bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №114657
 10.06.2015
Full people I always say "A good person should be a lot".
And if a man is a lot, but he is not good, what do you say?
You need to eat less!

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №114656
 10.06.2015
I am 25, I am a full-length blonde 165/63, I cook deliciously, an economist, I like to breed flowers and sewing, I am interested in psychology, I dress modestly and not expensive, I do not go to clubs. the virginity. I’m not proud of it, I just write facts. Boys, when you say that there are no normal babies left, you just don’t look at us, the faint, the full, the housewives. We have and want relationships.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №114655
 10.06.2015
I am normal. And you probably don’t, if you joke about how your man looks. I am not surprised in principle. I’ve seen a lot of times such a loose fifa. Next to her, the man is all squeezed. Isn’t it embarrassing to walk around like this?
— — —
Not going with him now? Or take a pen and lead to the hairdresser, and if it resists - a duck on the head and a fist. And in the evening to attach to the battery in the bathroom and wash. They buy clothes to their taste. Do not want to wear - throw out the rest, tea, naked will not go. This is class! Any man will be pleased with such care!

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114654
 10.06.2015
YYY: Mish, how did you and Marinka realize that you’re going to have a baby?
xx: Okay, once in our regiment of young parents arrived.
She did a pregnancy test and it was positive. worried, a tumor there or hormones, in the morning running to the doctor.
We had no sex for a month. The face is pale than the ceiling. The cat is silent, I pretend to whom how much to take for treatment. I was silent for 10 minutes, and then quietly like this: "Dear, I'm a little pregnant, 5 months of all... and in a minute, without a shadow of a smile, "Remember I ate all your mother's snacks? Not because it is delicious. Remember I got poisoned? It was toxic. Remember I painted the wall? These are mood swings. You know..."
X: Yes, before 5 months we had no assumptions. And if her mother-in-law did not give the test for the wedding anniversary, they could also find out at birth.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №114653
 10.06.2015
XX: Mill technology
xx: On my Android, the energy saving program thought it consumed a lot of battery and turned off itself.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №114652
 10.06.2015
XXX: Today the salary falls on the card
Yyy: very accurate expression about our ZP

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №114651
 10.06.2015
XX: My sisters and I had a truck, racing machines and a stunning machine, almost like a real one, that did a remarkable "tra-ta-ta", the object of envy of all the boys around. Our father was not noticed in the son's desire, but the toys were needed, apparently. We had a lot of dolls and we played with them. The guests were wearing the machine.
U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U U It’s a normal toy and the kids will play too.
ZZZ: My husband found an old tractor in the wool before our wedding, 22 years ago. Play no time, but a garage for the tractor built, in the hope of playing for retirement.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №114650
 10.06.2015
I think I should make another tea or drink a martini right away?
WOW: In my opinion, if you ask this question, it’s not even worth the question!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №114649
 10.06.2015
A long-haired wife, a furry cat... I know exactly what Chubakki’s bathroom looks like.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №114648
 10.06.2015
by 17478
We don’t wear, we catch.
_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Have you used to read a site called "The Debt", where the send button is called "to cry out", but were not ready for the fact that people there melt the excess of negativity and even - to debt the fact that everyone is debt? Do you often go to the bathroom to get upset that people dare to walk naked?

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №114647
 10.06.2015
Once I worked in a department where of the six people there were four Thani, and one Thani could not be by definition, as he was a boy. And, what is typical, I (Helena by passport) was also called Tania, because it was not easy to get out and differ from the majority!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №114646
 10.06.2015
A typical response on the forum of programmers
Younger, before asking, would first read 300 pages of technical documentation. On 178 pages in Latin everything is clearly written"

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114645
 10.06.2015
It is my fault that two alkas Vasya and Petya have never had the time to improve their qualifications and go to work seriously.
--------
No, it is not your fault that Vasya and Petya became alkas after the city-forming enterprise closed / the colloquium broke and so on. You are just lucky to be born at the right time, in the right place, with the right abilities. Me too. But I, unlike you, never consider myself better than Vasili/Peti. I am lucky, they are not.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №114644
 10.06.2015
The Heroes 3. The trolls and vampires fought. After 20 minutes of fighting, the sew had to be loaded.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №114643
 10.06.2015
I join :
here here :
I guessed the desire that the PDD would be allowed to shoot down cyclists going through a pedestrian crossing without descending from the great ones.
— — —
Immediately after the law allowed to shoot on drivers who do not pass pedestrians on these same crossings.
— — —
I support both proposals at the same time.
Do we wish our lawmakers? The driver, if any.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №114642
 10.06.2015
All on Tuesday. The Loser of the Year Award is awarded to the former guard of the place where I work. They were all fired and replaced by guards. So he put out the window in one of the cabinets at night and pulled out the notebook and camera. The funniest thing about this story is that yesterday evening the new cameras were installed, and he rotated under one of them for half an hour.
He knew where all 30 cameras were, he knew that there was no alarm on the windows in this office. He would have gone a day earlier and no one would ever find him. He is a normal man, sorry for him.
--------
Dada, swear - sad of him, well, a normal man, only a thief, with whom does not happen?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №114641
 10.06.2015
A 66-year-old Indian has three wives.
He married only two of them.
There is always water in the house for drinking and cooking.
“I needed someone to bring us water from a distant well.
The only way out was to get married again. My first wife took care of children.
When the second wife got sick and couldn’t bring water, I married the third.”

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №114640
 10.06.2015
Tafofilka: I was refused my job today because I said I didn’t like pop music. I thought I was upset, and then I felt somewhat relieved. Glad they didn’t take it.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №114639
 10.06.2015
(Discussions about the superheroes)

And our viewer can’t take the culmination scene seriously with the reverse count, when there are 10 seconds before the apocalypse... 9... 8... and so on, and the hero saves the world 2 seconds before. Because in our reality (and mentality) the deadline is located not on the back, but along, it is not a moment, it is a process ))) And generally in our understanding the hero begins to act and save after the apocalypse, so more interesting

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №114638
 10.06.2015
Do you want me to download a video from the surveillance camera in our morge?
You are a paranoid. Do you have a camera in your morse?
You can’t imagine what happens there sometimes. The Camel Club. Recently, students organized a practice on medical cynicism. They came in the crowd, picked the jura by the blind draw method, grabbed a wreath on his foot with the inscription "From the Pizduchin brother" and stood around for a long time with sad roots. Judging by the movement of the lips, they spoke felt sad speeches about how remarkable brother the deceased was. Particularly delivered the moment, when at the end of the mourning ceremony, they still decided to move the curtain from the head of the deceased brother, and the brother turned out to be a tall, lean grandmother of 73 years. And here, in general, a treasure began, which our morge has not seen since the day of the foundation of the hospital. Pizzuel, of course, students will scratch out the excellent, but the video turned out to be worthy of an Oscar. The director is the life itself, in the main roles - the jure and our future squalops, who do not have their place in the medical, but in the theatrical. They have mastered cynicism, but medicine is theirs. The fucks.

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