bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №141484
 19.05.2017
(xxx works in a large gaming company)
The programmers are such programmers. I get out of their conversations. I went to our dining room - the bugs are discussing what new car the boss has and apparently things in the company are going the same way, since the machine is cheaper than two lam.

I went to the dining room on the floor of the artists - loudly, almost before the fisting, the animators discuss the current policy, and the artists manage to do everything at once depending on who likes it.

xxh: went to the top: in silence and tranquility, the team leads reluctantly discusses the features of the cache systems, what exactly and how they need to spray for the project. A dozen young boys look into his mouth, two other timlids rattle their foreheads and clarify unknown places for them.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №141483
 19.05.2017
Thanks to Robert L. Stevenson, the oldest of the famous peoples that inhabited Scotland, the bad reputation of the slopes, who preferred to die than to make at least a modest contribution to the world culture, was established.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №141482
 19.05.2017
feedback to the WiFi router ASUS RT-AC5300 (~23 kWh) in one of the retail networks:
Benefits: If you put a raw egg in the middle, it will boil!
Disadvantages: The product category was selected incorrectly - move to the multi-factory.
The overall impression: Super!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №141481
 19.05.2017
At work, the programmer told that a salutation in Mario happens if at the end of the round the timer ends on the number 1, 3 or 6. And my older brother told me that the salute was started by the spectators who watched me play. If you like it, it will be six.

[ + 32 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №141480
 19.05.2017
C is swimming. I wake up at 7:30 a.m. because I want to drink. I usually have a cup of water or juice on the cover table.
C: Generally speaking, for some reason Jack was in the cup.
I don't think I'll go to the office today :D
E: You’re not driving, what do you have with a cup?
C: I also thought so and opened the beer :D

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №141479
 19.05.2017
The most common office of the Soviet type, in the middle of the day. A girl enters the office and asks:

Can I see Sergei Sergeevich?

Having received the answer that he went out, he clarifies: “That is, he’s just sitting here, just gone out? Or I was told two sets of numbers - 521 and 773, I forgot that from this phone number, and what - the office, went to check randomly.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №141478
 19.05.2017
Q: What is the composition of the book?
The composition of the book - 100% cellulose
xxx: on cellulose ink composition printed
Would you like the content?
Theme: EU

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №141477
 19.05.2017
10 years ago I watched 2 retirees barely fight, discussing the advantages and disadvantages of a greenhouse and a greenhouse.
It doesn’t matter what to fight about. About the corals finish - you can talk about the greenhouses.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №141476
 19.05.2017
For most women, a thick ass is just good :-)
yyy: But sometimes it goes straight into the shoulders without narrowing in the middle :)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №141475
 19.05.2017
The driver who ran into a crowd in New York said he had “heard voices.”

of naturally. The Voice. From the crowd: Be careful! Stand up! Where are you, Muddy?! to

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №141474
 19.05.2017
One man in a joke to someone else's throw suggested the topic of eating a cornflower with cream. The shit really started.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №141473
 19.05.2017
bfz: Why do cigarette packs have such awful inscriptions and pictures? My kids are smoking! by Facepalm
I was once forced to smoke a pack of cigarettes.
I don’t smoke the package now.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №141472
 19.05.2017
From Fresh to Fresh

What is your hobby?
and cooking.
Are you preparing?
and em.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №141471
 19.05.2017
Announcement of the Secretary (c:) in the corporate chat:
After lunch there will be no meeting.
XHH: What happened?
C: The boss came from the tax office and everything changed cardinally.
Irina, well, your mother, now everything is going to change.
Learn Russian, learn Russian!! to

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №141470
 19.05.2017
I bought the injury to protect myself from the hooligans.
WOW: Well and how?
The hologram has been removed (((

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №141469
 19.05.2017
Yesterday evening I stood in the kitchen, baking a potato, and unexpectedly opening the lid I stuck to the pot standing next to it. Because the cover of the times of the USSR, large and iron, it issued a lengthy gong and I automatically issued to the whole apartment "Alexander Druz will be answered", and there is a wild rust from the street, and a scream "You are good." To say that I wore nothing to say, the 11th floor is still. A neighbor smoked in the window.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №141468
 19.05.2017
Coming to the interview for the executive director's place such a tough lady is good in the years. A magnificent list of services - the director of one enterprise, another, third, the chief of the shop... In general, the conversation went well. And here our general asks the question:

“I see, the last ten years you have been working in the lab... And we have a horde of harsh men here, never intelligent. Are you sure you will manage?

The lady looks at him over her glasses and says:

I started my career as a primary school teacher. Are you sure that your harsh men are worse than three dozen children who do not want to learn, and the knowledge in them must be crushed?

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №141467
 19.05.2017
After the ban of Russian sites in Ukraine finally became clear why Ukrainians visa-free. After the introduction of visa-free Ukrainians will be able to travel to Warsaw to sit in VKontakte.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №141466
 19.05.2017
If the program is proprietary, you have to be silently prepared for what it will do with your data the most terrible things you can imagine.
YYY: Keep going, I’ve got up.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №141465
 19.05.2017
In order to create a visibility of work, you need to at least know how the work looks.

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