Spartak Michulin received from Dosaaf a valuable gift - a gold clock. I went to the restaurant of the House of Cinema, and there, behind the corner table, Alexander Pankratov-Black...

My brother, I got a gift. The golden clock.

It cannot be! Show me...

Here you look.

Are they all gold?

and Absolutely.

A second shooter?

And she too! Michelin answered with pride.

– Listen, – suddenly proposed Pankratov-Black, – and let’s drink it, do you need it?

My first car was the gorgeous Zaporozhets, I loved it.

Zaporozhye had a bad character and already a non-young battery.

So in the winter, I took it every night and carried it home in the heat to recharge.

Once I stumbled on the stairs between the second and third floors, the battery fell and broke.

Sulfuric acid flows to the stone floor.

In such moments, you think very quickly.

And most often wrong.

Especially interfering with the lonely five chemistry students in school.

I went home with two packs of soda.

It was a volcano in miniature.

The reagents interacted and the pH went rapidly to 7.

It is still in this place in the stairs of deepening.

And the guests of the house think that these are signs of time, because the house is really old.

I met Mary on her birthday. I immediately attracted her attention because she is a very beautiful girl. Although not so, she is very beautiful. At the first communication she showed herself quite well: she did not say nonsense, was too modest.



I spent the whole night with a girl. We exchanged phone numbers. Everything was cool.



The fun started the next day when we met in a cafe. I was a little surprised that every dish the girl photographed before eating. A little later, I realized that she had put it all on Instagram.



I also photographed a bouquet of roses. Probably, he lives on the principle: "not stuck - there was not." I was first photographed once. I waited for the reaction of the subscribers. Then I started taking general photos. It polished me. No matter where you go, there is a selfie everywhere. He’s constantly putting something in his smartphone. I tell her something or answer, and she cries. It became angry.



On the second date, she almost always disappeared in the smartphone. To be honest, it turned out to be crazy. I asked her to remove Device for a while, so that they could communicate like ordinary people. She put off the smartphone for a while, and then everything again.



The same thing happened on the third date. I even signed it on Instagram. And you know... before the beginning of the tape I could not twist: the toilet selfies, then in the office, then during lunch, then before going to bed, then near the bench, then behind the tree tree...



I asked her at the next meeting not to get the phone to give time to each other, not to the subscribers. I look at her and she’s frightened. All psychic became. That night everything was wrong with her: they get annoyed, it’s not that, it’s not that.



This was our last meeting. And everything she thinks of me I read in her profile tonight, and all the 2,400 followers too. stupidity of some sort.

A review of the vibrator on Ali: "Looks good. After two weeks, my wife filed for divorce.

Hello to everyone. I read posts here as people argue with vendors of equipment trying to return the blood for a low-quality product and remembered the story on the other side of the barricades. The letters were unexpectedly many. A few years ago I worked in a regional network of digital supermarkets. Service engineer on paper, but in fact accepted the goods for repair and sent them to certified offices. As one comrade handed over a planch of the Chinese company. He left contact details, address, phone and phone of his wife. I with a clear conscience sent the patient off on Saturday and forgot. He was repaired quite quickly, and he came back to me. I joyfully ran to call the client, and there would not be this post if not but. Both phones were disconnected from the network. Time allowed me to wait, so I hit. I tried it a few days later and the result was the same. As a result of the ten days before the end of the 45 days I went to the boss, and he sent a letter to the client. It would seem all, but it wasn’t here. The letter returned with a sign that there was no such thing. The address of the client always filled in the questionnaire by hand. It would seem clear, but suddenly for 45 days, I accidentally called his wife and told her by phone that the tablet was ready and needed to be picked up. She gladly said that today will and turned off the phone. No one came. In fact, for another six months, we constantly called on all the numbers once a week. Both were inaccessible. But six months later, the customer appeared in the store and raised an or. No, he raised the OR about the fact that the store has delayed the repair period, and now he must return the money for the equipment, for morality, for simple equipment in 100 days with more than a percentage per day. Roughly speaking, he wanted to get from us 3-4 times more money than he spent on the tablet. But whether he was either stupid or decided to roll on the ball, I don’t know I think the first. They didn’t even need lawyers. We were able to explain through the whole or to this dude that: 1. He himself indicated the wrong address, because there is a questionnaire with his signature. 2nd We were able to call in the specified time, there is a recording of his phone conversation with his wife. Three For the storage of his tablet he owes us 1% per day after 45 days, which is also stated in the repair documents. Days passed over 100, but as it happens with inadequate it did not convince him and he drove away threatening to go to court. The ship we waited for about a year, until the liquidation of the trade network. Morality is simple. Neher exit if wrong, because they could just go to the world giving the tablet. This did not arrange him, so neither money nor a plan he saw.

No one teaches history. Everyone thinks it will be different this time. will not be.

My teacher of labor in 5-6 classes in the 22nd school of Orla, Grigory Ivanovich Vnukov, was a good-soul man. When introduced a new subject - the initial military training, G.I. He wore the shirt with the black loop of the artillery and the chases of the senior lieutenant and began to teach us the basics of martial arts. Then we learned that he was a war veteran.

At a solemn line-up on May 8, 1975, the director of the school gave him the word, presenting him as the warrior-liberator who liberated Königsberg.

Grigory Ivanovich came out, took the medal and showed it to the students who stood next to him: "Read, not for liberation, but for the capture of Königsberg!"

Three surgeons smoke on the door of the government hospital.
The ordinary surgeon says:
- I cut the deputy appendicitis from the morning - while through a layer of fat, two scalpeled!
The Cardio Surgeon:
It is nonsense. I made the plastic valve to the deputy - I opened the chest, I reached the heart, and it is stone! While the Bulgarian cut - two diamond discs melted.
The neurosurgeon:
Men, this is all nonsense. Have you ever tried to transplant a deputy’s brain into a chicken’s skull, and fix it so that it doesn’t talk?

I just came home. I recently met a young man on VKontakte. We talked for a week and asked for a walk.

We met and asked to go to a cafe. I asked, “Can we go first?” “”

The answer: “No, no, go to the cafe, there’s better.”

We sat down at the table. I ordered coffee and salad, and a companion meat, cognac, soup and dessert. We sit and communicate. They sat for half an hour, and then he made me a proposal: "And they went to me, we are adults! “”

I respond with refusal. Again he insists. I refuse again. In an offended voice, he says, “I called you to the cafe and I’m paying for you just so? “”

I answer that I am able to pay for myself and that I will not go anywhere. She says, "Well, pay for everything yourself, since such a smart one has been found," rushes and moves to the exit.

I scream: “Hold the man in the blue, he didn’t pay! “” The guard doesn’t let him go, the waitress approaches him and I. I explain the situation. My new acquaintance says, "I don't know anything, I didn't eat anything, I sat with her at the table, she ate everything, let her pay."

The waitress says, “Let’s take a look at the camera recording.” My new acquaintance pronounces an obscene word, whispers the waitress a thousand and leaves. I wait for my bill, I cry, I leave.

At home, I see a message from him: "Can you come anyway, what as a little girl?"