bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №16547
 16.05.2009
Fuck... I think my cat fucked me... but, fuck, I don’t admit...

In short, I came home and cooked myself two sausages. I put it on the plate and ate it. This cattle is canyoning. Okay, he has a right. I leave the sauces, I go for food for him. I open the bag, I put it on... the stink smells, turns his ass and, fucking, buries! The fucking guy put him in the bag! I’m in Ahuya, I think you’re a fucking tail, so you don’t want to eat and I try his food. I think normal. Such a fun cake is no worse than sausages. In his opinion, it is shit. He sits, sickness nods, watching how I eat his food... the cattle is sorry, I throw him half a sausage. It burns off.
Yopt... so they ate it—it’s my sauces, I’m his food...it’s not that...

[ + 76 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №16546
 16.05.2009
She: I don’t like them either. Give me some wool socks 😉
he: it's not romantic, better I'll learn to tie, and I'll tie them to you) - this is a real male act.
Yes, do a deed for me! 😉
he: mda, I imagine a picture, a secret girl enters the server room, asks for a new pink mouse, smoothly swings her hips for persuasiveness, around stands with servetes, boxes of screws, boxes with old glands, and in the center of all this chaotic horror I sit and tie gray-rose socks... then I raise my red eyes on her and questioningly ask - No? Here’s where she’ll catch and catch...

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №16545
 16.05.2009
SUV2
The news. Homosexuals banned from serving in Peru police

You can think that Peruvian mints will cease to be called pidaras after that.

[ + 76 - ] Comment quote №16544
 16.05.2009
I sit in the morning with my sister (adieu to the kindergarten). We watched the entire dance program, here comes the leader and asks the children:
Do you like it in the garden?
And yes!! and chorus. It was planned).
And here she unexpectedly proposes:
So stay with us! Go back to the cage!
Five seconds of complete silence. Then single cries from different sides: "Yes!" and "No!"
Then one boy told me:
We have already taken our place!! Have a conscience!! to
The back rows with the parents and the operator who filmed it all just cried.

[ + 68 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №16543
 16.05.2009
The guy who entered for a veteran - Tell the address of the hospital where you lie your name and reception hours. I will visit Moscow. I hope there will be people in other cities too.
Z is.What can bring? The fruit, the juice?

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №16542
 16.05.2009
From the series "Unreal phrases":
Chuck Norris "I can’t"
Onotole Wassermann: "I did not think".

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №16541
 16.05.2009
RuLeZzZ® (16:46:03 14/05/2009)
Dreams come true... At a certain moment... Most often this moment
It is called "No longer in the.uj"...

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №16540
 16.05.2009
Once we were sitting in a cafe at the DR with a friend of my girlfriend. Such a cultural company. They all just met. All the toasts say, congratulate... It’s time to drink for the parents.
Aaa, let’s go for parents!
BBB is Yes! exactly!
Ccc - Without them you't have been here
DDD - Yes... I could just stick to the plate...

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №16539
 16.05.2009
Tags: natural juice
NN: What would be natural juice

[ + 78 - ] Comment quote №16538
 16.05.2009
Not a company, but a fool. The director, a wealthy man of 40 years, brought a huge bug from the street and sits scares the deputy director. A morally strong 45-year-old woman, able to conduct business and send our suppliers, visits the whole office and is terribly afraid of the frog.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №16537
 16.05.2009
In the zoo was in Rostov:
long cage for macacos, meters 30 in length... divided into sectors by species... and people's axes at cells...
We approach and look... and some fox makaka so wildly roars... ppt... I thought they were killing her, I left-right – I don’t see... I think where this fox was hiding... on the right there is a man and also already caught in this scream says – “Daughter, stop, you scare monkeys.”

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №16536
 16.05.2009
xx (04:20 PM) :
Can I take care of you?
yy (04:20 PM) :
and wave. and. What to start?
xx (04:20 PM) :
Can I start from the end? :D
yy(04:21 PM) :
Of course can. Go Naked

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №16535
 16.05.2009
A real case in the office. The chief gives the secretary a leaflet with some kind of stamps - such as the surname and salary and the type it needs to be printed. The Secretary looks, then the question:
Secretary: Irina Alekseevna, but here is how to write "Ivanov - "hz"?
Chief (after the pause): Yoprst, Natasha!!! This is " multiply by three!!!and "

[ + 82 - ] Comment quote №16534
 16.05.2009
I’ll tell you if you don’t guess yourself.
I picked up the old man. The old man did not ask if he was a veteran. I often when I drive, I pick up people, someone was beaten with mint, someone was robbed, someone really wants home, and the subway is closed and there is no money. You have to start with yourself, you know? of themselves!
____________________________________________

Thanks to people like you. He once had a situation when he was knocked out of his jaw and took a bag with money and a phone. The case was closer to the night in Moscow, when he was returning from a friend who was in the hospital. I live in Krasnogorsk. Eventually, being in an outstanding situation, he went home on a haircut. No one gave me a call. When he arrived at the MCAD, the boy stopped at Nexia. Not only did he bring home, but he also fixed his jaw. He studied at Tasmania.

As long as people like you are alive, our country has a future.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №16533
 16.05.2009
Old age has come if the desire to look around after a beautiful girl
It is suppressed by the idea of unjustified excessive effort.

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №16532
 16.05.2009
by Deja Vu.

Early morning, February 22 (about 5 am), still dark, Kiev
150 kilometers from Moscow. On board – minus eighteen
of degrees. As I crossed another section of the road, I noticed a steep step in the
Not quite dressed by the weather. It is dark but
I have noticed that there is nothing in the figure...

And nothing else, dear comrades. To the nearest inhabitant.
The point was not fifteen kilometers, and until the remaining behind - so much.
Yes is. From which somehow it became clear that uncle on the road was not the first hour. and
to walk him into the darkness, and to step further, and not weakly. at such a temperature.

Fuck you uncle. Let you be a maniac, a rapist, a psychopath.
With a big knife, curiosity is stronger. Getting out of a cold night.
A pedestrian suicide in a car. The conversation takes place approximately
The following:

How are they called?

by Pavel

Where to tap?

to Kiev. by Autostop...

from where?

From Moscow.

When did you get out of her?

Yesterday at seven in the morning.

Have you walked a day?

No, 80 kilometers have passed. On the side.

Slept for 24 hours?

and no.

Is there money?

and no.

Why is?

He worked in Moscow as an engineer for the last one and a half months.
have paid. To live for nothing, there is nothing. There is nothing to sell except the phone.
Sold, the money ended – so I had to go.

- It is not scary that the holiday, the track is empty, and the oak is such a
on the street?

I wonder why there are so few cars.

When is El?

- The guard on the parking lot recently allowed to warm up, served coffee.
and sandwiches.

You know that it could freeze so easily, no one would.
have stopped? To your Kiev to go a thousand kilometers.

I have not even tried to brake. The driver of Fury.
Someone to agree. But nobody takes. There are few cars.

How old are you, Paul?

and twenty six.

It looks like forty...

Yes, life is like that.

And here I am forty.

and yes? I thought 26...

I’ll take you to Brisbane and we’ll find out.

and thanks.

In Brjansk bought him a train ticket to Kiev. I gave him 500 rubles.
The pocket was somewhat broken.

His face was surprised – not that word.

Why deja vu, would you ask? For a long time, in the same place.
This story happened exactly. Only the character went to the other side.

[ + 42 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №16531
 16.05.2009
A successful life is when you earn more than your lawyer.
The Dentist.

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №16530
 16.05.2009
Commentary on Czech TV:
"The Russians have a great tradition: listen to their anthem after the game"

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №16529
 16.05.2009
Prehistory: My beloved has been talking about the AS for a month, I still refuse - well, I am embarrassed by the difference in size "what"

Yesterday, in bed, I saw for the first time a man trying for half an hour to convince a woman that he had the smallest penis in the world.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №16528
 16.05.2009
She is:
and ( )
and (*.* is
(" and (")
Good morning Rabbit!

He: (10:43:49 13/05/2009)
The Sisters?

She:(10:44:11 13/05/2009)
Three of them!! - by

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