bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №156651
 22.07.2021
XX: My parents first forced me to eat and then beat me because I was fat.



Yyyy: I tried to rub you food.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №156650
 22.07.2021
Xxx: I went to the river with my family, I took a swimsuit, and my older sister didn’t. Grandma decided that since I don’t have a nipple, I don’t need a swimsuit as much as my nipple sister. My grandmother gave me her giant swimsuits with their sticks.

I swam along the river nameless, to get caught up in the wreck that was torching off the shore by these most cowards deadly. It hit me to the cork with my stomach, and because of the strong current, it pulls me under it. Water runs through the head. It hurts and nothing to breathe. Oh, help me, the cowards are stuck, Tony! Those bastards are standing.  At the moment when the forces almost left me, and the coward almost became the cause of my death, my older brother came to help me. In the end, he and I both clapped as they freed me from the cowards, they could not be separated. Babylonian pants remained there on the branch to hang. I don’t like cowards and prefer not to wear them.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №156649
 22.07.2021
Xxx: School in the 3rd class. I am sitting in class, I know the pen is missing. I looked through everything, went through everything, couldn’t find it. I asked for a spare.

What was my surprise when the next day, I saw a girl sitting in front of me writing with my pencil. I started pushing her in the back, give her a pen. She said it was her pen. The teacher was interested in what was there and became our judge.

The girl first came and said it was her pen. Then I stood up and said that this was my pen, and it was easy to check, because my name was scratched on it (my grandmother just advised me to write your name on all your things).

The teacher took this pen for the general overview of the class and, indeed, saw my name scratched there.

The whole class looked at the girl, and she said without blinking her eyes that it was she herself that scratched my name, asked why, because I love him.

[ + 35 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №156648
 22.07.2021
Xxx: I work as a rescue worker (not an Emergency Service). In the winter I go to the ski resort.

Once I got in the cabin of the gondola lift company of Moscow. I saw a red shape with white crosses. They started asking stupid questions.

What to do if the elevator stops?

Wait for them to launch.

Not launching for a long time.

Call the rescuers to find out the situation. There is a phone number on the Skype card.

What if we wait long and cold?

Sit down, and alternately strain and relax the muscles of the anus. It will warm up and there will be no hemorrhoids.

(This is a real exercise from hypothermia)



I should have seen their eyes. I wonder, what did they want to hear?



Yyy: Their eyes became such because the anus was strained.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №156647
 22.07.2021
If in a state the legislation works on the principle of "because let's", then citizens live on the principle of "and let's do it to us".

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №156646
 22.07.2021
As a child, Oleg Tabakov lived with his grandmother on the outskirts of Saratov. There was a German prison camp. In 1944, German prisoners of war were persecuted in several cities. There was a rehearsal of this sort in Saratov. The Germans were built and driven to the frozen Volga. There they moved from the clock, and then they were driven back to the barracks. "And my grandmother," says Tabakov, "for some reason had pity on them. This is strange, because at this time one of her sons was missing in the war with the Germans, and the other son returned from her with a cradle. And she, when she saw them frozen, cut them off half of her packet-card bread and said, "Oležek, take away!"
I was so afraid – I was afraid of our convoys, I was afraid of the shepherds, I was afraid of the Germans... But I went and took that bread from them and ran back. And I am convinced that the Lord thanked me for this bread: in 1992, when Gaidar's reforms led to famine, it was time to close the theater. And suddenly, in the most difficult moment, a call from the Leningrad sea port: "You have come a container with humanitarian aid from Germany." It turns out that some theaters in Germany decided to collect aid to the theatre of Oleg Tabakov. Several times a year they sent these containers, and it helped the artists to survive, not to close the theater... I am convinced that this is how the bump came back to me from God..."
Memories of Innocent Smokutnovsky

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №156645
 22.07.2021
Interestingly it happens...
Martin Luther King once said, “You can’t separate people by their skin color.”
BLM says that “the lives of Black people are important.
Martin Luther King fought for the rights of white people.

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