The password is somewhat stupid.
A couple of letters don’t enter that way, and it doesn’t let go.

Why don’t you go on a diet?
–...
Are you afraid to break?

Today the head of the department said:
I am the evil and terrible gray wolf, I know all about programmers.

Pehat: I want to go to the Lion King 3D. You will go?
Ulyanick: No, I was disappointed in it at all.
Ulyanick: On the 9gag first passed the picture that the cartoon is based on Hamlet.
Pehat: Weather...
Pehat: It turns out that Timon and Pumbaa are...
Rosenkranz and Gildenstern? O_O

Some believe that the world is ruled by love, others believe that the world is ruled by love.
The case.

in accessible form
A group of Russian tourists arrived from Moscow to Bangkok an hour ago. Two of the groups do not leave the border control zone. Others begin to be nervous and impatient. Due to the fact that the names are difficult to read, the group's guide, the Thai, asks one of the tourists to make an announcement on the radio in Russian. They both leave, and in 5 minutes the entire enormous airport, which is ten times larger than Sheremetyevo, sounds:
- Lords of Tariffs and Carriers, the group is waiting for you. If you do not appear at the exit in five minutes, good p**** are guaranteed to you. Thanks for attention.

Dear Google! Please stop acting like my girlfriend. Let me finish a proposal before giving me advice. thank you.

Tatty: Well, they have a house there on the south side.
Tatty: Even from the South North
Daria: With Which?? to
Tatty: from the south north
Daria... that doesn’t happen!! to
Tatty (facepalm)
Tatty: Does it mean nothing?? to
Daria: Well crazy...it’s like the East!! to
Tatty: What’s strange about that?
Tatty: Have you never heard of it? In the north, it always happens.
God, my moose
Daria: it just breaks it!!! to
Tatty: Yeah, you’re stupid that way.

We have a week of Greek cuisine.
Everything is very delicious, but the prices, shit, are like they want to help pay off Greece’s debt.

Yesterday I went to the park. In the middle of the square are a boy and a girl. The guy obviously tries to teach the girl to dance something like a valley. The girl obviously does nothing. Five minutes later, the girl said, “Send you with your hair, and take your candy, I’m generally accustomed to having my hands in my jackets always. And you go there!"
I now guess what kind of dances this lovely creature is doing :)

Once I came home late from work and found that I had a broken button on my pants. I took a thread, a needle, began to sew, meanwhile, all kinds of thoughts rushed into my head. I looked at myself from the side - well-paid work abroad, like I took place in life and as a person and as a specialist, only as a husband and father I never took place. And so a daughter, and preferably two, wanted to welcome me at home with joy and trembling expectation of a surprise, and that, after all this, from the side watched my beloved and my only one.
And so I became thirsty, I felt such hopelessness and emptiness around me, so I wanted to. Where are my 20 years?
I hate the buttons.

Alexey Gavrilovich, what about the project?
YYY: So far nothing.
XXX: What about it?
Yyy: Absolutely nothing :)

The midnight. In the windows of the apartments shimmer silhouettes of hungry people with guilt.

How do you paint these clouds? - Yes, the cat on the planets cries, I just turn around.

Shhas promoted a video where the girl praises the method of training of a guy. In the end, he swallowed her. Volume of legs, buttocks, biceps, etc. I was killed when he measured her waist. "The cattle of the sea". Damn, did he see the waist in the swallow?

And I have something new: in the military command asked to call the next to the cabinet, and the next name is Rorr, and I am a cardigan.

RT @nett00n Today’s youth doesn’t understand: “Mom, you will be calling now, don’t take the phone – we and Vala will play.”

@D0CT0EBCKNN: A real man sleeps in a bed full of bread crumbs not because he eats in it, but because Gretel has scattered them to get back there.

in a building forum.

user1: You can do it, of course, but not everyone can do it. For example, when I was a kid, I saw my uncle hanging our kitchen cabinets, making holes in the wall with the help of a hammer and a drill, then tapping into them wooden blocks and wrapping the screws with some ancient drill and hanging everything on the curved walls, "on the eye," visually straight. But I, just the next generation, can no longer even hang a soap machine without a perforator, a laser, a sorting machine, and only on a pre-wrapped wall... What requirements my son will have, I don’t even imagine.

user2: will tap on the keyboard - soap on the wall st=right of the washer, will press enter - the robot will come, will take the hammer, the drill.

Cat, will you be at work for a long time?
30 minutes and then I get off without strength.
Come with me a massage.
You made four mistakes in the word salad.