From the forum:
The rat in childhood was, first fell out of the window of the 5th floor, then she was squeezed by the couch.
Were they thrown into the hole?

Mothers in the store gave a delivery of almost 200 rubles - a few iron dozen.
A sister (5 years old) sits and overtakes them and condemns them.
"Gold, gold...gold and that’s all my money"

Dorian von Dix

Religion is a lottery: only those who sell tickets are lucky.

In the neighboring entrance of our house lived twins boys, although they were dressed differently, it was almost impossible to determine who is who. Sometimes watching the kids on the playground, and to pay tribute, the guys were not clumsy, for my own I was calm.
I noticed their father how comfortable they would be in life with such a striking resemblance. What he thoughtfully, after a long pause, said: It is still one hole, then each will be determined by his grandmother, they will calibrate each for themselves.
Years have passed, the last time I saw them as students, studied for economists. I came to my mother for a visit, and here in the courtyard of the crowns, the music played, we all went out to the courtyard, according to the custom to spend the last way to the deceased grandmother neighbor. May God allow everyone to live without illness for more than ninety years. My elderly neighbor was walking behind the grave, and his sons were walking around, one ambal under a hundred kilograms, cutting the seed in his shoulders, next to the same beautifully beaten woman, such as they say - blood with milk. And on the other hand, another son, the prototype of Yuri Nikolaev, a dried, squeezed teenager and next to him the same dried, squeezed wife.
I crossed my forehead and lowered my head so that no one would notice my ridiculous expression of the face, and a thought sounded in my head - THE CALIBRATION!
Each under itself.

During the opera, a mouse ran out on the stage in front of a female choir. Two thousand fans of the opera.

From Habr:
There is a thought that all these anti-piracy companies on closing file storage and action against trackers (torrents.tu / ex.ua / thepiratebay) are sponsored by disk sellers from Gorubska.

Aulzen: it is already long as the assembly to work goes fucking half-Moscow is closed! Waiting to fuck.

So, but it wasn’t like that with the Lush.

Sapienti: Yuri Mikhailovich, who are you lying to?

I think a great test for all alpha males is the lesbian seduction.

My wife and I are sitting in the same room, and her neighbor is washing in the other. The further dialogue:
Is it true that pigs are pure?
It is true, Karen. The Moses.

She: translate to me this: "yes, godess"
Yes, the goddess
How is it translated? how is it translated?

We have a heater at work that works in the following modes: cold, hot, very hot, hot and burned plastic mode

Meanwhile, my wedding is scheduled for autumn. Don't forget that you promised to scream at her "Who else fucked the bride here?and "
Yyy: Your spouse will not approve.
XXX is nothing. I will try to pick up a contingent of guests so that not so many people respond :D

Inna: I read an interesting book on psychology... There by age, kind of occupation (with a detailed description of the kind of occupation!) The content of the refrigerator.You can say a lot about a man! Nobody wants to try?
Inna: Only then be sure to tell if the resume is consistent with you or not.
CraftMaster: Well okay. They went. I am 31 years old, I am a programmer (mainly SUBD, such as FoxPro, Access, SQL, but sometimes Delphi, C++, MMB, php, pearl, REXX (one of the programming environments under Java), well, and all the similar hemorrhoids).
CraftMaster: In the refrigerator, for five seconds I look
CraftMaster: A bottle of vodka, 8 bottles of beer, a pack of peelings, 5 chicken eggs and an apple bite (later thrown out).
Inna: for a moment...
Inna: Eye fucking, there is nothing near here that would fit under this description.
Inna: You do not have a clear belonging to science-known psychotypes

XXX: What is the weather?
yyy: frozen eggs

I look at the Institute’s announcement board on upcoming dissertations.
The applicant: the name of Kationov, I automatically translate the look to the name of the opponent and.... shit... exactly... ANIONOV

I started a company with a friend. Employment of girls managers. We hold a meeting: is it so heroic sales go? The girls begin to justify themselves: the internet is stupid, the phone is badly ringing... A friend replied in a good way with a joke: “In the public house, customers stopped walking.Already new beds were put, and wallpapers were glued, the interior was changed...We went to the sage. He thought and said:
You don’t have to change your bed, you need to change your bed.

If you already pronounce 'Java' as 'Java' then please say not 'Jazz', but 'Jazz'.

A few weeks ago, I met a very beautiful and cute girl. Today I went to the cinema, and I finally overcame the natural modesty, used to tick... Blind, guys, only today, when I went home after the movie (yes, so far :) ) understood what it means to really return in an elevated mood. :D
and SK

>> Or Volan-de-Mort, crystals, the sword of Gryffindor - Russian fairy tales should be read!

The Sword! The sword of Icarus!! to

A brief classification of the “evil” passengers of the 6 substantial transport.

"Vonjuka" (o6equinous) - a strongly smelly passenger, o6equinously: women - because of over 6 hours with perfume, men - as a result of over-hygiene.
There are subjects:
“After yesterday”
The Bomb;
"Cinderella" (sub-species - "Cinderella smoking" - when smoking at a stop and seeing when the transport, the smoker tries to have time to suck the remains of the cigarette, and the smoke is already slowly evaporating, being in the cabin.)

"Guardian" - a passenger who stands up in the doorway and does not want to pass inside not to let others at the stop.

"Spider-Man" - clings to the armor with two wide-spaced hands - the top of the skill to cling to the armor on different sides of the cabin.

"Mohnatka" - more often women, the owners of luxurious hairstyles, mocked hats, caps and pumpkins - inevitably climbing you in the face, nose, eyes.

“Gor6un” is not removing the backpack.

"Disturbing" - men wishing to isolate the presence of the 6th greatest dignity, although rather, the 6th wearing fisting strings, the 6th suffering from ovulation from spermotoxicose - sit so widely stretching their legs that there is no room on a double seat, and the knees are torn to the floor of the passage.

Be courteous to each other.