The engine for the lifting of the heat cooker weighing 0.6 - 0.7 tons burned. His working conditions were very difficult. No other engine was found immediately, we put a manual swing.

In the afternoon, the worker lifted the drive, released the pen and wanted to look out the window. The dog did not get up on the shovel, under the action of the load, the pen went in the opposite direction and broke his jaw.

The head of the commission did not want to hang the act, put forward a version of the fight.

On the spot, he took the pen and began to spin. Snook, wanted to wipe out the sweat, immediately his jaw was broken with the pen of the swamp.

A resident of Lysev discovered that there were cockroaches in his apartment. He did not intend to settle with the barren neighborhood, and decided to arrange for them hell (in terms of air temperature).



He pulled a heat gun home, turned it on full power and closed the door tightly. When he realized that the sharp smell of heat was produced by not-heated cockroaches, it was too late. The insects were embraced by the flames along with his things and furniture.



To extinguish the experiment with thermal disinfection traveled up to 5 fire crews and 13 personnel. From the foolishness of the culprit of the incident, they were also slightly burned.

I don’t understand how a woman without a beard could win Eurovision.? to

A running man

On May 9th, I went to Dacia. The streets were almost empty, all the people sat around the houses and celebrated.
The suburbs of Moscow were not covered by the May heat and the air conditioner that did not wake up from the winter sleep saved me from the hustle of hell.
Suddenly stuck in a deaf traffic, where it should not be at all, the navigator showed that somewhere far away the road is blocked, the holiday still.
The smokers left their cars, decorated with red bars, and spread across the square to breathe hot asphalt.
Then I saw him for the first time.
It was a long-strung, white-brushed sergeant, he walked by a halo by me, cleverly, like a deer, maneuvering between standing cars. It seemed that somewhere nearby, behind the square, a truck with parade fighters was waiting for him, and the sergeant suggested not to delay his own.
Twenty minutes later, the stream slowly moved, the thing went and soon I saw it again. The sergeant ran somewhere far ahead of me, not as fast and not as easy as before, but with all human strength and it was visible. He fled like a wounded pilot from German shepherds. Within ten minutes I gradually pursued and equaled the runner, opened the window and shouted:

Oh the fighter! I am in the direction of Zvenigrod, if on the way, sit down, I will drive.

The grimass of the runner's pain was replaced by surprise, and then an unfailing childhood joy. The sergeant rushed to me, and then the forces left him, he just as a puppet stood down. The car smelled nostalgic. At first, the poor man could only hardly breathe, as the dying dog breathes at the veterinarian, then he paused between inhalations and pulled out a whispering sickle:

and Hassie Hassia.
Yes, not for what. You are quiet, don’t talk yet, calm down and rest well. Here is the water bread.

After a few minutes, the traffic was completely dissolved and we flew under sixty. Wet, as if out of the bath, the sergeant was able to speak almost without suffocating:

Thank you very much for picking up. We were moved to another point yesterday, and my mother came to me in the old part, well, Mom. Half a day. The surprise wanted to do. She has a train tonight. Now she has to go back to the station. The commander let me go, and I ran away. I had no time and had no hope of anything. You have to run, right? If not you... sorry, I should...

The sergeant picked up the number and almost shouted at his little phone: “Mom, Mom, I’ll be able to wait! I’m being taken by car, you know? I will surely succeed! Stay there! I kissed.”

I shortened the march of throwing to this fighter by eight kilometers, brought him to the CPC itself, and even saw my mother slightly.

It all seemed to have ended well, but I was so saddened by this story. It cannot be, because it can never be. What kind of aliens have gathered around me? And where did the aliens get the cars with the banner of Victory? None of the hundreds of aliens who passed by picked up an asphyxiating man on Earth. And only, for some reason, I handed myself out with a little bit. Especially sad from the realization that if suddenly, in the middle of the street will catch the heart, then me and any other person, no one will help, because aliens are not helpers to people.

What is this cloudy?
The horoscope says, “The Aquarius can learn about the betrayal of a loved one.”
Are you a waterlord?
The water woman...

I was probably 5 years old, but I remembered this episode very well. My father was sitting on the couch, watching TV and eating a salty seduce, the plate stood next to the couch, in addition to the pieces of seduce there was also milk, as it later turned out. I climbed on the couch and at some point fell from it, hurting my head. I sit and admire. Dad said, “Well, let me see what you have there. Oh well! Yes, you have a hole in your head, your brains have fallen out...” And she shows me the milk. I was just in horror. Then he crawled in my head again and got another “piece of the brain.” I have been gray for five years...

She regularly talks in her dreams. In the morning, of course, she doesn’t remember anything, and asks to record her nightly statements (but I usually scored because of short phrases).

Today, I wake up from a long bump.

The monologue is quite connected. And I hear the direct question: “Is there a country where there is always the sun and there are no clouds and clouds at all? »

I think, right now, I’ll gather material for history. I turn to the cell phone, remove the phone from the charger, turn on the camera, turn to it, supposedly clarify, "what did you ask about the sun? “And the silence.

Okay, I fell asleep again.

I lie back. A few seconds pass and I hear the phrase: “I would have answered if you answered yourself, and not used again for information on the phone...! »

In the morning, of course, I did not remember anything, but we found out that we can be offended even in the unconscious state.

We have a long-established company, with which we rest together, ride to the sea, land, go to each other for guests, etc. There are different things that people have, but I wanted to tell you about one that is why it is the most angry.

There is, therefore, a family couple, we have been communicating with them for 15 years, everything is okay, they both work, they are not far from miserable, but there is some kind of sloth in them. We usually have a pre-defined format for joint trips, then each deals with some items in the menu, and as a result we put everything together and divide it into all equally, this is like a tradition, since student times, but it has remained so until now.

The heroes of this story usually act as follows – guys, and let’s prepare such a dish. The reaction is usually simple – no question, prepare. As a result, when we calculate the total, there are prices for all components with a coefficient of 2 from the prices of the ordinary market, well, and a story in excuse that we are for friends, the best, did not buy so to say. Well, we also bought a cage, what to cook in it, it will remain with us, but there will be a common type, if anyone needs, call, take. They went to the sea together a couple of years ago, in the same way they fell on tourist chairs and a table - it is common, if you need to call someone, take it. Or, for example, we go to the country, someone decided to drive without a car, that would arrive thoroughly, call our heroes - give it up? In response, of course, with pleasure. As a result, when we calculate who owes how much, it turns out that for the road gasoline must be paid in half. There was a case when on the birthday of our hero he called everyone out, but at the same time persistently warned – it is not in honor of the birthday, just gather, sit, talk, drink... It turned out that this manoeuvre was for the menu, as usual, to spread on everyone, because. In the same way, we were surprised at the new home, i.e. everyone gathered, looked at the newly repaired square room, congratulated the owners, drank and ate, and at the end - we counted the menu here, with you so much. There are many episodes of these, against the backdrop of the joy of meeting they are not noticeable, but then you begin to think – no, what exactly, where is the logic, why, why...

In short, the essence is: in the company no one sucks the leg, everyone is sufficiently assured and accomplished, so this behavior surprises everyone, but either because of education or long-standing relationships, or maybe all together, no one wants to talk about it in their face.

He decided to share in connection with the fact that they were gathering again with friends at the country, but the heroes of the story were not there because, as the owner of the country said, they were kidding something with their little stuff. And here everyone seemed to break, because everyone had it boiled, but it was not convenient to say.

My friend told me the case was in February. She finally managed to convince her husband to go shopping. He was a man and didn’t like to go shopping. Everything went well that day - and the spouse was free and the money was... In general, they spent a few hours in the shopping center, bought upgrades (a pair of new shirts, jeans, pants, something else in detail..). We decided then not to go home for a little walk, and at the same time to wash this matter so that my husband's nervous system can be restored after all the numerous samples. They went down to the lake near the TC, found a shop... Further from the words of a friend:

"We sit, therefore, caveat, drink cognac, snack chocolate and admire the surroundings. Suddenly comes a group of men, as it later turned out, lovers of morching. We dress up and so on. There were no more shops nearby, then their clothes and bags began to fold near us. Well, we are not sorry for the place, but at the same time we got free entertainment, watching the brave morge dive into the doorstep. We penetrated them and even offered to bread our cognac for a warm-up. The proposal was accepted at “Ura”. In short, we sat down, talked, discussed different types of hardening. When the cognac was over, the men thanked us, gathered their clothes, said goodbye and went to sunset. And we went home too. We look, and the package with new things like we didn’t have! We looked, and there instead of upgrades are old clothes, towels and wet trousers... Men confused their bags and accidentally took our instead of theirs!

The clothes just got out of the store, a lot of money spent... shit! We drank our cognac and ate our chocolate. In short, we found some cardboard in the snow, wrote a lipstick (there was no more writing) a note asking to return someone else’s things and phone number and left it on the shop. We went home in a sadness, in the thoughts already saying goodbye to their updates.

The Morsi were honest people. One hour later we called and got our package back. Long apologized for the misunderstanding, told how we were sought and accidentally found a note... And for moral damage even offered us a half beer...”

Faith in humanity has been fully restored.