bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149133
 17.02.2018
and confident:

"I am sure, if there were a real adult buian, this brave man would sit quieter than the water under the grass."

Passengers linked a bulky airborne debosher on the flight South Sakhalinsk - Moscow. The crew of the Aeroflot flight tried to calm the drunken business-class debusher, but the man struck the pilot. Passengers came to help the stewards. The hooligans were bound by a scotch and placed in the kitchen of the aircraft before landing.
Passengers and crew on a flight from Ireland to New York, Scottish, bound a drunk man who was trying to strangle a woman and shouted that the plane would crash. He was arrested on arrival at John F. Kennedy Airport.
During the flight Moscow-New York, a business class passenger behaved inadequately (likely to be in a state of severe alcoholic intoxication), struck the boarding staff in the face and collided with another business class passenger. Deboshir was given a verbal and written warning, then he was bound by other passengers and after the flight was handed over to the police and the FBI.
Need more examples?


[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №149132
 17.02.2018
I have studied the Gospel for many years. I reviewed each frame, looked backwards, watched without sound, without video, watched on two screens at the same time, watched with maximum contrast, watched in Japan, at a familiar Japanese, watched at night, day, morning, evening.
It took 2000 hours. But I got out.
Evangelion is another mecha-haremnik without a story.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №149131
 17.02.2018
#Sudaryana, go to the cage!

>> It’s interesting why joint eating is considered something refined. and Strong. Or is it a tribal instinct? Like the cows, for example.

It is just assumptions.
1st For the first time as a feeder. The female evaluates the prospects in this area. The male, as appropriate, breaks the feathers.
2nd Per they will have to do this together quite often. Is he crawling and crawling? And suddenly she?

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149130
 17.02.2018
“Bla-Bla-Bla... If at least one such hatred raises a hand on my child, I will not whistle and threaten with heavy bodily, as is common here. I will just make it possible for the lover to live on banditic concepts to be in the place where his concepts are loved and appreciated.

This is understandable, you say what you will do with someone else’s child who will shoot your car out of the pneumatic and beat your eye with a pin. You’ll let go of the rabbit with peace, but not.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №149129
 17.02.2018
X: I bought instant lottery tickets today. To win it was necessary to compose the word "Sochi" from different tickets, but here are the letters c, and, about many times hit, and the letter h never!
Y: Well now you can repeat the word "sosi" several times.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №149128
 17.02.2018
My dad has an engineer, but on off-time this is not extended for some reason. Recently, for example, decided to bake pins in honor of Maslenica and by a miracle did not kill - first decided to rinse the mixers of the mixer under a stream of water, then quickly melt the butter in the microwave (without directly unfolding the foil).

Mother, shrinking from all this, proposed to burn his document on passing the course of safety technology instead of chubbling.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №149127
 17.02.2018
Until the 1940s, boys in Europe were dressed in pink and girls in blue. In 1918, a parent magazine wrote that pink, as more decisive, is better suited to boys, and delicate and gentle blue - to girls.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №149126
 17.02.2018
I am not a programmer. Intelligent programming words in a chat. And they answer me with their smart programming words.
It’s almost like cuddling a cat or cuddling a dog. Funny is. As if we communicate.

[ + 26 - ] [10 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149125
 17.02.2018
In a world where everything is built on the cult of money, to prohibit officials from stealing?! It is easier to walk to the moon.

YYY: A stranger has already been there. The same there too...

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №149124
 17.02.2018
Reality prompts some fucking quests: just: I go along the path, some old man comes to meet and stretches a rod and a bag "support, dear man". I take the items, the old man turns around and repeating something in the spirit of "well you forgive if anything"references right on the road. Upon finishing this case, he turns back and says: "Thank you, man. The Knight. The Count. by MILLORD. All of the stuff" is taken away.

The task accomplished.
A new level is obtained: "the knight, the count, the lord and the whole hunt"

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №149123
 17.02.2018
The weight of doctrine is temporary, the weight of ignorance is forever.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №149122
 17.02.2018
The 90s. After the army, in search of my solstice under the sun, I went to France to try myself in the Foreign Legion. There were not so many people from the USSR, but there was always someone with whom you could translate a few words on the great and powerful. After training, I and two other guys were given instructions at a company located in another city. But something was confused in the office and we had to wait for the evening waiting for the morning train at the local station.

All three turned out to be Russian-speaking: Misha-Belarus was a two-meter giant with a figure under the name, red Chechen Marat, well, and actually I. We were not given a suck, but we wanted to eat and drink even more. The railway stations in Europe are poor – neither cafes nor shops, only a couple of virtually empty shopping machines. The security guard found out where the night brewery is, where they went, capturing the last couple of bottles of beer from the station machine. Find the address quickly. Misha pulled an open bottle of beer into the chest of an Arab coming out of the door with incomprehensible French inscriptions, and asked, "paria, allo, bar here?" The Arab was confused and rushed back to the door, from where he returned in 10 seconds with a crowd of crazy compatriots.

The bar, the bar spotted the bearded natives, surrounding us with a crowd. It doesn’t seem to be a bar, Marat said, and at the same moment he was hit in the head by a hand stretched out from the second row of Arabs. We were hit from all sides and if possible, we would probably get away, but the narrow French streets are very contrasting with the width of the Russian soul, you will not be able to move on a tank here. had to beat.

We were able to beat. "To die from the hand of the Arab copters is boring" on the move, O. Bender Mish translated and as if the cartoon giant Balu distributed opleuches to the Arabs. The Arabs flowed through the river and divided around Misha, lying on the left and on the right. When I saw in front of my face the fall of the perfect monkey's cries, shaken by anger, I forcefully directed a fist at her. The mouth crumbled and disappeared. The Arabs whispered and continued to come out of the door of the institution. The forces were not equal. But here, with the scream "The Russians do not surrender", the Chechen successfully put a pipe, removed from the wall, in the most dense of the black brotherhood. The crowd was sharply halved. Someone locked behind the door, and the rest walked through the street.

It was a wonderful hunt. The street became more and more like the bed of bearded cats. But all the good ends once notified us on both sides of the street sirens of police cars. Carefully walking and, possibly, crossing the Arabs crawling on the shovel, we approached the patrol car. The gendarmes relaxed. With the smiles of the Zen, they watched the battlefield, where the compatriots who were forced to weep and cry in blood and spots.

After brief explanations, we were released, leading us to the other side of the building where the bar was actually located. At the farewell, the gendarme laughed and said, "And there, you no longer go - there the Arabs have a 24-hour library."

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №149121
 17.02.2018
Living in the forest among wild animals, Pyatchok built an ideal scheme of personal safety. He ran quickly, was prudently thin, had a bear in his friends who loved honey more than pork, the only one in the woods was armed with a rifle and could fly away on a balloon at the shocher.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №149120
 17.02.2018
The Flower Day

What a nice boy you have!
This is a girl! She is in a dress!
But in the blue!

(The unimaginable dialogue)

[ + 43 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №149119
 17.02.2018
Twenty years ago, a calendar for rural areas with a candidate’s biography was printed at some governor’s elections. It was written in the genre of "soppy in sugar" and began as follows: "Born in 1958 in a working family. My father died in the war.”

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №149118
 17.02.2018
“No weapons, no hatred, no cruelty”

The Frenchman who admitted in the book of "the robbery of the century", stood before the court
......

The Societe Generale bank robbery in 1976 became legendary in France.
The robbers entered the warehouse through an eight-meter tunnel.
which was removed from the channels.

The thieves were impressed by their scale. The tunnel was drilled for several weeks, strengthening
its walls with concrete and installing lighting. The robbers moved to
The rubber boats. In order to open the bank cells, the robbers took about 30 people with them.
Balloons with acetylene and burners. Criminals were caught in the warehouse on Friday, July 16, and
For several days, cells with values were devastated. About 50 million were stolen.
Francs (approximately 24 million euros in today’s money).

On July 20, the robbers left the bank with money and valuables.
Arriving police found a note containing words in the warehouse.
“No weapons, no hatred, no cruelty.”
...

First comment to the article:

I am also a thief of the century.
The fund of capremont in the Russian Federation is the robbery of the century.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №149117
 17.02.2018
What is the use of fighters? What they produce?

About the same thing that the needles of the wild produce - not a lot of hunters bite off his butt, you can not worry a lot about their hospitals, schools and factories.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna