I was in the military... There was an army test. The woman who took the test expressed all of our weakness in one sentence: "Please answer correctly, if you answer wrong, I will have to correct your answers."

I get my husband to work in the morning. Nothing at all. I crawl under the blanket, I press, I feel - stands! I say "Here he is a good guy! He stood up." And my husband did not open his eyes:"I am also a good man – he stood up!";;

XX: Printing with one hand
YYY: And the other where?
XXX: Watching the movie

Yes is. Apples on the oaks do not grow, and the room has 26 legs (2 own, plus 5 begemots and 4 in the giraffe. Everything else is legs.The bed doesn’t count – she has legs, not legs!) Fuck to fuck.

Put the plus who got this giraffe nonsense in contact!

News that the center of training of astronauts begins the competition for the selection of astronauts 2012, the comment pleased:

Only those who know how to swim.

Call and IT for internet speed consultation.
Allo is! Hi to! Can I know whom to hit in the face to increase my download speed?
Hi to you! Strike to Michael Jackson!
He is dead. o_o
Then blame...

It was in Turkey. We went to rest with a group of friends, there was one such, Denis - a caretaker. My wife and I were on the floor. So I get out of the soul, wrapped my body walking poorly with a towel, not yet dry, so. I say to a friend, I will go to Denis with my wife. I went down on the elevator, sparked a few words, and when I went out, this devil pulled the towel from me and clogged the door. It does not break, it smells. Well, I think, I go to the elevator... In the elevator was a man four or three girls of 20 years and a man of sixty years - all Russians - were silent. I approach our number, I knock – silence! I still knock – silence!
Here go through the corridor three grandmothers - years sixty with a hook....from the strangle, what makes the hooker! I fell down, I removed my palms from the perineum, I followed with one hand on my hair, and the other on my chest, and with a thin voice I said, "Ladies, leisure! It is cheap! Grandmothers quickly washed up the stairs...There appears my friend – down to the reception was walking...The grandmother of these I then saw more than once – everyone touched me.

Why vegans don’t eat meat
According to the UN law, you can’t eat creatures whose IQ is higher than yours.

Q: Why are you depicted as a dark man?
This is Voldemort.
A: He is cool.
X: Yes, but somehow it’s not very pleasant to see him as a sister.

Where to buy a pager in 2011? So I would work.
Answer: In order to work, you will still have to buy a paging company.

Commentary on the film "The Stone":

Dolly is mad.

At seven o’clock in the morning, Jehovah’s Witnesses came to my door. Sarcastically telling them that without morning coffee and croissants I would not perceive the high and divine, I shut the door. They got back in half an hour! With tea and biscuits!

Tolerance is great. Sometimes it’s good to get away from the heart.

kr1vch_@v is a shit. I ordered a prostitute yesterday, and she took me off.
I sit at home now.
kr1vch_@v: Oh, not to you)))

Mary Remember
Mary: The worst thing is not to see the three-digit number on the scales
To hear their cries under their feet.
Mary :' (

She: I can't find a rubber
My sister has the same problem.
It’s like men’s socks.

from ZH
xxx:The 1890 text "The Eye Diseases of Negroes" begins with the phrase "There is nothing interesting or remarkable in the eyes of a Negro."
The cause of the eyes of the Jew is in the eyes of all the sorrow of the Jewish people. This eye disease can be cured.

xxx: how to determine that the posted program or site is a fake, used by scammers? Read the comments. If all the reviews are good, then it is clear. Because in any situation there is someone who doesn’t work!

On the official Russian-language forum of the popular service of distribution of games, sits some Alarik - an employee of the company, Americos learned the Russian language. Sometimes he gives out something funny.

Regarding Google’s update of its agreement:

"Nothing terrible, just another panic after the old news. In the same way, every few years, suddenly it turns out that the Sun emits radiation. Everyone screams, wears lead hats, science professors perform on television. Then everything begins to calm down, but suddenly it turns out that lead is toxic..."

I bought my father’s notebook, and now I work with him on Google. I asked what Google is. When I said, “Ask Google,” he said, “Here’s what I’m asking,” in my opinion, he’s just trolling me.