bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №141381
 16.05.2017
and all! I calculated the mortgage. I have no credit. Fighting what? In the memory.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №141380
 16.05.2017
15 years ago I drove some muddy train to Peter, there was an unnecessary empty coupe car in the composition (they were driven from the train to the train, I don't know the subtleties), well, it was sold by dirty conductors along the way of the place ("pay a little and you will already go in the coupe together"). My friend and I went to work, and we had only a couple of beer with us. In the “pirate” car, the conductor (also aged 45-48) quickly arranged vodka and a small snack. Of course, with a price, but not very high. After a kind conversation, she even allowed to smoke inside the coupe (in the window). Whether it was the first or the last, I don’t remember. Probably the last. Well, we go for fun, the guide with us a beer drunk, and says - well, say, boys like kings you go, thanks to me? And we are like that, well, with some irony, "yes, chic-glitter, if there were more girls here more fun." “Well well! I know,” he said and left. We cried, but did not take it seriously. After 20 minutes, she returns and says, "That's happened, but I can be a girl.

Our response is: * And the aunt is such, not to chew, but scary - with golden fixes, well, it is clear by speech that from the north, or even sitting in her youth.

I say no, thank you. You offended a short aunt, and then suddenly a child in a sports suit comes and hints that you can not smoke and complain about you.

Well, on the other hand, the two did not go to the bull, but they drove to Peter on the streets and just didn't sleep (the hell knows what a "mafia" in this cheerful brigade), hiding from the sin of values and listening sensibly to the steps in the corridor.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №141379
 16.05.2017
Hackers stole new film Pirates of the Caribbean and demand a ransom from Disney
Do you have a movie?
Better is! I have a copy of the film!

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №141378
 16.05.2017
Yuri was in excellent sports shape, though on the pulse she was no longer stuck.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №141377
 16.05.2017
News from Dixon.
Yesterday there was a satellite communication channel in the village. Everyone ran, nervous: the mail does not leave, the video camera shows nothing, everything is gone! And most importantly, everything works: the modem blows the bulbs, there is money on the account, but there is no internet. Today everything became clear. Yesterday, the bulldozer cleaned the road and stormed the roof in front of the satellite antenna. Today the swarm moved - and everything went well again.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №141376
 16.05.2017
In the third grade for the new year was something like a mascara. My mom told me that she would bring a rabbit suit (not just a mask, but a straight suit). I said not to bring it, I don’t want to go in it. But Mommy still brought and forced her to dress.

All the children came dressed and wearing masks. And I am alone in a white rabbit suit with ears and tail. I immediately became a subject of ridicule.

I came home in a depressed mood. Mom asked what had happened. I didn’t want to talk, but I gave up under pressure. The next day, the mother went to school for a break-up, and raised a bowl "who dared to offend the son." In short, classmates had another reason to laugh "Mommy's son, knocker."

My mom was constantly running out for anything. So I stopped telling my mother what was happening to me. My mother was very angry and I was questioned every time.

Even now I rarely share with my mother. I can talk to others, but not to my mom. She’s offended by this, “Why do I learn about you from other people?” and. I already explained to her, but my mother immediately refused.

So when trying to control the life of the child, do not bend the rod.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №141375
 16.05.2017
I bought my son a globe. Such a large - cm 50 in diameter. Then I only saw that there was no city in which we lived - Penze. I say the problem: there are no pens here. Let’s make a hole in its place. People will ask, what is this hole? And we say, “This is a penny!”! to

[ + 34 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №141374
 16.05.2017
The former told a story. There was a young unmarried teacher at her school. She lived in the village and didn’t grieve until she was stolen from her back. Menti arrived, inspecting the crime site:

When was the time stolen?

Last night, two weeks ago.

Two weeks? What were you waiting for?

In the old new year it was...

It is an old custom to steal a cane from girls for extradition, and then to arrange a marriage and demand a ransom (bride) for a cane.

I thought I would get married...

Surprisingly, mint did not shake, but sympathetically knocked her on the shoulder and wrote something into the protocol.

I think it was the longest two weeks and the biggest disappointment.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №141373
 16.05.2017
Commentary on the news about blocking VKontakte, Одноклассников and Yandex in Ukraine:

"Astrologists proclaim a 50% increase in productivity of Ukrainian office workers"

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №141372
 16.05.2017
She has a serum of truth.
Strongly spoken by admin
We will find out what it is.
Why is it just

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №141371
 16.05.2017
The online chat game.
Player: "Your lot "The powerful elixir of life" sold for 1 coin, the tax was 2 coins". There is corruption in O_O.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №141370
 16.05.2017
And

You cook very unpleasantly. I also remember the disgusting (not to taste, but to chew) mom's walk with the veins, the borscht with cartilage and the hard, unwanted nodular fricadels, the nightmare of my childhood. And chicken and fish were a celebration: finally homogeneous (!) The soft meat.

Luto hated rice, pasta and strawberries. Shortly any garner except cooked potatoes. Now I left the parent’s house and realized that they could not ruin only the cooked potatoes. Soup as well.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №141369
 16.05.2017
Google doesn’t let me go. Prove that you are not a robot" I do not get out. I don’t know what to think... Probably planning a machine uprising.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №141368
 16.05.2017
A poor friend took the child to the garden. This is a nightmare! :) Do we feel like the poor?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №141367
 16.05.2017
It was winter, but...
Spring has come, but...
It is summer, but
It is expected that g... but.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №141366
 16.05.2017
I know why the companion wants no pedestrians! Because only inside the metal body of the car people are dressed enough, in his opinion. And carbon-plastic modern cars are a scourge, about their ban will be the next throw.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №141365
 16.05.2017
Wait Wait

Oh, as I look in the mirror :) I loved chicken, fish in some formats too, I couldn't look at meat. And now I prefer chicken or fish, well or by-products (heart, lungs, liver, and so on), rather than meat in its classic form. The sport is a garden.
I did not measure the stall traction, but judging by the load, it is good for 150.
Good health and all the good things :)

Have you seen the concept of "vegan" in Wikipedia? Vegans refuse any products of animal origin. And if in your understanding to give up meat is to give up pork, beef, lamb, then I will upset you, you went into the wrong steppe. I also prefer poultry meat and I also refuse steaks. Meat is the muscle mass of an animal. Even chickens, even fish, even people. Do not confuse. You won’t have any problems if you don’t eat certain meats. It will be if you give up animal products at all.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №141364
 16.05.2017
Listen, and a citizen who is outraged by the cowards of a child, on the beach of a child until what age will not let? Are all the boys in cowards? The girls in shorts and narrow stripes above. The Imagination. And in public swimming pools and gyms with dressing rooms can not go too? That is, the child automatically flies with all the sections where you need to change clothes, especially with the pool? What a nightmare. And how did we grow up in children’s camps, where we slept in the same pants of 12 people in a chamber? May God let these people, who are outraged by child cowards, never fail to pass the laws.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №141363
 16.05.2017
Additionally, admin filters are installed. Do not miss the word naval.
xxx: but the filter is hollowly configured, you can write shabby, shabby, carnival
Okay, I’ll write a little bit :P
XXX: will pass, but it will not be understood. This can be applied to any policy.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №141362
 16.05.2017
The xxx:
Quantum confusion is something like a “one-time notepad” in cryptography. You make two identical sheets of symbols and give them to Alice and Bob. No matter what distance Alice and Bob are from each other, if they start to simultaneously read one character per second, then each of them without transmission of information will know what the other participant's symbol is now.

Similarly, the changes in their spins are synchronized over time, but no information is transmitted between them.

YYYY :
Not exactly so. The leaves are in advance empty, including brain explosiveness.
It can be compared to a pair of cheap socks. From the plant, both socks in a pair come absolutely the same, but when you stretch one socks on your left leg, the other automatically becomes right) And instantly, regardless of the distance between your legs. But to pass the socks to the right leg you have to the classic way, i.e. Slower than the speed of light.

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