She: Do you have a car?
I : No
It is bad :-(
Do you have 4th size breasts?
She: No, because I have a car.

Two boys aged eight. After 5 minutes of studying the sludge, they ask: "What are those phones selling?"
I look, the bodies lie on the shelf, half already empty inside (dispersed into spare parts), and I ask, “Why are they you?” They are not workers."
"Nowu... We will sell the Tajiks, say the battery of the village. We will get money". I shrugged over them, gave a couple of tubes in sight.
"On, consider a gift" I thanked and left.
A good friend arrives in 15 minutes. He pulls one of these pipes and asks: “Well, there’s a battery or charging, the phone has discharged.”
And sad and funny...

Butterfly - I kissed the cat today, and he went and flirted ><
Rommi - The Prince changed his mind to become *ROFL*

Our cook in the dining room acts on the principle:"Interestingly, will they eat it?and "

If your child runs to you screaming:
"That is how! I have glass in my nose!and "

Don’t worry, maybe his nose is frozen.

Sitting on a pair, the group complains that she is sick.
I go to the lecturer.

I - Leave Marina home, she's sick.
L – And why do you care so much about Marina, isn’t it your fault sometimes that she’s sick?

I am under the blanket.)
She: What are you doing??? O_O
he: ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

XXX: I thought here... well, they have these equal duties.
A woman with PMS is terrible.
A female in the army with a PMS is a shit full.
She hates everyone and has a machine.
xxx: but the machine is still fine
xxx: what if she is on duty in the bunker behind the ballistic missile launch system?
XXX: This is the fucking thing.

Omen: I am a licensed electrical system engineer studying quantum physics and psychology of emotions and ways to manipulate them. Engaged in cooking and improving his body to the Apollo standards. Working in a prestigious international company, I sit in the office at 3 p.m. and cut snowflakes out of paper.

Shmaser: I am interested
Shmaser: How lesbian couples live
Shmaser: if everyone has a shit in their head

I installed a cat at home, and it was installed with attachments:
Kotoglot - an application for asking your cat.
2.cottodryh - applications for caring for the cat in sleep mode.
Kotosprint - applications to quickly overcome the distance from room to kitchen (after which appendix 1 is usually included).
4.cottoscite - the default parameter is in {scat everywhere}, after a long adjustment can be changed to {scat in the bowl}.
(not to be confused with Appendix 3) used after Appendix 4 Paragraph 1.
Everything is worth a beautiful wool decoration and a loud crawler. Good version of the cat.

You know who I am.
Would you say: Halo?

Today, by the force of a fifty ruble note, I forced the terminal to reboot, and in the state of reboot, to plunge out not only my fifty ruble paper, but also three ruble papers.

If you can:
Start your day without an exciting portion of coffee.
always be joyful and not paying attention to pain and discomfort;
- to refrain from complaints and not to tire people of their problems;
Eat one and more food every day and be grateful for it.
Understand a loved one when he does not have enough time for you.
- to miss the accusations from your loved one when things go wrong not by your fault;
calmly accept criticism;
Treat your poor friend as well as your rich friend.
Without lies and deceit.
Dealing with stress without medication.
Relax without drinking.
Honestly say that you have no prejudice against skin color, religious beliefs, politics or sexual orientation.

That means you have reached the level of development of your dog.
c) Tyranny

For common sense, we accept the opinion of the majority.
Bakutkin

She worked as a driver in a taxi. Order has arrived. The manager tells the client, “Come out in five minutes. You are waiting for the “Mazda”, blue metal. In the words of the driver:
I stand. Waiting for the client. A woman comes out of entrance. She walked around the car twice, then cautiously approached the open window and asked:
“Are you Blue Vitalik?”

Who doesn’t usually want to pay home?
The one who realizes that she has done nothing.

XXX: The Duma proposes to eliminate GIBDD
Yyy: GIBDD proposes to eliminate the Duma

I received books in the university library. One of them was an extremely troubled type of prehistoric exemplar. In the process of a detailed inspection of the house (to try to understand how to work with this) was found the inscription on the back cover:

"God, help me to glue this rubble..." :)

A man with a camera and a aunt with a microphone walk around the universe, and get all the question "why do you think journalists are so often killed in Russia?".