bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125672
 19.03.2016
A "genital director" is a p*ed director or a p*ed director?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №125671
 19.03.2016
Judging by the mind of the incomprehensible one-bit "logic" of the type "who is not for Spartacus - he is for Dynamo", which passes through every post about feminism - in the heads of 99.9% of the population does not fit the simple fact that the legal unprotectedness of a normal guy against a warrior and the legal unprotectedness of a normal girl against a faint man can coexist at the same time, which they do. As in general, the legal insecurity of people against the wretches in our painful times.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №125670
 19.03.2016
to this:

Want equality – protect the rights of all citizens equally, without dividing them into groups.

I will not comment on your passage about rape at all - it is worth a little bit to dive into the question, and you will learn what women are going through who decided to apply for rape.

Regarding equality: you are still specialists, for example, on cancer say: you want, say, health - treat all diseases! What did you get on cancer?

Yes, it is necessary to protect the rights of children, and pensioners, and color groups, and many other violated or unable to stand up for themselves groups. But one organization or movement will not be able to cover everything – it will spread forces and will not help solve any of the problems. Therefore, feminists are only concerned with women’s rights, and they are not obliged to report to anyone why they don’t protect men, retirees, and dogs thrown out. The Comprehension?

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №125669
 19.03.2016
8:05 am, the developer room in one large media holding. Telephone call: "Hello, you are concerned about the prosecutor".

In general, the developer does not seem to sit down, but his eye is a little shaken. And the press service of the prosecutor’s office, I hope, will begin to present itself in the form and record the phone of the editorial office without mistakes.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №125668
 19.03.2016
What do you know about contextual advertising? Under the news of the crashed aircraft hangs airlines advertisement for the purchase of cheap air tickets. I have everything.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №125667
 19.03.2016
I beat in the kitchen with this zephyr, all in the syrup, the walls in the spray of fruit purple... And Lesana (3 years old) walks pleased, glued out of the Play-doh candy and says: "I make sweets, zephyrs, mmm, delicious!" I ask: "How is my mom?" And she: "No, I get it". I was riding, the mood got up :)

[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125666
 19.03.2016
I met in a sanatorium with a neighbor who was expecting a fourth child. The first two from the civil husband, the third does not know from whom, the fourth also did not know. I also asked, but is there only one way to get pregnant? I almost drowned. I know only one person in this case. It reduced the number of suspects from three to two.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №125665
 19.03.2016
The men went on a journey and decided to take a small generator with them for the evening, so that it would not be boring. They tie him to the donkey and go to the mountains. It dimmed. On the way came to them the thought: a working generator. And they brought him straight on the Ishak, and he broke from the sound of the working unit. They can’t catch him. They meet men and ask that they did not see the Ishak, and they answer: there is no Ishak, but what a fool on a motorcycle without a lighthouse is riding there.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №125664
 19.03.2016
The idea for the game: to become a conductor and drop a little LSD on each happy ticket.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №125663
 19.03.2016
I will tell you, comrade, as an opera. We have one or two claims for 30 real crimes. And the rest of the class "oh, did I give it to him", "we’ve been together for three years, and he doesn’t marry me!", "do you leave me? I will avenge you on the goat!" or "he’s a rich guy and I’m a simple girl, at least I’ll make a little money". Think about it, remember when you’re going to have sex next time ;)

Here is the confirmation. A raped woman comes into a lie, and the opera wraps her, well, he is more aware that it was. For example, if the rapist is a husband, he will never be put in place, whatever he does there.
Such revelations "the guards of order" is full of the internet, no one thinks that it is something bad. And then they ask, why do you, butterflies, lack feminism?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №125662
 19.03.2016
Employee in the office (about the courier):
What kind of man can only go to one place? I need someone who can go many times and everywhere!

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №125661
 19.03.2016
to this:

Exclusively for the sake of creating a new shit.
We had snow and now under the windows of each house a flat layer of bulls, bags, rotten wraps, strawberries, glass pieces, condoms. Used tampons, pads and diapers are found. Sometimes you can see thrown-out pillows / blankets / curtains.
And at the beginning of April we are threatened to arrange a Saturday party, cleaning up the pigs that have wiped it all. So why not calculate these pigs (from which windows it flies out) and not push them to clean up behind them?

In Minsk the case was at the end of this winter. Comrade under the windows of the multi-storey began to appear bags of garbage.
In the house opposite, a friend, two cameras were placed.
I watched almost 70 hours of video.
Gandalf smashed our windows... And we went in with our neighbors...

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №125660
 19.03.2016
Discussion of the accident on RU-CHP:
- col-vo toot on a square meter in Chelyab is stuck) they are there that - in the factory stamped?)
Did you not know? The famous Chelyabinsk Toyoty Factory.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №125659
 19.03.2016
We have a manager with the name Pavlik. It is clear that no one calls her by her name, but the story is not about it. There is also a manager with the usual name Petrov. So, if they work together, then this day is called "Petropavlik day."

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №125658
 19.03.2016
Advertising for the manufacture of custom "squeezers with the number of your car" should take place under the slogan "pro**l keys - about and the car".

Although no one prohibits to do with the number of someone else’s car, and replace the slogan with “protect your psyche” – tame someone else’s.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №125657
 19.03.2016
Manuel Ramsayka> A girl in her pillow was crying for me for 5 months, and I didn’t even know about it
<Manuel Ramsayka> No good fuck
Manul Ramsayka> life, why you don’t send push-up notifications on events that I’ve signed up for.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №125656
 19.03.2016
Well, let’s say we have a cat and a hammer. The cat is a red lazy cane, playing the role of an additional couch pillow all day long. He plays well, from the heart. The hamak was a little bad, he got a skull injury and went crazy. At night, he runs out of the cage and scares my wife, pretending to be a cockroach. We were afraid (and some hoped) that someday the cat would catch him and eat him. Oh how is it!
I caught it, why not...
An hour after the escape, the children found and took away a confused and humiliated hamster from the cat. Totally entirely licked.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №125655
 19.03.2016
He enters the office and sends a message:
- The director is going here, will understand why the problem has not been solved so far.
Everyone got somewhat tense, and the other employee suddenly begins to sing:
The boss goes and the boss goes. Everything is waiting for something...
Everyone knew what :(

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №125654
 19.03.2016
It is simple:

A big aunt goes to the gym and always has cowards, cuddly, sometimes strings.
Then she complains that after her class, she’s all over there.
The question is, the fucking thing to wear such things on training?

As one of my friends told me, when she cried out to go for bread:
I’ll go out, and suddenly there’s a prince, and I’m in cages and without a haircut.and "

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №125653
 19.03.2016
It seems that a rural librarian in a deaf Russian depth does more for the spirituality of the country than the entire government combined.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna