bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №98210
 20.05.2014
The morning of work:
XX: I am tired
XX: I want love
XX: so that for a century
Better to sleep.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №98209
 20.05.2014
And yet in non-Russian my favorite - the phrase "here you are holy prostate!"

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №98208
 20.05.2014
by ZANUDA:
to this:
In connection with the emerging situation in the economy, the government of the Russian Federation has prohibited the use in the media of the phrase "COMMUNICATE END AND END".
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh? to
As a propaganda of homosexuality. andquot;
WOW - [ runs a fork with a peelmen ]

What is DIBILISM? The established phrases, objects and phenomena are not propaganda of anything exactly until they are prohibited under this pretext. Only then do people begin to develop associations, which would otherwise only appear in one or two possessors of bold fantasy.
Could they even ban the rainbow?

What kind of debility is it to take jokes for real news? Sometimes it’s better to sneak before writing.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №98207
 20.05.2014
I took the film mechanics exam in the army, yes, in the 80s, they required a certificate that I could work with a complex technique in which there were many rotating parts. No, the machine was already given and the shootings were...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №98206
 20.05.2014
From Habr:

XX: I think it is not written, rather mechanically than consciously.

Freud, Göring, Röntgen, Angstrom, Pasteur, Roerich, and Goebbels have just settled. Schrödinger, Montesquieu, Chebychew and Goethe were more fortunate — they, however, are not all, but they are pronounced through “yo”. But Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy began to suffer from this even while he was alive.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №98205
 20.05.2014
News from Radio:
52% of Russians believe that federal channels show objective information, and there is no reason not to believe them
Record amount of currency: 7 billion. The Russians bought the dollar only in April.

Is that the other 48%?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №98204
 20.05.2014
and flare:
Binda Winda is pain and suffering.

Delinsky is:
Bindy of India. It sounds like a tumba.

and flare:
As it sounds, so it works.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №98203
 20.05.2014
Harsh men make the installation, pull the cables around the building. It is necessary to drill the supporting wall, after the winter the wall is damp, the storm is constantly stuck. They made a hole, they can't get a burr, they decided to knock out a hammer to get from the reverse side of the wall, they stopped the burr by the very tail, they can't get. They thought, they took the second thunder shorter, they wanted to push the first thunder, they planted the second thunder in the wall. I make a laughing attack, I say, you have a third bull. They cried and caught him there.

[ + 21 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №98202
 20.05.2014
Well, now you can wash out of paper in the toilet! Finally come up with a scarf that can wipe your ass out!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №98201
 20.05.2014
here here :

Alexandra
I see, I see, I see

Alexandra
He came, he saw, he won – or, simply, the pup.

— — — —

I saw the vici.

You saw the wine, you saw it, you won it.

[ + 14 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №98200
 20.05.2014
We go with my father from the morgo, I sit, switch the radio in search of music, suddenly I hear a piece of advertisement ". at the address of the machinery 22, we care about your health!" And everything would be fine, but we returned just from the machinery street, house 22. Worrying about X.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №98199
 20.05.2014
In connection with the ban of the GPS system on the territory of the Russian Federation, as well as in connection with technical problems in the work of the domestic GLONASS system, Roskomnadz reminds: "Moh grows on the northern side of the tree."

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №98198
 20.05.2014
To fun moments about "people’s trails"
In our city, the institute around the territory has updated the fence. In a solid one, from the springs in 2m height. At the same time, the "people’s path" was removed from the university to the communities. On the first evening in one of the sections, two bars (cm in diameter) were bended for convenience. After a few days, the entire section disappeared. The chief was fiercely outraged, but against the poem you did not deny and made a bowl there.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №98197
 20.05.2014
to this:
Ukraine offers Russia $15 billion in debt to pay for gas.

Listen, Gene, let me take things, and you take me.

What a simple people we have. Russia will be borrowed, and Gazprom will be paid for gas.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №98196
 20.05.2014
here here :
My friend recently went to the ear throat nose. The doctor had an eye name.
— — —
In the army, in the training we had a soldier by the name of Rjadova, and another with the name of a relative. In the evening, when the senior arrived at the letter "R", it was fun:
The Order Order?! to
and I!
Ordinary relatives?! to
and I!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №98195
 20.05.2014
How to help a guy who buys alcohol in the pharmacy?

____________

Alcohol is an antiseptic.
How to help people who buy an antiseptic in food and consider it a reason to take it inside?

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №98194
 20.05.2014
From the forum:
The guy bought a bicycle Headliner (class Ashan-bike, read - shining daylight). "Please give me some advice. The front three stars - only switch two. The back 6 stars do not switch at all. Please tell me - the bicycle should be configured when buying or it should be done by the buyer? I read the instructions - I didn't understand anything at all.Maybe someone knows what to do?
The answer killed:
How to help a guy who buys a bicycle in a grocery store?
How to help a guy who buys food in a bicycle store?
How to help a guy who buys computers in a business store?
How to help a guy who buys alcohol in the pharmacy?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №98193
 20.05.2014
From comments to post about walking on the rails

1st Going along the rails (purely for interest) can be no... meters 5 probably. Then it is boring and you can fall and stand on the asphalt It is much more interesting to put something on the rails to splash.

2nd “It is much more interesting to put something on the rails to spit it up,” Leo Tolstoy said, writing to Anna Karenina.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №98192
 20.05.2014
Yesterday, it turns out, the circus at the theater flew away:)))))

In the meaning?

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

* Reference to *

I didn’t even know there was a circus.

He also gained popularity when he left.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №98191
 20.05.2014
Wear whatever you want, this chicken has all the arguments at the level of "it's stupid," and when asked to give a thorough answer and refer not to their emotions, but to an authoritative opinion, they fall into a stupor. After looking into the topic, after reading the forums, I come to the conclusion that the thought expressed there, all these terrifying combinations of socks with sandals, "spiritual rich virgins - fools", corresponds to reality.
------------
There are no arguments, because no one has written about the rest of the appearance. Well ridiculous look classic pants, shirt with a tie and sandals with socks. Especially in almost all offices air conditioners, for example, I come in sandals and change my shoes, as it banally blows on my feet. All the others who write that they wear sandal socks are most likely wearing jeans/shorts/bridges/shirts and are not sitting in one place. Please wear as you feel comfortable :) About the girls the same, with shifoon saraphan will be ridiculous socks with open barefoot. A business shirt and shirt, well, directly require thin socks.By the way, about children, for some reason no one complains, almost all children wear socks with sandals:)

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