I remember that from childhood I knew that both boys and girls have their own heavy share: boys 2 years to serve in the army, and girls to be pregnant 9 months and give birth))) And here I was very much tormented by the question - was I lucky that I was born a girl or, on the contrary, was unlucky? On the one hand, giving birth is painful, on the other hand, 2 years in the army without a mother is terribly long))))

The child, coming from school, asked me who Taras Volva was. I found nothing to answer immediately.

Dear, we have dinner today.
“We need dinner today... we need dinner.” I am weak!

The office is engaged in the distribution of alcohol among the production enterprises.
The girl sits and distributes applications from the factories, while reading in the ear:
150 liters of alcohol, per month, for the washing of the Petrov device
A break, and so dreamy:
What kind of device does Peter have that he needs so much alcohol every month?
Everyone quietly slipped under the tables.

by Xenobius

As I watched the students chop pigs in the kitchen, I understood the simple truth: if instead of the head a ass, everything around looks like a toilet.

Kholodkov Bros.

I decided yesterday to take care of the development of my son, to read him a book "I called the phone" of Korney Chukovsky, but after two attempts to read the line "- Ah, are you minded, gazelle?" was expelled by my wife to another room :(

{KWIer}

We bought an apartment, three weeks of guests - friends, relatives. They walked. My wife sits sad. I ask, why am I tired? No more praise to anyone.

She went to her sister in the children's hospital, was in a quiet hour. Extraordinary silence, cheerful babysitters, in general - a relentless idyll. I sit in the hallway and wait for the end. The mounters quietly pass by, quietly install a strap in the middle of the corridor, silently connect the perforator and begin to blow the concrete overlaps with sharpening.

The most cynical statement of the past day: "Houston, you have a problem"

1st The exam was
2nd What then?
1st Three thousand (
I meant what subject, but it doesn’t matter.)

You, men, cannot control your reproductive organs.
YYY: This is fertile in women, it is fertile in men.

News from Miley.
In the new program article, the head of the government outlined the strategy of people conservation. Thanks to the national conservation strategy, the head of government expects to increase the population of the country to 154 million people by 2050.

O God, he is with us forever.

If you are carrying shit, then look, do not hurt.

Going for a walk to Obi, his wife asked at the same time to buy land for home flowers. But as it was said, “When you go to the store, don’t forget to grab the land.” I caught it ))

Oh, how many things of this world I would give for going to work in clothes

xxx: throw my snake just into my mom's bed
YYY: The Serpent Sret?
YYY: What is it?? to

XXX: I have a sick leg.
xxx: At first I joyfully identified myself with House, but then I remembered the zombies from Heroes of Might and Magic...

Visiting the toilet during the flight in the plane has become less interesting. I learned that the content is not sent to nature like on a train.

Our people are stupid and stupid.
Today, a buyer came to the store, all such a calculated and type "concrete", say I know what I want - asks he means a question about bread, so that with the doser was, 24 programs and (further goes hysterical laughter) boiling borscht...
And he is so confident in his words, proving this by the fact that his brother bought one - to see a brother with a sense of humor in him, I imagine how the brother breaks in pieces from laughter...

News from Miley.
A 10-year-old girl made a scientific discovery
Ten-year-old Claire Leisen from Kansas (USA) accidentally made a scientific discovery. At a chemistry class, she assembled a pattern of a chemical compound previously unknown to scientists. It is believed that such a structure contributes to the accumulation of energy in the substance, and the discovery could lead to the creation of a new explosive.

One of the comments:
A boy in the village found a bullet. No one lives in the village anymore.