bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №153029
 19.09.2019
There were two items in the dress code. and :)

You can only come to work in what you can get to work and not be arrested.

If the employee has not washed for a long time and this already interferes with others, anyone can leave a paper with the inscription "Pora" on his desk and the employee who has found such a paper on his desk should understand that it is time to wash.

[ + 11 - ] Comment quote №153028
 19.09.2019
A friend was asked to change a car (bmw) for two skins of a tiger.

Yyy: If there are BMW skins will appear themselves.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №153027
 19.09.2019
We stay until night at work. The nerve, the nerve. All angry and hungry. One of the employees, confident in her irresistibility, gets all the male employees with phrases such as: "You are what a notebook, and you will give it to me?" Or “Wow, what a pen! I just need that.” In that spirit.

Mostly everyone was just angry. Take what you want, but don’t bother.

One programmer for a long time silently endured an abundance of such attention. And then this lady calls a young husband (after the wedding and two weeks have not passed). She, wrapping in her hands another planned trophy and at the same time something muddy in the tube, says to the programmer:

What a beautiful marker! Will you give it to me?

On which he, bowing closer to the telephone, gives:

For what you did to me yesterday, I’ll give you everything you want!! to

How we did not break the tables with our foreheads after that is hard to understand, and the scream "DURAAK!!!" It was also heard in the neighborhood office.)

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №153026
 19.09.2019
Russia should be proud if the children of the American and British elites were studying in Moscow. Or at least the Russians.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №153025
 19.09.2019
The daughter was asked in Russian to write a work on the subject "Ivan's characteristics in folk tales". Naturally, as a normal father, not a stranger to folk folklore, I took part in the process.

My relationship with my daughter looked like this:

Ivan is the son of the king. Age 17-33 years.

Home education is not finished. Recognized as a fool. The oldest and middleest son of the story.

Completely inadequate - promises to deal with the Wonder-Judas, strikes the oven, rides a wolf, talks to a squid.

He is not married because of a manic desire to kiss a frog he accidentally hit with a arrow.

Among the wives, in addition to the above-mentioned frog, the multi-married man tried to marry Vasilis the Wise, Vasilis the Beautiful. and married. and simultaneously.

Wasted - paid for nonsense with half a kingdom and a horse.

He repeatedly beat him and broke his egg.

He died with one of his wives on the same day, having lived in this nonsense long and happily.

Two days later, looking into the notebook, I saw “Rewrite the work without the participation of the father!”

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №153024
 19.09.2019
On the branches of power some are worthy not to sit, but to hang.

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