bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №116363
 21.07.2015
boomol391: what’s new? As a family?
We are going down to the level of the smaller brothers.
bogomol391; what is it?
I came home from a food store. A cat and a young man meet me. The cat - the legs are rubbed, the younger - the legs are grabbed. He fed the cat – he sits licking his legs... he gave the younger chocolate – he sits licking his fingers. The cat fell asleep where it fell, the younger nearby rolls.
bogomol391: well, can he learn something good from the cat? They are pure.
Tronus: It is so. But I look at something like the cat licking its eggs...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №116362
 21.07.2015
- I am 100 times eating, and the feeling that I stand, I want to smoke out.
You know this is self-deception.
of course. I never go out to smoke.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №116361
 21.07.2015
My new neighbors in the country have two cats "sphinx", a red cat, and a gray cat.
Periodically I come to the country to repair the car, and always the neighbor's grey
At this moment, the cat jumps under the cap on the engine and watches my work.
So the cat has a second name - "Gray, give the key to 13!".
The man! Regardless of the cat.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №116360
 21.07.2015
The year 94 was - still lived in Russia. I sit at home – I clean the gasoline, Walter PP, I don’t touch anyone. A bell at the door. Well, I’m going to open, and I picked up the gun machinefully with me (without intention, really).
And on the threshold such a smiling young man - looks me straight in the eyes and so with enthusiasm: Hello! My name is Nikita! I am a Christian! Do you care about God?(During this speaking, his gaze descends below, below... - stumbles on a gun... Pause)
I see you are not interested, thank you, goodbye.
p.s And why is he so — I may have just wondered...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №116359
 21.07.2015
FFF guys!
FFF: Who is in Touch?

Zzz: I tell him about energy levels in quantum theory, and he...
zzz: well goo

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №116358
 21.07.2015
We have managed to buy a batch of cystics, the serialists of which are not included in the cystic itself).

And yes, go to Yuh with your weddings, your ovulations, and your socks.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №116357
 21.07.2015
Lardo: I picked out candy from the child yesterday. I think from now on I am an official certified supporter of the forces of evil. Therefore, I ask that you give me the number of young virgins and livers!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №116356
 21.07.2015
(Everyone is on vacation, the server is still)
- Fuck, without loading, the server N works straight very sharply.
What was removed from him?
and people.

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №116355
 21.07.2015
Eat your mother, men, if the babies are such brain fucking disgusting unbarred creatures from the planet Venus, and you are not such, go and collect a petition in support of same-sex marriages, live with each other. The brains are whole, the baby water as much as you want - the man of the man will understand, the money in the family from both sides is steadily flowing without decrees... although someone, besides yourself, will do well, and yourself well.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №116354
 21.07.2015
I am no longer a red woman. I am brunette again.

And my scalp is brunette. The brunette ears. The bathroom brunette. all brunettes

I can paint, yes.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №116353
 21.07.2015
Council number two. Try to find out the person you plan to marry before the wedding.
_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Getting married before the wedding is not very decent.)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №116352
 21.07.2015
5 rubles instead.
Once upon a time, my friends and I also agreed, only on ruble for word.
A few days later, a new insult was born in the company, for which you do not have to pay:
Raise your mother!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №116351
 21.07.2015
Would you like to come home and find a little sweetness in your pocket, but don’t understand how it got there?
– – – – –
I won’t be her. I will remove it and forget it in half an hour.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №116350
 21.07.2015
as you wanted.
Look at Zen.
Dead neighbors
The sweet orange

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №116349
 21.07.2015
xxx: Applications for equipment are satisfied by receipt and by residual principle.
YYY: What is it?
XXX is something. A late pig sick near his ass, that’s what.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №116348
 21.07.2015
Liquid
___
Since the evening, my husband has been tormenting for a long time whether to put me for lunch at work a strawberries or pasta with sausages. The first morning SMS when you come to the office "Open the dishes carefully - you will pour the soup!"
How to cure it?
___
If you have never been able to clearly answer her what you should put on, she has concluded that you do not want either one or the other, but you are just ashamed to say. I put something third.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №116347
 21.07.2015
Tagged with #17832

You either have weak muscles, like a baby, or a disease, since you can’t move your legs normally and so sit. Or just a fool.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №116346
 21.07.2015
Listened to salesmen of audio equipment in 1999.

Seller 1: Here I started to get acquainted with rock music with The Beatles, Rolling Stones.

Seller 2: And I’m right with Metallica and Manowar.

You didn’t have a childhood!!! to

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №116345
 21.07.2015
17832, legs spread almost one hundred and ninety degrees, is that, a relaxed posture? The gymnastics, ept. Well, okay, but how would you explain the man’s desire to stand in the passage and hide it all, instead of melting on one of the free spots?

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №116344
 21.07.2015
About Prothesis
It is ===
There was a patient in the clinic. From the category of everybody unhappy scandalists. She gave her colleague a prothesis.
Lots of words missed.
It turns out: the prothesis is not dead! For a moment, it is full!
It is ===
And only then came to me that it was a protease of the jaw, not the legs.

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