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[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №151787
 16.02.2019
As an anecdote:

Two mathematicians sit in a restaurant. One went to the toilet. The second called the waitress and asked her:

“Girl, could you, when I ask the question, just answer x in a cube for three?”

She agreed.



His colleague returns and he begins a discussion.

“People know mathematics very well. Here we argue on a cocktail of cognac that the arbitrary waitress knows the integral number? He joyfully agreed.



He calls the waitress and asks:

“Well, girl, do you know what is equal to the integral x square by de x? “”

She replies, “X in a cube for three.” A colleague in shock. Then the waitress added:

Plus a constant!



And now history.

My friend and I, a professor of mathematics, are traveling from Toronto to Boston. On the way we go to McDonald’s and order two identical combos. The seller calls the price: 13. and 73.

My friend said it was wrong and the price should be fair.

What she answered:

The tax is charged from the total amount. “”

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №151786
 16.02.2019
If you have begun to be jealous of an unfamiliar man, then you have plans for him.

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №151785
 16.02.2019
Seven in the morning, the Moscow metro, a very crowded line. The situation in the car is "seldy in a barrel on the brink of civil war". People become nervous by the end of the week, very nervous and angry.
A middle-aged man sits, reads a tablet, taking him to his knees. At the station, a cock in a expensive coat + all sorts of shorts on the shirt + a massive watch bracelet on the lap + o-de-colon - accessories that hint to the entire surrounding village that "I am on the march, only it broke and my radiance decreased."
The cock in the lap has a massive case with which it is uncomfortable in the crowd. And case comes down on the knees of a sitting uncle, almost breaking the tablet.
What are you doing, shit? The man was angry.
He throws pork through his lips.
The surroundings are interested in pulling their necks - will they beat or not? Weight categories are very different, and how to fight here? There is no birth or flight.
The train departs to the open area and the cock gets a cell phone. Judging by conversation, it reports to the boss. A business sausage. The eyes on the ceiling.
The man, meanwhile, leads his hand along the case, brings the tablet to his eyes and suffers the chumadan on his knees.
At the transit station, the kaban with the crowd flies out of the wagon, the case unexpectedly unfolds and papers, pens, a diary... And the people run away. The crowd, the stream. The Kaban splashes people, receiving in response the rays of diarrhea and dozens of wishes of various perversions and ways of death. Papers are returned to the case in unnecessary debris and dirty form. A sweaty and evil cock clamps the suitcase and a stream of mate erupts from its mouth. Inscription with a mark on leather (or plastic?) “I give in my ass without rubber 300 bucks/night.”

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №151784
 16.02.2019
In an interview with Google:
How did you know about our company?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №151783
 16.02.2019
An unknown man has sent about $910,000 to the municipal authorities of Eichime Prefecture in western Japan.

On January 29, a package arrived at the address of the governor of the prefecture of Echime Tokihiro Nakamura. In a cardboard box were packages of 10,000 yen notes.

In a letter in the box, an unknown sender asked to use the money for good deeds. He wrote that the name and address indicated on the mail are fictional and he wishes to remain unknown.

Governor Nakamura said on Thursday he welcomed such a donation. According to him, this money may be someone’s savings for a lifetime.

The governor added that the prefecture would consider using the money to support childcare and restoration work in areas affected by last year’s heavy rains.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №151782
 16.02.2019
I was 13-14 years old and one happy day my parents left me alone at home. The year was 98-99 (even before all these of your entornets) and the prospect of watching REN-TV at night, I was quite seductive. I lived, by the way, in a private house with a small plot and we had a dog of the Doberman breed, which was considered in the family a model of security qualities.

At about 12 a.m., the dog stumbled, began to knock on the door, apparently demanding to go out with her. When I opened the door and went out to the doorstep, I heard the compressed tones that were being delivered from the corner of the site. It was dark, though the eye was scattered, in addition there were trees and bushes, so that the source of sound I could only determine by the method of sound localization. Going to check the stones in the dark seemed to me a bad idea, and the stones were scary, I thought then they were mortal, maybe the addict is dying or something like that. “Fuck the question! I have a superdog! At first I decided, but the dog did not react to all the commands, only looked closely at the sound and rattled. I stood in full shyness, because I used to drive Doberman to training and she listened to me unconditionally. Suddenly, the dog with the appearance of “let it be done” turned and fell into the open door.

For a couple of minutes I listened to these stones, standing on the doorstep in tapes, they were not monotonous, they were somewhat afterlife, and repeated with different volume. I didn’t want to climb into the wet grass in the shoes, but I thought I just had to find out what was there. I took the blade, turned off the light on the doorway so that my eyes would get used to the darkness and started slowly going to the sound. It was scary to be a writer. I got closer and closer and the stones stopped. I approached the place where the sound seemed to come from, but I saw nothing unusual. I stumbled and suddenly the stone repeated half a meter from me and I saw... I saw the cat fucking the cat fucking! I’m standing like an idiot whispering with a spade, and the cat is fucking the cat and looking at me, the bastard.

After pulling out a couple with a knock of my legs and shouting, I went into the house. Judging from the sight of the dog coming out of the couch, she was very pleased to see me alive. I then told her for half an hour what a shit she was and that the house should be guarded and not hidden under the couch.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №151781
 16.02.2019
On the eve of my 27th birthday, the mystery of the strangest event in my life was uncovered... 10 years ago.

I met a young man, as if everything was “serious.” It is time to lose your virginity. We met and fulfilled my wishes. We went to the outskirts of the city, to the dacha. Winter, forest, snow shines from the light of the lamp, calmly. We approach the gate, I am going out, I turn my head to the right and I see... A girl runs barefoot on the snow in some shirt of acid-yellow color, and behind her grandfather... with a tail... and then both in the shadow... We are in shock, what was it? They released the police, they went and left... Naturally, the romance all went away and I asked to take me home. The MMC was very dissatisfied. And how it all broke out after that...

Last night I met him at TZ. They talked about this and he tells us that he married that girl... As it turned out she ran barefoot on the snow - hardened, and her grandfather walked after her - guarded.

I finally found out that everything was fine with her!

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