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[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №125555
 16.03.2016
Comments on Survival:

Once I took this cat with me to survive... so while I was asleep, this cat joked somewhere and then came to warm his ass around my warm nose, which was running out of the bedroom... Since that time, the cat has thought I am the worst beast in the forest.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №125554
 16.03.2016
Scientists were able to cure paralysis by reprogramming a patient’s brain:
XXX - You see, so someday we will live before the release of the driver right_hands.sys
YYY - I can imagine when the profession of "brain programmer" becomes massive. He came to the patient, and he after the session can not rejoice: he wanted to move his hand - his leg is shaken, he wanted to move his foot - he dropped.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №125553
 16.03.2016
A few months before my adulthood, my father asks if I want to earn money. I agree and ask what to do. Dad says that he bought the beaten dozen for 15t and if we invest a little effort and a little money in it, then we can sell it much more expensive. So began the month of buying spare parts, painting, garage tea drinks and pick-up mat, when something doesn’t work out. But we did it, after a month, this dozen was like just coming down from the conveyor, nothing broke, didn’t knock and looked very even decent (for VAZ, of course). The father said that he would look for a buyer for her, I agreed, the first two weeks I questioned him, but he refused, saying, no one has money, no season to sell the car, etc. A few more weeks are passing and I successfully forget about this car, because it’s time to take the exams in the auto school.



And here, my birthday, my parents wake up early in the morning, my mom says they have a surprise for me, give me 10 minutes to collect, close their eyes and take somewhere. I think it's such a surprise, nothing comes to my mind, but in another 15 minutes they remove the bandage from me and I see my garage and this tenth... Dad smiles echoingly, mom tells me that I'm already big and I need a car, but for a good I have to earn myself. And I stand and look at my father giving me the keys.



Z is. The car served me faith and truth for about two years, then it was successfully sold.

[ + 11 - ] Comment quote №125552
 16.03.2016
To all the men who defend the friends here, I wish in the “friends” of the hypocritical gay. That you believe him, as yourself, to think that you have common interests, that he is pleasant to communicate with you - and it would end up with harassment for a joint "chicken of tea" and a crackdown of friends about the fact that the poor girl supposedly loves you, and you, the rookie, are so rude with him! Optionally, let this rat also scare away the women you like, depicting him as if he is already your couple, and ensuring the corresponding reputation. Maybe it will finally come that there is no good there.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №125551
 16.03.2016
In the blood of almost all the artists of the Russian stage found phanerdonia.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №125550
 16.03.2016
Forget that nonsense. The inalienable right of every professional is to send a client to a known address, or at least to call him so that he sits, presses his tail, and listens to what smart people say. Use them more often. You are a professional and they are fools, and not the opposite.

The tattooist! Have you come back?!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №125549
 16.03.2016
At the age of three, he began to read, far from a winderkind, there were many such in the USSR. Not Hugo, of course, obviously got rid of it, but let's say Mummy Troll definitely before school.

In the USSR, my mother-in-law had already worked as a teacher. Her eldest son-wonderkind, if you believe her, read at 3 years old without any training (he called the beast by the picture at 8 months, and in the year counted to ten), and the younger learned to read at 7.5, already in school. Taking into account the mother-teacher and brother-wonderkind, you can imagine how the whole preschool childhood was washed over the child. He, by the way, finished the university with a red diploma, defended his dissertation, his career is not as successful as the senior, but every better than my. I also learned to read at 3.5. In high school, it does not matter at what time you started reading, writing, telling poems, the program is one on all, the square equations and the structure of the atom go strictly according to the schedule.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №125548
 16.03.2016
Chadelbendere: I have had an amazing conversation with the Statistics Service.
by Radamskin?
Chadelbendere: I: There are even primates and snakes in the list of meat codes, it is pleasant to see it. But can you tell me what code to assign a smoked chicken?
SS: Cock chicken is not on the list.
I : Why?
SS: Chicken breeding does not apply to industrial production.
I: And the smoking of snakes, dolphins and primates applies?
SS: Can I clarify and call you again?

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №125547
 16.03.2016
There is an American working at our company. Real and officially. Mark was born and raised outside the ocean. The Russians have almost no accent. There is no mention of sanctions. As they say, only business, nothing personal. It works according to our rules. You have to delay - no problems, arrange a short day on Friday - only for. Countries are not discussed. We do not praise America, he does not insult Russia. Nothing is different. Even on Catholic Christmas it works and doesn’t chew. New Year’s holidays, of course, are walking in full.

The story itself. After March 8, he came without a voice. Either cold a lot drunk, or forgiven, what difference - can not say. He hanged a note on the door: “I can’t speak – I forgive. I will answer all questions in writing.”

Sitting happy to work. A few minutes later, the colleagues replaced the paper: “You are bombing Syria. I am not talking to you. I can answer in writing.”

People approach, read, press on their shoulders, but do not ask unnecessary questions. Few people march like cockroaches. He only saw the replacement at the end of the day. We were not offended, we laughed together.

They announce the withdrawal of our troops. Mark immediately reacted:

You see, it worked.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №125546
 16.03.2016
Periodically I’m asked with everyone if I’m so “good”, I tell them that when I come home (I live 1500km away) my mom sometimes says “Hitler has come.”

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №125545
 16.03.2016
The veterinarian told me - the dog got oncology, underwent a course of chemotherapy with dacarbazine and for the recovery period (18-25 days) I recommended the owners to improve the quality of the dog's nutrition for a faster recovery... they improved the amount... the dog was treated for cancer, and died from a twist of the intestines.

[ + 18 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125544
 16.03.2016
A lady came to the store. Need, says, eyebrows for a child, what would you advise? I ask how old the child is. The answer is twenty-eight. I am only twenty one.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №125543
 16.03.2016
I learned to read at 4 years old, and I counted and even wrote crazy too before school. Parents were taught to work and motivated to gain knowledge. But the meaning? Those who knew nothing before school are taught this in the first classes, the difference in success soon is no longer visible, all students are drawn to the same level.
Our class, regardless of homework with parents, was steadily the first in the estimates and the Olympiads, there were no twins even among children from troubled families of the level of "Papa Alkas, Mom died, grandmother raises once a year". We had worthy teachers. They did not go online what stupid children went, they just taught, tried to interest, explained, and did not read the material at a distance. In our hometown, an orphan became the best student, her parents also taught at home, or is a good study the merit of teachers?

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №125542
 16.03.2016
What do you say?

No girl has been delighted with a bouquet of favorite sweet peppers on March 8 more than the flowers. My girlfriend is vegan and she is unique.)

I'm not a vegan, but I'm still much more pleased with the tastes of any holiday than with the flowers. My on March 8 cheese-meat delicacies dissolved the "forbidden", I ate so that the neighboring strawberries began to subdue. The way to a woman’s heart lies also through the stomach – swing your mouths, comrades.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №125541
 16.03.2016
In the distant 91th year, my sister moved to London, leaving the keys of the apartment to her ex-husband (her apartment). Ivanich loved to walk before the divorce, and here the house was formed. The celebration in the apartment was permanent. Three months later, I came back from a business trip and actively engaged in the fun. I remember the bottles delivered from the balcony were enough for a box of vodka from speculators. Now you don’t remember how and where the money came from in those years, but it seemed enough. Two of the companies were fascinated by the romance of the semi-criminal movement, Ivanovic sold something, I dragged in-tourists around the city, in the evening - fun in my sister's apartment. The composition of the fun changed, some people came to visit, the virgins vary by themselves. But here three girls were almost constantly in the apartment in different variations, then two, then all three, and one child has another. Very convenient - always company and drink and everything else there. And after about three months of such a life, the sister decided to give up the apartment and asked Ivanitsch to take the keys. I came for the keys, he is not in the apartment, only these girls. He asked, “Where is Ivanovic?” The answer pleased him: “We don’t know where Ivanich is, he doesn’t live here.” “How is it?” “Well, we just rent his apartment.”

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №125540
 16.03.2016
I am a handjob, so I bring the most benefit to others when I don’t do anything.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №125539
 16.03.2016
I work in the pharmacy "Premier"

A young girl comes in.

Hi to you. My child’s voice is gone. Is there anything from this?

Yes of course. Take the drug X.

He thought for a moment, then said so vividly, with a smile:

Even though there is so much silence in the house, there is so much beauty.

Finally with sadness:

Oh yeah, let’s go.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №125538
 16.03.2016
I remember that day as today. of August. My mother and I were sent to the office. Forced to read. I managed to say 56 words in a minute and it was a shame that I failed at the end. But to review the result nobody gathered. I was 6 years old, I was in 1st class. And even offensive with the school, when I was writing a little piece, I wrote the word Sun. And the teacher said that this word has not yet passed and reduced the assessment. I still remember that insult. I am 88 years old.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125537
 16.03.2016
xxx: D. asked me here if there is an orchate in Portugal. It turns out to be such a drink. But I did not think about that.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №125536
 16.03.2016
Discussion "Do you use a car video recorder"

I was given recently. It turned on once. Then I saw what was written - like Cole and Lucy from "one for all".
FOB: so it had to be on the other side of the objective.)

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