— the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №122515
Scientific Associate
by 6900r
I don’t know where to put the money.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №122514
Why did you decide to remove World of Warships?

V Other: Need for a quest for a profession in real life

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №122513
All with celebration! From December we raised the salary, then came with a check, found small pieces and took the prize. But the boss will have a prize for saving money. Good New Year, my bosses! Let’s get champagne!

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №122512
My aunt called and said that she sent on the 29th: guests, salads and salads. She lives 5000 km from us. sent by train. Guess who goes on the 1st to meet the train arriving at 5 a.m.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №122511
Theme in the forum:

I need someone who is skilled in creating websites.
very very very. I want my website to be on January 1.
I also need another site, I think it is possible to make the chips to the site that I want.
If you have any, write in the Ls.
thank you.

XXX: I need someone who is skilled in creating games.
very very very. I want my game to be on January 1.
I also want to do another game, I think it is possible to realize all the chips I want.
If you have any, write in the Ls.
thank you.

YYY: I need a woman who is skilled in childbirth.
very very very. I want my child to be 1 January.
I also need another child, I think it is possible to make chips for the first one I want.
If you have any, write in the Ls.
thank you.

ZZZ: I need someone who is skilled in apocalypse.
very very very. I want the world to end on January 1.
I also want to make another end of the world, I think it is possible to realize all the chips I want.
If you have any, write in the Ls.
thank you.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №122510
Why is believing in a perun now considered debility, and in a bearded man is possible?
WOW: Everyone in one way or another believes in bearded men
Marx, Engels and Dr. Freud
The ZZ Top?
You are going to cut))

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №122509
I asked myself: Can I be proud of my loyalty to my husband if I am fat, depressed, living in the woods and no one offers me anything? c) Masha Rusova
WOW : Of course. In the forest, in the bath, in the house of Domova. So many temptations.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №122508
XXX: The Blue
xxx on the radio
xxx: "Black moon in the financial house of Russia"
yyy: a stone bottom, stone bottom

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №122507
My dad is a terrible sweetheart and before each New Year he angered his mom by eating all the candy from the tree. The carefully hanging packaging no longer worked, my mother quickly detected them and gave them stars.

In the next week before New Year's Eve, candy from the tree did not disappear and no spots were found on the touch. As you can see, there was a crap. Dad decided that it is better to chew once in full than 10 times in full too. Therefore, eating a candy, in an empty piece of paper he squeezed a piece of black bread, cut in the shape of a candy, and delayed the receipt of stars from his mother. The stars were noble, but this is a different story.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №122506
From the New Year’s Party:

Please buy yourself another dress! Net will be uncomfortable for me. and ;)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №122505
On one of the non-profile subjects at the first lecture, I remember, an elderly faint preacher ran into the house and immediately said: "I can tell you in two ways: either I will hate you, or you will hate me. What do you choose?"
The group was in a deep stupor. Prepod struck us and left! But, judging by the fact that neither the subsequent lectures nor the accounts of problems arose at all, the teaching of us mentally burned in all the boilers of hell.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №122504
Ekaterinburg, Federal University, Assistant + MS, Ph.D., 1-2 publications in world foreign journals per year, 3 won grants for support. Average total of 18,000. Where is my Porsche? You can work as a mercenaire in Aasan, there is no degree requested.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №122503
I write about myself: 27 years old, a scientist, married, a daughter, I live with my parents, essentially on a joke, like in an anecdote, that the parent is bad, that the child cannot retire, is guilty of having entered a graduate school, I hope to get a candidate, but in a year or two, apparently, I will have to break up with the dream. So don’t ask why science lags behind and why young people don’t want to go into it.

At 27 years old, sitting on the neck of parents is unusual. With the funding of science, everything is really bad, but in your situation it is clearly not just that. I am also 27, a girl, I am studying in postgraduate school and paralelly choking. Somehow you get to combine a normal income with work on a dissertation, conferences, competitions, grants, etc. I am tired, there is no time for rest - but this is my choice. I can’t imagine how this is possible – to fold the legs and throw: provide a great scientist until retirement, dear parents. To regret yourself, of course, is easier than to smell.
And in my opinion, it is very strange to have a child, knowing in advance that you will not be able to provide it and transfer the care of providing it to your parents in advance.
All familiar postgraduate students work, and young university teachers or research staff, if the salary is small, almost always have jobs. There would be desire.
"Dependency", by the way, is written through "and", fellow scientist.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №122502
From the dialogue:
What kind of "French bed" do I have in my room?
- I think it's that bed that sows gently in the intermatrasse and on the ear so... quietly... noooo, riyadhuryayan... noooo... jono greyadhuryayan...

[ + 39 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №122501
The glass is half empty if you drink from it; half full if you pour half.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №122500
Batya is fascinated by aquariums, but not fish, but all kinds of shrimp, shrimp and other exotics. It breeds, crosses, chemizes with offspring in every way. Everyone dreamed of getting an albino, specifically there they arranged incest to increase the likelihood. And this is the happy day when it all worked out. Batya, happy, with a glass of whistleblower, blows off near a stand with aquariums and cries on the way of the Queen:

WOW, WOW is the cancer!! to
WOW, WOW is the cancer!! to

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №122499
"You better drive as you go. I will decide for myself, ah?"
No is. According to the rules of the road, the driver is obliged to stop if this is an undefined body like you approached the transit. Because of you, the outrageous "polite" others are wasting their time. Hopefully one of the drivers will come out and fill your stupid fuck.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №122498
Why do people read Donzov?
YYY: Memory with zero

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №122497
Gyrland then I will buy myself a new one tomorrow, but here is the warehouse - I will explode to the cockroaches, you will still find nothing.

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №122496
The router. Distribution of one craft compilation of Linux Mint.
<GREK8909>A few months ago installed a friend of your assembly (in the guests was also accidentally with a flash with your assembly), so she is still happy that her system is not braking and forgot about viruses, I am a direct programmer for her. True I have since forced to install Linux to drunk little acquainted girls, Linux although protected from viruses, but I do not have a "antivirus" protection did not take...

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