bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №120934
 22.11.2015
My mother-in-law works in the police.
The Week :D
Call to Department:
We were robbed!! Everyone got out of the apartment!! to
The mentions go to the address, knocking at the door.
Who is there?
- Police
We will not let you. We have already been robbed!
and did not let
Peter is what!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №120933
 22.11.2015
I go somewhere in the bus. From the furniture store. I bought a hoodie in the office. No one gave me a seat, but when a bunch of people came into the bus, many took my newly acquired hangover instead of the roof. I told them, “It won’t help,” but they got caught up and caught up... And then they even tried to protest when I walked out at my stop. Somehow it broke out.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №120932
 22.11.2015
Old as a mammoth, forum CS/

Topic "Proposal for Companion Meetings on C-Strike 5X5"

Message #1 [8 July 2001 at 18:28]
In the club Star 15 July will be held a selection tournament for the right to represent our club in the large city championship in C-Strike 5X5 which will be held 28-29 July. We ask for mercy to all who wish.

Message #2 [28 January 2003 at 09:37]
I don’t know where your star is – we have our club MASTER in Kazani and you are Czech compared to us!

Message #3 [21 November 2015 at 11:18]
Let’s get together, let’s get a good break!! to

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №120931
 22.11.2015
“Sorry Serge, it’s sudden, but it seems like I’m being raped in the club.
Were you attacked or just two hipsters fighting around because of the smog?
I went to the toilet, but they took care of me.
Are they in touch with each other or are they in touch with each other?
No, not to your jokes!
20 minutes and I am there.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №120930
 22.11.2015
The specificity of the local novel was a pool on the roof, but the Aborigines are unaware that if the water is liquid, it is warm, and the company of frost-resistant Russians and Finns were not allowed there.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №120929
 22.11.2015
I work from home because of my leg injury. A colleague from time to time writes to Skype, telling what's going on funny at work:

10:00 Petrovich has arrived. He brought a cake, he said, “Costume, colleagues, I’ll go for a divorce.

10:15 Larisa Anatolievna learned why Petrovich is standing, asking: should he be congratulated or sympathized?

10:17 Masha said that, judging by the necklace, bound in a rope, to sympathize with...

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №120928
 22.11.2015
Xxx
My aunt asked me, “Are you not afraid of wolves in the woods, will they be attacked?”
I answer her - "Are you not afraid to celebrate Birthdays in the cafés?
There were wolves sitting at the neighboring tables, and they looked at you.")

Zzz
And we succeeded. They were three and came into the forest cage with another companion.
Tired like the devil, and also wet, because they burned and broke the dams of the bobs.
In general, strongly taken on the chest in health, not to let go.
And our companion went out on the street.
He comes and says, "Michalych, what fucking thing do you not tie your wolf? I’ve done it in the woods".
Mikhailich's eyes wiped out - "Yes, I didn't hold the dog so long..."

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №120927
 22.11.2015
Reflections on Mat.

Imagine that mat has become so ordinary that everyone uses it and doesn't go. No one is insulted, no face beats... It would seem – that’s happiness! Ann no, delicious "black" from hitting a hammer on the finger will no longer be able to so effectively relieve the pain.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №120926
 22.11.2015
I look forward to crystallizing the final "relationship with a woman" for gay men, to take care of themselves for gay men, to wash and change socks more often than once a month for gay men... and I look forward to crystallizing the final "relationship with a woman" for gay men, and troy men only in the male society of the TRU.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №120925
 22.11.2015
by Diana Udovichenko:

I read the news on the tape, I sit, I am happy with life. I love the news about the discoveries of British scientists. And it doesn’t matter whether it’s fake or not – the essence is one.
I read that one foreign scientist (I don’t remember whose, but I suspect that British) has studied the breasts of women of different ages for fifteen years. In the end, I came to the conclusion that it is not necessary to wear a bra. Especially those who have the nipples up. They will not delay.
That is wonderful. Chuvak invented a great job: he for 15 years, without laying his hands, touched the grandmothers' breasts, and made a brilliant discovery: the underwear is better not to wear, it is not so comfortable to touch with it.
A group of British scientists studied the sexual reaction of women to smells from men, and came to the conclusion: ladies arouse the smell... garlic! That is, gathered men who love to eat garlic, took the baby and made themselves smell. Poor grandmothers, smelling to hallucinations, shouted: "Like us, like us, just let us go" - and the scientists were delighted and made this conclusion.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №120924
 22.11.2015
Have you read the news that several Hollywood directors have made a movie that nobody will ever see?
It is really very interesting. I just remembered the bottle. They made films for their descendants. They put it in a box, hang it in the wall and say:
“Open in 100 years.”

ZZZ You know, we would have their problems. In fact, when these boxes are opened in 100 years, it is usually written shit full. These were the pioneers of the boxes. What did they write?
“We, young pioneers of the city of Oka, greet our glorious comrades in the future! Somewhere in 2005. “We envy you because you live in communism.”

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №120923
 22.11.2015
Young people are not that anymore. With the invention of hyper-spatial terminals they settled entirely in their quasi-spaces. They don’t appear on social networks, they don’t read Twitter, they don’t even visit YouTube! Well, can these quantum illusions replace warm, real communication in the chat or on the forum? What a dispute we had in the stones! A real clash of beliefs and paradigms! And now what? Even with friends, family do not communicate. Even with the opposite sex. How can there be a relationship? We also had dating sites. The same networks again. Yes, every fantom on the site had, or not one by one. They met, met and fell in love. Who, fucking, is going to be born? They are what? Is it stupidly grown up in the wild quantum space? by Tifou. and all! The Disappearing Generation"
by DeeplyDisturbed15, 19:48 13/08/2123

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №120922
 22.11.2015
My son is going to visit a classmate. It seems like she asked him "to help her configure something on the computer". Is it time to say that the condoms are taken?

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №120921
 22.11.2015
They are worried, you know. You spend most of the day in sex. Women need a reliable male shoulder, men need gentle female care.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №120920
 22.11.2015
When the ambulance arrived, she took the monkey and the pot with such a business look and went into the car that I became clear.

My child grew up.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №120919
 22.11.2015
You are psychic.

A wheelchair with the child (and the foods in the basket) does not take up more space than a regular food cart, which as often block the passage.

So, if it bombs, so condemn human ignorance in general, and not specifically children’s mothers, who have equal rights with you.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №120918
 22.11.2015
xxx [21.Nov.2015 14:24] I wanted a long and serious relationship, I’ll go to the puppy.
xxx [21.Nov.2015 14:30] Everything was wasted.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №120917
 22.11.2015
You start to look at life differently when you hear from a therapist who prescribes a prescription, the phrase: "The best patient is a dead patient."

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №120916
 22.11.2015
No, I understand everything, young, worried, following me for a second month, breathing, obviously can not decide to have a sincere conversation. But the tormented, finally squeezed phrase in the darkness of the cafe: “Lenocha, I loved you with all my heart” was too unexpected even for me.

P.S Vichy, I really like you too. I promise not to laugh like that anymore. Please answer at least one of my calls.

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №120915
 22.11.2015
A year ago, in front of my house on the wall with a balloon, they wrote: “Mixes, salt” and some phone. Somewhere half a year later, the inscription was painted and the inscription"ZOŽ" was placed next to the balloon. Now I smoked on the balcony and watched the inscription "for gays". In the end, the drug addicts drowned the dogs.

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