, but in your life you had more of the same eggs like me, who were ready to carry you on your hands to death, and you were sewing them off.
She: Yes
I: And now we are both here.

Here’s what a touch phone means... A cat snorting him, took 3 photos, sent 5 messages and called a police suit

And we in the family have a story about the bullet lightning, which grandmother's brothers and sisters sometimes tell... how they were all scared and all that, and my grandmother is constantly whispering to me: yes, they are all dark, it is the grandfather who chased the girl, his machine exploded, that's all.

A friend told me that when he lived in the United States, his father in his family suffered from such dyslexia that he called him not Nikita, but Natasha.

I went to the store, picked a perforator, and I understood...
Love for neighbors is determined by the size of the perforator.

This is what a touch phone means... The cat smelled him, took 3 pictures, sent 5 messages, and called the police.

On the occasion of the granting of the royal title to Urfin, a grand national celebration was appointed. Knowing that none of the inhabitants of the city and the surroundings will voluntarily appear on him, the chief commander and General Lan Pirot took their measures.

On the eve of the holiday, at night, when everyone was asleep, the dumbom went through the houses. They woke up the inhabitants and dragged the half-sleeping to the palace square. They could sleep there or stay awake as they wanted, but they could not leave.

And so, when Urphine in the luxurious royal mantle appeared on the balcony of the palace, he saw a huge crowd of people on the square. The fluid cries of “Ura!” — these were the cries of Urphin’s accomplices and the wooden soldiers.

Wire, crying suckers and other eyeglasses, with all the forces of the world from all the wide Russian pure soul I cursed you!!! Humorous website that has never broken (see. The p. 1) really cool jokes, embarrassed by their crap like a toilet in a public toilet! Burn in the hell, you wretched ones!! to

When I go shopping with my daughter, she chooses what to do, and begins to open the package, I always stop her...I say wait, first you need to give the aunt at the box office, it will pay, and then you will open. And this is the same "thete on the box" she perceives in one word. Suitable stretches the cashier his snacks and says aunt Nakassa give a pack))))

The husband has been hanging over the plate with dinner for half an hour, sitting in the screen of the monitor.
I (fifth time): Let’s eat, finally, or it’s all covered with ice.
Why do you prepare a cold dinner?

I stand in the hallway and explain to a friend where to find one of the 8 masks (Skyrim). The teacher heard. And Mary asks, are you for the Brothers Bury or the Emperors?
She said that so far for no one, or he believes that Talmore is only doing the best for Skyrim, will still fall on the exam...

"peugeot", "renult"... You are about "chrysler" still remember!

There was such a Soviet historian of Communism-Leninism Members. I remember coming to the library, I went into the shelves, and there was a whole regiment of members of members of members of members of members of members.

We sit, we eat, the background is the First Channel, the broadcast about lies. The easiest way to catch a man on a lie is to ask him if he is faithful to you. If a man answers, "Yes!" and at the same time shakes his head negatively, then he is a liar. Mom immediately asks Dad:
Are you faithful to me?
Father immediately:
and a-a! He shakes his head decisively.
Rushed three.

by 111
Oh, what, brothers, the torment
What a shit, a shit.
I write poems without meaning.
I have no brain.

by 111
"Vladimir Mayakovsky liked your comment" - I have never been so close to a heart attack

Relocations in the community:
We need to relocate you.
Me to my neighbor, or her to me?
J: I don’t care. You have a hole, it has a hole.

xxx help me

xxx installed windows 7 32 bits 2 times, but I still have 32 bits and I need 64

Nataly :
Lady of Egeia

The Light:
What hope?

Nataly :
two bottles of martini, 10 thousand hryvnia, a man with a big pitch and a trip to Gagra

The Light:
Let me tell you, Gaga?

If there is a bubble/bubble/bubble

Nataly :
The word is rugged and I have never been there.

Why are you so drunk and happy? And I am "SGGGR, fucking!"

The Light:
OOOOOOOOOOOOO! It is five)

Rita: I had a music teacher in the 1st class, she had strabismus. If we sit down and get angry, she will look at one of us so closely, and she will say, “Well, out of class!”
Everyone came out.
Valentine: What is it?
I was looking at who she was looking at :(