The news:
The U.S. Department of Defense has made adjustments to domestic rules regarding religious rites, allowing military personnel to wear beards, as well as turbans, shirts and other unconventional clothing for military uniforms.

Very soon meet the American infantry of the Pastagarians in the slugs)))

Is there a gang of elevator thieves in your entrance?

I remembered a case that characterizes our military commando. They took me, therefore, the debt to the Motherland to give, I have served for six months, and during the next call home, my mother tells me an amazing story. She found in the mailbox a letter from a local clinic on my behalf asking me to appear to the therapist, said some of my tests scared them. My mom went there and explained that I was in the army and could not come. The doctor at first laughed, then laughed, and then told me that they were looking for such letters from the "polyclinic" for the military committee. And my military commander sent me to serve, and then lost me.

xxx: It’s a pipet... I’m standing in the kitchen, cleaning the kiwi, the cat next to the window clutches. Here we hear as if something has fallen... The cat on the receiver and stopped, I froze, then again grumbling. My cat and I went into the hallway under the tense music, no one. Scratch out of the toilet! We, like a gang of ninjas, open the door – empty. The pen comes out of the closet. I take the cat snorkel, I open the first snorkel - empty... The cat is strained and hiding behind me, the music is more strained... I open the second snorkel and... I see a very surprised pigeon O.o. he obviously did not wait for us... I close the door of the toilet, I drive out the cat, which has already set up the shoulders, I said I will get rid of him ))))) I go to think about the kitchen )))) then I already caught the bird with a white sheet under the cat's reef and cracking on the wool )))) the pigeon was in the shower, like us, scattered the entire toilet and was accompanied by a simple to the nearest window ))))
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY)))

Maximus 101: Ukrainians should be angry. And of course, to make a choice - two uters can not be sucked forever.
dp_132: The choice is made. Instead of two papers, there will be two papers.
Zaven926: What a horror :)
ilja_muromec: but in European terms

Stay the fucking! Where are you from?
Fuck the butt.
From which booth
From the South!
from himself?
From the southernmost! The head of good hope!
What clothes?
The second helps:
Let’s find out, it’s probably from the telecast.
From the Nashville?
Well...
Well well well well well well well.

God, protect this country!
by NEN

I sat down in the evening, thinking about my prospects. I decided that I need to motivate myself in some way to succeed. I hanged in the room tablets like “Life is Beautiful” and “Today you are better than yesterday” and so on. I slept badly at night and wept. In the morning, I slipple from the bed with a blanket, rely on the mirror - the face is dull, pale, the eyes are acidic, saliva on the cheeks, the hair is scattered into a cube. And on the mirror yesterday's sign "You are so beautiful, smile, today someone will fall in love with your smile." Good luck and shit. Rihanna hasn’t gotten well yet. It works!

by gen. Dir: a girl called about participating in the training “Hard negotiations”. He sent her in.

from ZH:

n: Soldiers who finish service in Iraq for the sake of the Khommy organize military funerals of pornographic magazines. Under the wolves playing Amazing Grace, everything is right! Three shots in the air :)
Z: And that is right. As if they did little on these magazines.

The Fantasy:
– – – – –
My father told.
In the distant Soviet Union, he and his comrades conducted field geodesic practices (such uncles who make plans and maps).
Naturally, all the cards in the last night before the departure, placed in the middle of the lawn of clay. They were not confused, painted in the appropriate designation and went in the middle of the night to plant a tree in the appropriate place on the terrain.
In the end, they got the bill, although the prey at first screamed for a long time that there were no trees there. I was driving, checking.

– – – – –
Kouprin "Sirene’s bush", the story. Your father probably read the classics, unlike you.

This is Krasnoyarsk. Monitoring shows the breakdown of the twisted pair. On the spot, the security guard sees a man coming out of the building with a bag of cables. Takes him for the hand. Vandal wondered, “What are you? Do you need a cable? Go and cut yourself.”

Who is Sasha Grey? I have a friend, Pasha Grey. I do not know Sasha.
It is miserable)))

Stop playing your iPad, read the book! Grow and not degrade!
Where else to read? Few people understand me for the rich vocabulary, the absence of words in the speech of parasites, paths and professional slang.

programmer: if everything on the sell-off falls I will approach and put in the ass with the words "FORMATOR PERMITED!"
Programming in Roze
Programming by: Lord
Developed by: Homo

The Olympic fire is being discussed.
If you were an Olympic fire, you would be fucking hot!
WOW: And quite overwhelmed.

AAA: What, did you not look at Dr. House?
BBB: I tell you - I don't like the series, I have had a psychological trauma since childhood.)))
While I was in school, I hardly watched TV, there was no time. And here classmates let us praise a new film on the second program, such as actors are beautiful, the plot is super, etc. The movie was called Santa Barbara. I first forgot about this movie, remembered two months later, took the program, oh! And the movie is still going, really a hundred-something series. I sit down and think, I’m a bitch, the movie is about to end, and I just thought to watch.
AAA: Oh yeah! The movie is about to end ?

A colleague (K) on the job, after reading the article that Skype cooperates with the NSA and the FSB, writes:

Q: We are being watched.
I: I always knew about it, only before I thought it was a persecution mania.
I: Now I’m calm – I’m mentally healthy

I heard a conversation in the smoking room:

What would your reaction be if you woke up at two o’clock at night with a naked man lying down to your bed and saying, “Silence, so it should be?”! to

I could no longer smoke cigarettes.

One day, he was sitting at a philosophy lecture. Prep tells me something. I am sick, just a nightmare. Another seminar on the same philosophy. I sit, suffering the choice: go to the dining room and chew a soup, or go home to sleep. For a long time, he decided to throw a coin. But since he was not in adequacy, he decided to write down what each side of the coin meant. I watched, I watched, I watched an eagle. I swear with a leaflet: "The eagle is home, the reed is home".
Kokamich

In such days, I regret especially that I was not born in a great, powerful, but warm country.