Don’t laugh at the bulls. Difficult with them.
One question: how to throw socks around the apartment? Or am I from another planet?

The man! If you’re still rubbing the crumbs behind you, twist your toothpaste or (it can’t be!!!!) If you drop the chair in the toilet, leave your coordinates. Can I show you my husband? Welcome to!!! to

The Russian wakes up in a room, there are no windows, the door is bulletproof. In the middle of the room is some device of screws, hexadecimals, circular saw and cup. Over all this shit is a telecome, and there is a doll from K/F Pila. I want to play a game with you. You must fill the cup with your blood by drinking off one of your body parts, the weight of the blood will activate the mechanism that will open the door. Russian: No question at all. He takes off his pants and puts him in a cup of soul.
YYY: The blood of the streets?
XXX: You ruined all the joke.

When I was asked if I had a conscience, I always answered that I had no conscience. The word “conscience” was associated with a large piece of fresh, bloody meat! And when I learned that the same meat (conscience) can be bought in an ordinary store, I began to pay for it. The parents were in a little shock from such a question from the child well and answered... rub. I did not quickly, on my fingers counted and sadly broke that I was missing... rub. I was immediately asked, why do I have meat at home? When I answered that I spit on my conscience, they roasted me for two weeks.
This is how I opened my conscience :)

Turn on the TV. There is a broadcast and the inscription "HELP" on the entire screen. First thought: Why the letter "G" in the word "NEGR" upstairs?" 0_o

He threatened the unlimited generation with his fist and whispered: “You have no modem!”

Article "Cursor delay of 32 milliseconds in Mac OS X" on the hub.

The negative sensations can be partially eliminated by changing the parameter of the cursor acceleration, or put on the Mac another operating system.

I remembered an anecdote.
Bringed Beria to Stalin an actor very similar to Stalin.
Stalin: I think he should be shot!
Could he just shave his beard?
Stalin: Well or so.

As a rule, when you can buy a expensive coffee machine, drinking coffee is no longer advised by doctors.

I hired a driver for the first time in my 40s.
He broke his back and unloading the cartons with the goods turned into a real pain.
The trade was good, the money was enough, and I called my friends to recommend some non-drinking, conscientious and calm person.
Soon I met the candidate.

He used to drive the Gazelle of some market trader, but recently he turned the business, and now Sasha worked as a guard on the parking lot, and was ready to move to me.

I told him that I would have to go to Moscow with the shipper for goods, loading and unloading, reviewing in the store the unworking toys and, if possible, repairing them, or sorting back to suppliers, preparing for sale children's bikes, and generally being in the store a master of all hands. Well, and the usual driving duties on it, somehow - to operate the car properly, and to do all the regulatory work in time.

The proposed salary arranged him, and he was ready to start working at least right now.
I learned whether he would cause his current employer to be dismissed suddenly, and said he was ready to wait until he was replaced in the parking lot.
He replied that there was no problem with this, and the next day brought me his papers.
Soon after, I met his employer.
He turned out to be my old friend.
Funny, but seriously, he said to me:
- Why do you, Viti, deceive foreign workers? Not good, not good... At least I would call, negotiate...
I was upset:
Serena, I am sorry for it. I talked to him on this topic. He said there was no problem...
Not good anyway. No problems really. But I had to call. Problems will be... You’ll have... With him... But I won’t tell you about them in advance. Don’t be afraid, he won’t steal. You will understand what I meant.

To Sasha, I showed the characteristics of managing the Carrier on which he was supposed to ride, I drove a passenger with him around the city, I benevolently controlled how he gathered his bicycles and forged his marriage, I suggested that for the ease of communication he would call me Nicholas and "you", and, despite my feeling of unexplained antipathy to him, I thought he would cope with the work and I would breathe freely.

The expeditor travelled with him Lena, my deputy.
I have appointed her director for a long time. Most of the everyday issues in the store and emerging problems was solved by her. She did the goods.

And here, not a week has passed since she spoke about the dismissal of this Sasha:
Nicholas, look for someone else. I cannot ride with him. You know – after you and I turned over on the “six”, I can’t tolerate a fast ride. It is a full brake! Here we are entering an unregulated crossroads. We have the main. Right and left stand - we are missed, in accordance with the Rules. And he stands up. He looks frightened on the sides, sweats, sneezes and does not touch from the spot. Behind the signals, from the sides blinking, he - stands. Then those who are standing on the secondary begin to touch, and he is now finally giving birth, and is also touching. They get scared, signal, and get up. He is too.
Or we go to the roof. He is always in the right line. He climbs into the fur, and goes after her. There are two lanes for movement in our direction, but to overtake someone is a deadly torment for him. Four is sixty, and he is sixty. Fura is forty, and it doesn’t stress him, so she goes...Nikolaic! He always has socks! And he, with the bullshit, constantly pulls them in! I am sick of him!

I objected to:
How do I get him now? He lost that job! Suffer - maybe the cold will pass him, and on the road he will master...
It is easy for you to speak! It is not you who tolerates it, but I.

For the weekend, I allowed Sasha to use a van to carry something to the country.
On Monday, he proudly demonstrated to me the linoleum with which he covered the faned floor in the van, fixing it on the perimeter with cuts every ten centimeters.
Very convenient when loading - a cardboard box with the goods put into the van, pushed it, and it runs along the slippery linoleum up to the front wall.

I upset him:
You are wasted! In the winter, you will bring snow to the body on your shoes, and on this floor you will fall here with cushions. And even after the rain with wet pads we will slip here dangerously.
No to Nicholas! is normal! I will not fall!
You will be. And I will! Take it!
I remember the saying that a helpful fool is more dangerous than an enemy.

A couple of days later, Lena called me from Moscow, and asked me to come on a Ford, to pick up the goods that do not fit in the Transporter.
has arrived.
Sasha said that he would go to Vostresensk to unload, and we would say that Lena and I would get the rest, pay, and go soon after him.
He, listening to me, somehow replaced himself, then dive into the room for clients, where we were served free tea in bags and coffee "three in one", quickly got out of there, got into the car and left.
Following him from this buffet, the employee jumped out, something outraged shouted him in the back, but he did not turn.
It turned out that he, entering there, grabbed a handful of Lipton’s bags, and put them in his pocket. He wanted to drink coffee, but she stopped him.

I then expressed my indignation:
- How do you not understand that this is not a hole from washing, but a catering! Do you behave like that in your guests?

Another week has passed.
An unpleasant conversation with Lena:
and Nicholas! I refuse to drive with him for goods. You are riding! Pay me less. I will only deal with the store and the goods in the store. I refuse to go to Moscow. It is impossible to spend several hours a day with him! He whispers his nose. I sit around all the time so that I don’t get knocked out. My neck is already hurt. You are sorry for him, but not for me. well well! Your right. But don’t regret him at my expense. You are going to shop for you!

For a number of reasons, my proposal did not satisfy me.

I called Sergey, the owner of the parking lot. After the exchange of greetings, we went to the main topic:
“Listen, will you take Sasha back as a guard?
and ha ha! Remember, you told me a joke about the diagnosis: "There are no mental abnormalities, just a fool!" This is what Sasha and I didn’t need. I endured him only out of pity, because he was poor. When you picked it up, I was really happy. So, I think, let Vitya now with this foolish bite! And share to you! You are not going to trick workers!
– Sirog, well I explained to you – I didn’t fool you! I spoke specifically with him about this issue.

In general, Sergei did not need this Sasha.

I asked Sasha to write a leave statement, paid him a monthly salary as a compensation, and we broke up without resentment. Very soon he found a job at the cargo Gazeli.
And I started throwing my hands through friends in search of a new driver, while being myself and the driver, and the carrier, and the broker, and the administrator.
The holy place is not empty, and soon I met the next applicant.
Lucia also came to me through acquaintances.
If Sasha was inhibited, then this, on the contrary, is very cowardly. Whatever I began to say or explain to him, he soon interrupted me to express his similar opinion and full agreement with me. It was a little annoying.
I naturally asked about his previous place of work and the reason for his dismissal.
It turned out that he was driving Gazelle of some entrepreneur, worked a lot and in good faith, but the goat-chief did not appreciate Loshina's effort, and paid clearly insufficiently.
In response, I said that he should never speak so about old employers in the presence of a new one.
“Because,” I added, “the first thing that comes to my mind is, ‘What will he say about me later?’
No, Nicholas, you are not like that.
You don’t know what I am, and I don’t know what you are. We both get confused.
Go to “Transporter”. I am driving. Showing - at what speeds to switch transmission, how to accelerate...
I drove out of the secondary road, and the BMW flashed my lights, skipping. I rushed to the main in front of him and blinked gratefully with the “accident”.
Leia asked surprised:
and Nicholas! Why did you send him to the shit?
to whom?! to
BMW this? After all, blinking with an accident means “going on the shit!” In Moscow it is always so – someone enters in front of you, and surely an accident then flashes – went on the shit!

When I heard this, I just stunned. Then he replied:
Who told you that?
Emergency in such cases flashes to thank or apologize!
Someone explained it to you in a joke. Did you always think you were being sent?

Here he is driving. Go to the main lighthouse. The cars are red and the pedestrians are green. Going out on the road in this place, I always first stop the car in a scourge, missing the pedestrians, after their passage I level the car and wait for the green.
I have eyes on my forehead:
What are you doing?! Miss them! The people on the lighting is green, they have a priority!

He did not understand my indignation.

He was constantly generating ideas.
and Nicholas! This is what I came up with – let’s clean up a box office. A place will be released in the store where the goods can be delivered.
What if the cashier needs to go to the toilet or eat?
The woman goes into her cabin and sits down.
If there is a shortage, whom should I ask?
Aaa...

and Nicholas! This is what I came up with – let’s hire a carrier!
–...
- Well, I will only be the driver, and the cargo loading and unloading - he.
To pay him from your salary? And if your salary is halved, will there be a worker for that money? Who is going to get married, you or he? Or will we still need to hire a broker? In other words, why do I need it? Isn’t it easier to find a trucker with a driver’s license, who will both drive and cargo, and marry, and the bulbs in the store to change if necessary, and the pads in the mixer too. After all, before you came, I was solely dealing with all this, and I was also dealing with administration.

and Nicholas! I’m not going to collect bicycles anymore. I have a friend. He is a retired man and lives in a village, seven kilometers away. The house is large, there is enough space. I’ll take him a box of bicycles and then take them ready.
Does he have an instrument?
I will bring him from here.
- And if there is a defect here, will the bicycle have to be taken to him to the village? What if there is an incomplete item in the box? Should all spare parts be taken in advance? And after every unexpected failure discovered will have to go to him? Well well well. How to pay him?
I will pay him my salary.

Compared to the previous job, the current salary seemed to him very decent. I agreed with him in the form of an experiment, but having paid off with my friend once, Lecha began to collect bicycles himself.

and Nicholas! The wheel descended. Where is the housecrack?
I showed you under your seat. The back is under the body. Do you know how to shoot wheels?
You are offended, boss.
After a while, I felt a slight anxiety and went out to check out how he was doing.
He managed to surprise me. Domkrat stood not in the specially designed place near the wheel arc, but in the middle of the threshold, sliding this threshold. The drivers will understand my feelings.
After that, I started looking for a replacement for him, but he still managed to make me a tempting offer:
and Nicholas! This is what I invented! Open another store! Somewhere in the center. Only then will I be the leader.

I asked Losh to write a statement “on my own...” and took Philip in his place.

I have nothing funny to say about him.
Just a good man.
She worked with me for four years.
I do not remember a single catch of him.
Resilient, correct, with a sense of self-worth and developed humor.
Not a talk, but happened, told interesting stories from life.
and competent. The interpretative.
I consulted with him on various issues, and then, when making a decision, I took his opinion into account.
He is one of those people I respect very much, and whose respect I value, if I deserve it.
He is fifteen years younger than me, but I did not feel any superiority in life wisdom or life experience.
A real man, husband and father.
He saw that the store was going down.
And it was no surprise for him that I admitted that in the near future it would be an unacceptable luxury for me to pay him a salary.
We have separated.

And it is sad.

The inscription “Don’t enter, it will kill!For the Russians, the word, "understood in all the languages of the world literally, means simply: "You are more careful there when you enter!“”

In the morning, standing at the stop, I heard a conversation between two women:

Why don’t you walk today? You have one stop.
I am not in a walking mood today.
Maybe a pedestrian?
The pedestrian! Don’t argue with me, I’m a philosopher.

) ) )

Review of "THQ: Tokio Hotel Quest"
- Please tell me, if I have already seen it, can I develop it somehow?

"...of the mountains"

Questions, blasphemies, excuses, stupid tricks!!!!!!!! to
They bite.
Russian language teacher Marfa Petrovna, 86 years old.

I am hungry!! to
Eat something.
Thanks for the advice, dear.
Am I Captain Evidence?
and AGA
I can still be Captain Ilogicity: sing a song about the borst.
and haha))
Or Captain Solidarity: I am the same.
Or Captain Indifference: I don’t care.
Captain Care: I’m going to work with you with the pot of borst.
Do not eat fast food, eat normal food.
Philosophy: Man is not full of bread, go to the opera

from news discussion "Google will recreate the Terminator Glasses" on 4pda:
The year 2100 has captured the world of machines, but one problem is still unresolved - terminators are quickly discharged due to the high probability of Android OS.

1: Listen, what is the direction of this Dubster in music?
So, go fuck it, fuck it.
Fuck me with your lost ones!I can cheat I want to talk to you, not queries to compose in the search engine!! to

They called from the bank about the application for a loan, and I was at the meeting and asked to call me back in an hour, which the girl at the end of the wire asked the question: "After an hour Moscow time?"

We talked about food, I just wanted it.

WOW: I am too. I'll go some swing now.

HHH: And to me too!

Do you put a rope on the balcony? :D

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Let the gamer do that. It is more comfortable :)

Oh yeah, he’s going somewhere again, until he comes home, around me the flies will fly.

No, not because I’m shit!

Oh, because I will die.

Sysadmin: we do a description of the equipment, and then we will collect the PC from it

Funny, I have a MacBook Air.

sysadmin: no problems, power based on the Pentium II and with the monitor Slavutich!! to

Do not laugh at your socks. Difficult with them

They have trouble with their socks...what’s wrong with them? A working algorithm:
He threw off all his socks. I went to the store, bought new socks, the same, ordinary, black, without drawings and all kinds of stuff. I bought it fucking. put in a box. A full box of socks. In the morning I took two pieces from there, dressed and walked. I took it off and threw it into the laundry. After a week, I washed everything and put it back into the box. When you see that there are little socks in the box, he went back to the store and bought it again. He slept there. All of it!! to
Some people are lost, some people are broken, everything is broken.
Live and rejoice.

What is Yandex in English?
Tagged: google