bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №158033
 16.05.2022
I work in resuscitation. Changes for 12 hours. Today is day. It is warm in May. The sunny day. Beautiful weather. The green grass. Flowers of chestnuts and strawberries.

The patient arrived. brought from the fire.

The room smelled shrimp!

How to complete this change now?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №158032
 16.05.2022
We live in Peter. My mother brought meat home 10 years ago, she says she bought pork in a barrel on the corner. She washed, pulled off, said again, here are the bastards, washed with vinegar, and they said it was fresh! Well, they started to roast the strawberries, and they smell terribly. I came out of the room, smelled and said, “You, mother, what do you want to say, but at least it is a stinking pig, and the maximum... Leave the bowl.”

Then I ran to the barrel and asked, not a pig? The mentions are already there. That’s how we barely get Hannibal.

In general, I collected all this good together with pots and scissors and mints carried. How many people have eaten is unknown. It was very long ventilated, the mother green walked, the younger didn't tell anything.

Easy to get rid of, I can say.

Discussions about the split are welcomed

[ + 49 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №158031
 16.05.2022
Let’s change the subject and there will be no war! The apples bloom so beautiful!

The eggs and pears also flourish.

And what fog over the river floated in the morning, you would see.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №158030
 16.05.2022
Today she proved to her daughter that she has 11 fingers. Remember this joke? On the first hand we count the fingers from one to five, and on the second hand we count the fingers in the opposite order - from ten to six. Six plus five is eleven. My smart daughter is still sitting and counting. I do not understand...



Yyy: A ready-made horror script: Mom joked and "proved" to her daughter that she had 11 fingers on her arms. The picture is changing, Mom is bustling in the kitchen. There also comes the daughter with a bloody hand brush and stretches her mother something in a towel - there is a "surplus" finger. And my daughter says, “I just wanted to be normal.”

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №158029
 16.05.2022
Paranoia of Level 1:

“Have I locked the door to my apartment?”



Paranoia of Level 2:

“I closed the door. But can I trust myself?”

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №158028
 16.05.2022
It has been noted that if you often settle with enemies and argue with friends, then the enemies will not get rid of, and the friends will become less.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №158027
 16.05.2022
One day in the kindergarten, we were asked who our parents were working for. I remembered my dad — a nail seller (director of a methyl trading company). And my mom...? And then in my head came a picture from the book: "The driver drives the car." Well of course! Mom takes me to the garden, so the driver! At home, my mom laughed and said, “I’m not a driver, I’m a lawyer! If they ask you again, say so.” The next morning I told her, “My mom is a driver, but she asks me to say she’s a lawyer!”

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №158026
 16.05.2022
Character is when a man is not liked.
If you like it, it’s a sign of attention.

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