— the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!

[ + 88 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №40984
Dear girls, if you decided that a young man is too good for you, such a hysterical and fucks, then try to clarify with him before the holidays! It will be easier for you and we will save on the gift!
Suddenly a lonely guy abandoned on December 30.

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №40983
My mother asked me to clean up at home.
I hinted that today I was going to go for a visit and in general, the New Year, the forerunner, like no one.
Now I am cleaning up in pink rabbit ears.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №40982
I hate public transportation. As long as the bus was waiting, it was time to tremble at the stop (

[ + 77 - ] Comment quote №40981
Ne1my: Nothing you regret so much as a just cleaned seedling that fell out of your hands.

[ + 127 - ] Comment quote №40980
My brother told me. Halturite on NG by Santa Claus. They come to the address, a boy aged 6-7, in a strict business suit, on the face of a bear mask.
Santa: Who is here? Boy or mouse?
Behind the back of parents.
A boy with an absolutely serious expression of the face: I AM THE PRESIDENT!

[ + 88 - ] Comment quote №40979
When I am tired of sitting at the computer, I lie down on the couch and open the netbook.

[ + 100 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №40978
With the coming! Enormous happiness, mutual love and let your cats not get sick :)

[ + 80 - ] Comment quote №40977
The case was in the winter.He worked somehow as a security guard in one pebble establishment,which closed around 23.00.He always had time on the last bus,and the house was about 00.00 at night.Exit the bus passed by the store store,and over the entrance to the store hanged square hours (big ones),wrapping time was convenient.His clocks "covered"-thus oriented,always passed by the store-in hours-without ten-twelve.He worked about 3 months-released.After half a year came to a meeting with the notorious store,looked up-and stumbled a minute for ten:wrapped not a hour,NASYARYOVANNI OVOLUMNI PESKUBBODY WRATNA RAMI have tested it for a few months!!Here’s the sand clock, in the sun, and here’s...Nate to you, in the flat.

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №40976
From the Sevastopol Forum:
begemott: yes, since childhood I remember - "Moscow time is 15 hours... in Petropavlovsk-Kamchatsk - midnight " and the first drink of the baton went...

[ + 79 - ] Comment quote №40975
Psychology and pedagogy.
Subject: "Fill out the listings. Whoever writes Crazy and Padd I will not make an account!"

[ + 89 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №40974
The pirates are all out.
What are they doing?
xxx: today was the premiere of three heroes and the shamahan queen, and the trackers have not yet been posted

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №40973
The burning community
Question: Ment asks to blow. How to ask for mint?
Answer: Say that you have already smoked and don’t want to.

[ + 87 - ] Comment quote №40972
He examined the old diaries, among other plans and tasks found a modest record: "Learn to walk on the water." I’m in a slight shock, one thing is clear – we’re getting smaller with age, gentlemen!

[ + 133 - ] [7 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №40971
Just fucking, my former match at the request to give my cat to my mother (I have an allergy), replied that the cat with him 10 years and I only one and a half months, and we split up.

[ + 81 - ] Comment quote №40970
Hello, you are not busy?
Yyy: Hi no.
It’s free for you 😉
Oh yeah, I didn’t plan...

[ + 95 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №40969
Neighbors are fighting. More of a neighbor. Although not for nothing - the neighbor is smart, economical and kind little. Very good kind. I hear the sound of the opened door:
I hate you, goat, I hate you!
And a ticking of heels, suppressing the stream of reproaches.
I wait for the cotton of the entrance door, I go out, I am going to knock, but the neighbor is ahead of me, opens the door and parodizes the Odessa accent:
Do you want to ask "the show"?
And so yes.
She decided to lose weight. Strictly from today. And I was not notified and prepared dinner for as usual. Look how it went out!
P.S The neighbor had time to put on a T-shirt "Cowboy, goat, ruined the best years of life".

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №40968
We have one man at work, he eats one kiwi every day. But the chip is not that. Before that, he shaves the kiwi with office scissors and eats it with skin.

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №40967
I: I finally posted the photos)what hindered before?)
Kisa^: There was no photoshop

[ + 86 - ] Comment quote №40966
I go to the store and look at the prices. Not in vain. Price "Toilet Paper B/U" I asked the consultant how to understand. Answer "Big Packaging"

[ + 89 - ] Comment quote №40965
I will only have a smiley.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna