bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №141450
 18.05.2017
Midnait: And I once broke the system – I took a pedophile into the dark forest.
Yori: In the sense?! to
Midnait: In the forest went (14 years), for berry juice. Uncle dressed in fashionable shoes and glasses, in the woods as if he had never walked at all, on every lawn he shrugged and saw the path poorly (vision). Then I started... I ran away.
I don’t know how he came back out of that forest 😉

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №141449
 18.05.2017
Oh, when a beginner driver prays loudly, driving a car, rolling out of a parking lot or going out to the main car - it's okay! I, just getting the licenses, was the only person in the firm who could take the workers to the installation, well, all the drivers went whoever, so it went. I was driving and nervous. The guys were sitting dark and grim, and the most kind said that I shouldn’t worry, they wore diapers.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №141448
 18.05.2017
Spring medical examination
The doctor says
This is this good.
Throw them off the rock.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №141447
 18.05.2017
To this "And even a five-year-old child will collect it, there are all connectors completely different!"

You know, when I was working in a computer store, I saw this. And the operating system, on the contrary, inserted the processor into the wrong socket. When there is power and no knowledge, all connections are suitable.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №141446
 18.05.2017
XXX: There is such an opinion - to send all the senses to mine mine fields...
YYY: If there are enough, they will be demined.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №141445
 18.05.2017
A fellow of my brother was shot while trying to use a weapon in defense against the robbery of his country home. He didn’t really want to break up with the car... For a new car he earned somewhere in two weeks. If he had no weapons, he would have survived.
YYY: And he’t have a car, much more.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №141444
 18.05.2017
We are born to let the elves become dust.

Our Lord has ruled the world.

And Sauron gave us rings and wings,

Instead of the heart, I gave nothing.

Songs of Nashville

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №141443
 18.05.2017
Well, another child grew up: from the evening she long packed the falling tooth in a clean toothbrush, hid deeper under the pillow, and in the morning jumped to the training in panic (admission to the certificate on the next belt), not even looking for money. The question is, and why the tooth fairy stumbled to get, and then carefully back, stumbling all this complicated farm?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №141442
 18.05.2017
From Picaboo:

Vanesmen
I don’t know, but I guess it’s an emulator.

Nifer
Emulator is when you completely copy another OS. A wine, to speak roughly, translates commands for the wire into commands for the linux. Let’s say there is a conditional command for the kernel of the wire "go", and for the linux, this same command sounds like "go". Wayne reads the "go" command, but Linouche is already sending "pizzu". somehow so.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №141441
 18.05.2017
The average Krasnoyarsk family with a child counted 40 thousand "free" rubles:
Guest 10: what to do with the decree and "decree"? What is the point of counting the income of two adults, if one of them has been in the decree for about three years and receives copies (if it receives)? Is the rental or mortgage expenses included? It feels like a family spending 5 kg of rice per month and a bag of potatoes as clothes for all family members.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №141440
 18.05.2017
Avatar Larf Croft: Why do you write to me in a female genre?
Avatar SpongeBob: because a normal man will not put a grandmother on an avatar or anime. Or you are a grandmother. Or a gay.
Avatar of Anonymous: that is, in your opinion, normal 35-year-old men on the avatar put a sponge bob?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №141439
 18.05.2017
To the shit about Ramesses and Caesar and even with them...

Who told you that you didn’t eat meat? Meat eating is the main sign of belonging to the aristocracy. For example, in Rome, without the pig’s blood sausage, it was impossible to imagine anything other than patricia, plebey! And the sauce of Harum was prepared from dried raw fish (they loved it, yes). And even by Caesar, he generally - before the power in Rome to take Gallium conquered. So I can say 100% that there was no potatoes, no cucumbers, not even carrots. In addition, imagine an efficient Roman soldier or commander who sits on the peach for weeks for months (there is not before the war, just not to get rid of it). So, vegan gentlemen, before making a heresy, even learn the match. Well, and health to you, let's live to 50 years... medicine is better than then.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №141438
 18.05.2017
The birds are vegans.
Did you know that many birds eat vegetable food and chickens are fed by insects? Protein needs vary at different ages. Food is dark. Some nutritionists suggest giving up carbohydrates (including fruits) in favor of protein foods. Others suggest excluding animal food (protein?) of the ration. The truth is, you need to eat less. One of the longevity researchers identified such a pattern - no matter what diet a person adheres to, moderation in food, motor activity and a positive attitude to life is important.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №141437
 18.05.2017
Share investment fund "Free stone makers", do you say?
I personally printed business cards for the Grand Master, his mason and the secretary of the Great (Massonic) Lodge of Russia. I still have the masks.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №141436
 18.05.2017
When you stretch one socks on your left leg, the other automatically becomes right) And instantly, regardless of the distance between your legs. This is the essence of quantum connectivity.)

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №141435
 18.05.2017
The only thing that makes me get up is the alarm clock I recorded for myself. There I speak with a dark voice "Poverty... Dependence on others. The Solitude. and bombardment. The disease. Jirnottaa" Well, and it’s all in that spirit. It inspires me and makes me move. But one day I did not sleep alone, the alarm sounded in the morning and everyone woke up.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №141434
 18.05.2017
Y to Y! When in the first class, at the teacher's question, I honestly said that my mother did not know how to cook, I was embarrassed, mocked and accused of ungratefulness, in general, led to tears. But at home there was a very limited choice of dishes. A friend’s mother was an engineer, but a genius of cooking. They had a house, a table. All the friends of my friend's brother's friends ate there too. Less than 5 liters of soup pot, they never cooked, and every day. Now that I recall how I had done everything I wanted, I am ashamed. We just fed up two engineers with a Soviet engineering salary...none of the parents of this childhood came to the mind to give money or bring products...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №141433
 18.05.2017
Anabioze: If I had a name, I would have called my daughter Ada.
Kiro455: The graveyard of Hell is strong
ykropina2: And I would call Rice... Paradise’s Tombing, sounds intriguing)
SilentiaRay: It is obvious that in this case it is worth having two daughters! :D

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №141432
 18.05.2017
and worrying:

When in the supermarket at the end of May you buy apples of a new crop, then in captivity you start to think: What year is this crop? It becomes somewhat worrying...

The Earth in addition to the northern hemisphere, there is a southern, and there, such a surprise, also grow apples, but unlike the apples of the northern hemisphere they ripen in March-April.


[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №141431
 18.05.2017
No war has been won by the Shinshill army.

and nothing. For all of them, one bitten white beast took revenge. Even in excess.

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