The flight is over. I found my husband’s open beer at the table, turned it over and while I ran out with a cloth, everything was dry.

This is:
Tamias: When I speed up to 120 km / h in the car, in the cabin from the passenger side begins to smell shit. What could it be? There is no one in the room besides me. The option "you have Phoenix got rid of" do not offer.

Change the oil in the box. If recently there was a repair, then someone joked, throwing the shit into the box. An old driver trick.

HH: Well, I’m working for myself. I am my own boss and subordinate. The subordinate wants to rest, and the boss wants to walk. In short, schizophrenia in all its glory!

Dialogue at work. Me and my colleague (K):
I am listening to the roots.
Q: Who is Who?
and the roots.
Q: What is what?
The roots!
(K): Oh oh oh oh!! to
“Korn, bl*t thou art!
A: Aha aha! I thought I was completely canceled.

© by

This is:
What is the name of the manager? has her
The mail was like her name, she needed it.
to write.
The rabbit Olya.
Is she married like she is now?
Now like Mironova, but you’re serious.
You think girls are also changing emails.
When are they married?

You won’t believe me 😉

Yesterday I opened the receipt from the water channel, and I realized that all September the rain was watering out of my crane.

This is the time when the quote about the dog easily outweighs the rating of any humour. = is

xxx: I can’t imagine that a computer can replace a person driving, a few examples:
1st Suddenly a dog jumped out on the road, we don't have time to slow down, hit the dog or suddenly drive off the road, but with injuries to people in the car? What if it was not a dog but a child? An experienced driver will shoot the dog, but will not shoot the child. How the computer will make the right decision in this situation I cannot imagine.

Urban dogs have already learned to cross roads on pedestrian crossings and use lighting lanterns.
Maybe then, finally, people will also learn to cross the road where they can, not where they want?

Girls, remind me the recipe for shrimp, starts with the words:
Take the sperm of a loved one.

I work as an engineer - a programmer at college... How it turned out that there is no difference between a programmer and a system administrator here... I endured a lot in the first month of work, but when I was called to the director on the carpet and asked when they would finally give heating... I couldn’t stand...

I grew up in a family of programmers.
Who is a programmer in your family?
XXX: I

While the Lemmings sent SMSs during the Orthodox marathon, they canceled the accumulative part of the pension and froze the salaries of budgeters. At this rate, Malakhov will personally form a monthly pension fund. No need for government, only zombies and ORT 24 hours a day!

to this:
The boss from vacation calls: I am here on the boat - they have a wifi here. Can you tell me my password to log in? Oh, admin, you must know.

A year ago, we were told that the gentleman could not call from Tel Aviv to Italy to his chairman (tourist chairman) and, of course, whoever, like us, had to urgently fix everything...

Even when serving in the army had to lie in a hospital, in the same chamber with the major in retirement. Major was a smoker, and, which actually destroyed all my stereotypes about the harsh representatives of such a high rank, smoked KISS cigarettes (so thin, in a pink pack of flowers). Having noticed our astonished eyes, he told us this story about it (further from his words): "I met my wife in the first grade, and we grew up together. It was, so to speak, in our courtyard. In the fifth grade, we, according to curious little hooligans, started smoking cigarettes. The idiot taught her. Who knew she would be my wife? The time went. They got married and raised their daughter. The wife stopped smoking many times and started again, but the daughter did not know about her mother's bad habit. And now, as an adult girl, I found my mom’s KISS package at home. After that, she naturally approached us and said, “Mom, do you smoke?” I had to say that was mine. Three years have passed and I smoke them all".

to this:
Girls, remind me the recipe for shrimp, starts with the words:
Take the sperm of a loved one.

Take it regularly and that’s all.

From the discussion under the photo news: in Rostov on the Don in the middle of the day, in the very center of the city, unknown people removed all the doors of the Porsche Panamera left unattended and literally crushed the accidental car.

In the photo, the car lacks all the doors, the seats were pulled out of the cabin and everything that was badly twisted.

The best comment:
"Minimum amount of equipment"

I was at a restaurant today.
XHH: Upstairs played relaxing melodies
First time not on New Year saw a man falling asleep with his face in a salad

xxx: I today with the help of Kirill (son 1 year) passed the exam for four.
I need to take him with me to the diploma.
YYY: Dear Commission, this is my development.
yyy: The development process I will not illuminate
YYY: but the result you can evaluate.
YYY: Advanced Intelligence
YYY: We are working on speech functions

ZZZ: When ordering engagement rings for the amount of 50,000 rubles – certificate on the golden cross for your baby as a gift!
ZZZ: Let you go to @uji!! to
ZZZ: for 50k I will buy an entire child in Romania
ZZZ: Together with the Cross

About "Posted on the SMS... "
I have been calling for six months with a record of a dog that has the remains of fried pigeons. There, the bones are small, crumbling so that in the dark is scary, and the dogs are still choking silly. At first I put off the bricks. At work, customers, unusual, jump. The colleagues argue about who will react, because the real sable-toothed tiger has broken into the cave and eats neighbors.