When I become an old woman, I will troll the youth. I’ll go out at 6 o’clock in the morning, take the public transport and go to the end, and then back!

You broke everything...
"I fell in love.... cared for a girl with all possible cute "nishties". He turned around just to like her. And here is her final answer: "You are too perfect!!! And I am simple, you know, simple".
Question: Do I not understand something in life? Or am I an idiot?(Response "Yes" is not accepted :-))"

Don’t go crazy! Just she doesn’t like you purely outwardly, but she didn’t want to give up the threads, so she’d mocked you for so long, and you’re too good – it’s just revenge.

From the online game forum:

XXX: So the situation is like this, I and my broom made a lock between the houses.
List Plise, what are the games for the network??? If possible with a description.

YYY: There is one, interesting and funny!!! to

"Who has whose computer will drag" is called.
In short, take the network cable and pull, wins the one - who has 2 comp will stay on hand!

One day my unhappy pet was injured. The doctor ordered to lubricate the wound with a gel, and on the neck of the cat to wear a "vronka". She initially behaved as usual when she was dressed in a collar: first passive resistance (falling on the side), then a reproachable look, then attempts to remove herself. The attempts were interrupted, so that the cousin sat sadly in his "voronke" and breathed. She also liked to show us how uncomfortable she was and what evildoers we were – showing how difficult it was for her to walk, building a pleasant mouthpiece, stumbling on crutches. He stumbles and stands, and looks insulted. Then I realized that we would not stop tormenting her, and started moving in the collar. The funniest thing was to watch her eat in this collar: by bending her head down, she completely covers the bowl with the collar and squeezes food in this "head shelter".)

Why did you buy coffee?
Tomorrow at 5 a.m. I will want two things: coffee and killing.
Yyy: and if I can’t kill, I’ll drink coffee.

I stand somewhere in the kiosk, I wait for my turn, a guy in a military shirt buys cigarettes, and without leaving the window unfolds a package, and I will not understand everything he bought or not, well, I ask:
Are you everything?
He is me:
So exactly! ?! to
Then it turns, pauses and...
I am a job!

The 3.5 year old son (C) is watching the cartoon, the next is just beginning:
C: Mom, about whom is it?
I: About the grey neck.
C: About whom?
I am (unfortunately) about the cloth that broke the wing.
Q: Who was broken?

Picture: "I came to the guy for a rehearsal - pretended to like"
The comment:
So I got married. :D

The story was remembered when in his youth in the early 1990s he worked at the bread mixer. The workers plundered bread for livestock food, and the director fought in vain with this phenomenon in every way.
And here somehow - at midnight, at the end of the evening shift, the aunts slapped the bags with puddles (a dozen fresh puddles enter the bag if they are splashed), and here suddenly the police bowl passing by includes flashes, a sirene for a few seconds, and then in the matyugalnik on the whole street announces: "City, don't P#ZDITE BLOOD!"

It was cold and we arrived at our IT department. Our Sisadmin printed empty leaves and heated their hands :D

The news says that scientists have excavated in the eternal frost a seed that has been laying for 31 thousand years, and it has grown and bloomed!
YYY: Didn’t you find the white there?

This is what he is, Android, mysterious. I began to figure out what process me so much battery eats. It turned out to be an indicator of battery charge.

I am tired, I want love.
When I wanted love, you wanted to play Mortal Kombat.

18:05 You are well. You can go home. A half hour ago I received a letter from the general, saying he would call in 10 minutes.

Transmission of the "fashioned sentence". Madame made her thirteen-size breasts to please Kirkorov. Commentary from the distant room: Would you fuck up the job in the hat!

You called something very obvious and you were called a cap, it turns out, the one who called you a cap is also a cap.
yyy: Captain Recursivity

Fossi: I wanted to wrap the unwrapped boxing bandage and remove it in the closet. I took it in my hands, thought about something... when I came to myself - the bandage was already completely on my hand, everything as it should be, even the lipstick is stuck))

My father was successful with many girls, but brought home the best.
How cute you are about your mom :)
XXX: What about Mom? She almost killed her father when she returned from work.

by Kiro:
I read the schedule of broadcasts of friendly football matches: "28th Bosnia and Herzegovina and Brazil..."
Would they all three play?

With Habr, discussions of professions in which alternative civil service can be undertaken:
X: I very much liked in the list of professions "elenevod"
“The Artist of the Doll Theatre” is also very good.
z: A technical support specialist can pass under both professions.