bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №149075
 14.02.2018
I personally took two of them to show me with my finger. Stir into my ignorance. What is there in fact? There are many women, yes. Why is? There are men in the hospitals.

You were in the shrimp, didn’t you? And you go to the oncocenter, half there. As a constant visitor, I tell you, and if you have a drop of conscience, put your insinuations in your ass and don’t tore your heresy to me. Everyone is sick. They care - yes, mostly women.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №149074
 14.02.2018
In the tram today the conductor very loudly discussed with some old lady, what her granddaughter at 9 years of age breast began to grow. She went to the endocrinologist and prescribed medications. What’s wrong with this because of the tablet, the phone and the TV?
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
What is a phone or tablet? I give this gift to my girlfriend.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №149073
 14.02.2018
How did yesterday’s gender war end?
WOW: What do you think?
All men are goats?
Baby females, children of larvae, after coupling you will sit on your neck and I will eat your brain.
The Amazing World of Wildlife
Tagged: member chat

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №149072
 14.02.2018
and bubble!

>>> If the dragon is large, and the knight is small in relation to his fist, what is the problem of getting into the esophagus unjowed and quickly cut it from the inside with a hammer?

A little more, and we will naturally come to the method of hunting curls. The main thing is to pick up the ingredients!

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №149071
 14.02.2018
Scientists say that fish contributes to brain development.
I will give my son a lump.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №149070
 14.02.2018
Given that I live in the 60th parallel, and at some point I can climb to a high spot, and my head will represent the extreme point of the planet in the direction of the movement of the solar system, then for some time it will prove that I am penetrating my head through the space of the galaxy flying ahead of the rest of the Earth and even the Sun.

Isn’t it beautiful?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №149069
 14.02.2018
In the 5th edak course, we had one subject. Interesting enough, given how much unnecessary information is sometimes fed to technicians. The teacher was a classy man, having a score system of assessment: any correct answer to the question, any cavernous question, etc. They were evaluated on a certain scale. Everything looked quite adequate: if you want to get a normal assessment - go on even at lectures, if you don't want to - walk, Vasya. And the final decisive assessment was the assessment for the coursework, which was to be defended online in Skype in the form of a conference, to which professors and other mastiest people from the universe were invited, who were familiar with the subject. I called and I defended. The conference itself lasted two hours, I was the third from the end. I finished waiting for the end, forgetting to turn off the microphone. The reports were some interesting, and some - there is no word of understanding that there are no questions.

Most importantly, I live in a dormitory and my neighbor fell under the end. The teacher asked, “Does anyone have questions?” At the same time, my neighbor asked me how I had the conference. There is silence on Skype about questions and here is my voice for the entire broadcast: "Yes, I didn't understand the nihua!" The silence, the quiet whispering of the professors, and after half a minute of silence our predecessor says, “On this optimistic note we end our conference.”

Given the fact that the broadcast was going, the next day I got the blatant looks of my acquaintances, laughter and approvals from friends from all courses. I eventually got five. It was fun in one word.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149068
 14.02.2018
and AGA:

And about "support in difficult times" – it’s funny at all. Girls from boys make legs, it is worth boys to slide with some flu

Go to the hospice. In the oncology room. In the hospital after the stroke. There are more wives taking care of incompetent husbands than men taking care of wives. Your single anecdotal case has no effect on the statistics.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №149067
 14.02.2018
by Bayon
and Dad:
Have you tried?
Have you tried?
I found nothing to answer.)
– is
Oh you Vasquez. Have you ever been taken for a man?
and no. And you?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №149066
 14.02.2018
A hundred and forty thousand Greeks gathered in their capital to protest against:
Increase of external debt
2) Small pensions
3) The NATO
4) Unemployment
The names of the neighbouring Republic of Macedonia.

The fifth is not a joke.
Small but harmful, in the opinion of the Greeks, the Macedonians are trying hard to monetize Alexander the Great. The flow of tourists is delayed.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №149065
 14.02.2018
Announcement at the entrance.
Photo of the cat and text: Lost cat, bla bla bla, who found, please call the number...
And on the bottom of the note with the pen: "I am not lost, I escaped".

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №149064
 14.02.2018
Yuri: Is Yuri again in active search?
The New Burger: UGU
Khalifa: And what is it? It seemed like they had the norm with the woman.
New Burger: Simple someone in life is the carpenter of his happiness, and the york of the journey the gardener
by Khalifa:
It’s when you put one shit into a relationship and expect a million red roses and sweet oranges in return.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №149063
 14.02.2018
However, the names of the Tatars... I knew about one fellow servant for 30 years that he was Sereza. And recently found on the social network - it was a server.
and 410

Anarchy49 posted 13 days ago
# by

The main thing is not to fall.
and 269

urlaub posted 13 days ago
# by

He is a retired pilot. Once he is alive, he has not fallen.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №149062
 14.02.2018
In the middle of a huge discussion:
You write faster than I read.
myad era: You only read here

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №149061
 14.02.2018
xxx: There was approximately such a x%$ya - flying to Sharm, only three hours in the summer: mommy with a p%$yuk of three years, as soon as they got on board, p%$yuk began to weep exhaustedly, on requests to humiliate a reaction of the type "you will understand."

xxx: Some man approached their seat and naturally unmemberedly began to whine straight into the ear of the mommy, "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №149060
 14.02.2018
Elections in Russia are like a wedding “by flight”: a troublesome and costly formality.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №149059
 14.02.2018
I stood down my head, screaming at me, threatening me. I am no longer a young man, I can’t lift my head and look people in the eyes. Grandmother, granddaughter, why are you so close to your grandfather? Why did you create it?
There are a lot of people in the school’s director’s office, but the director of the school, the minor’s inspector and a young teacher hit me with anger. Only the local does not raise their heads stuck in papers. I was already conducted through the defeated act hall, showed traces of blood on some objects. Now I am loaded in full.
And since they say at the same time, I perceive it as an outcry:
The evening meeting of graduates.
The authority of the school was affected.
Respectful people were injured.
Heavy bodily... brain shock.
Lots of scratches, broken hair, broken clothes.
I am getting worse, I can't hold back anymore, I feel I can't stand. I have a Validol record:
I need to go out to the fresh air.
I turn and leave the office. I hear the local voice:
I carry a citizen.
I barely restrained, I walk through the corridor, I go out to the doorstep.I look around, and speeding up the step I rush to the nearest corner of the school.
I turn around and my will power is over.
I start laughing, and what to laugh there - RAT!!! To tears, to knocking my head at the wall.
He found me there, but he started laughing much earlier. He came to me in tears.
So we ran for half an hour.
This is how! Could I miss this?- wiping tears said the districtman - He was always present first, and then decided to approach the end of the evening.
I hope somebody made the video?
“We only have to hope,” he shrugged his hand.
Where did she get all these accessories from?
I thought.
A week earlier, Yulia (my granddaughter) went to Krasnodar for a wedding with a girlfriend.
Probably brought it all from there.
And imagine: yesterday, the evening of the Meeting of Graduates, the acting hall. High school students from the stage congratulate the school, teachers, graduates. In short, they sing and dance. The door opens and my granddaughter (she is in 11th grade) enters the hall in a chic, white wedding dress. Fatah and the bride’s bouquet are also present. Hand in hand with the bridegroom. A witness and a witness with tape across the shoulder.
The bride is on the stage:
Dear guests! I couldn’t help but share my happiness with you, so I decided to throw the “bride’s bouquet” at my school. There are so many single girls who want to get married. Hunt it!! to
He threw a bouquet into the hall.
I already told the local.
The director was thrown out through two rows of chairs, the Inspector for Minors affairs was drowned, the hand was struck, one nail was torn. With faces over two dozen, two with a brain shock. Everything else is like broken noses. There are no schoolgirls injured. Only teachers and graduates. Well, Fizruck got a pinch when he tried to break.
I don’t know how to convince my beloved grandson that this is a bad joke? Especially because I couldn’t see her live. One hope is that there is a recording.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №149058
 14.02.2018
Oleg Vladimirovich Deryrybka.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №149057
 14.02.2018
Facebook is about losing weight in the spring.

Are you motivated by the results of others? Yes to me!
Especially such! Lose 11 kg in 8 weeks! Take the first step, I’ll help you do the rest.

Yyy: I lost 20 kg in 2 months, this is the result!)) And not your 11 kg in 8 weeks)))

Zzz: I lost 60 kg at the time! At the foot of the coach. After this incident, he ran the hundred meter in 13 seconds. Here is the result!

Tagged with: team

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №149056
 14.02.2018
You know the feeling when you wake up at 4-5 in the morning and understand that you need to go to the toilet, but don't pressure much and try to fall asleep. You turn, you still know you need to get up. You are pushing. Then you lie down and fail in a half-sleep, as if you are not awake, but you do not sleep. At this point, the brain raises interesting questions. The clock turned, remembering in Kalashnikov the cut of the stalk on the clock or against it. PPC Question of Life and Death

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