My wife is studying programming, and in the morning she says to me:
“I dreamed all night as if I was trying to write a code so that the child’t scream at night.
And how did it work?
No, he is screaming anyway.
Experienced programmers can do that :)

I forgot my phone at home. I feel naked and lonely.

Someone around started complaining about men, saying they can’t listen. My mother cried that her dad was forever stuck with her. The sister of the guy dropped because the phrase "it's not true, you've never told me that!" became his crown. We are not so. Here I tell my husband something in the evening of the type "and I today saw a man in a blue hat and thought that we should buy a boomerang and go to the planetarium ", and he and his series put on a pause, looks at me with interest, then still waiting ( suddenly I have not finished, just slowed down to rest). And then he says: Sorry, I started listening, repeat again, please!
At such a point you understand that you can do without a boomerang, and in general, rest on the road, I will go to make you butters.

I have a friend artist. I haven’t seen him for a long time, and since then he has had a lot of fun. He went to him, and he tries to call the customer, at whom the wall was painted. The man pays a lot, but he often doesn’t take the phone, he doesn’t call again, he tricks a lot wrong and his teeth talk.
Well, I look at him, as he whispers around the room with the phone and hears the clutches, decided to ask:
Do girls like your tattoos?
I like my big x girls. Hello to you, Ivanovich. Sorry, I am not you. Oh... I am very happy. Of course thanks. So you liked it...? of AAAA. Okay, well, until we meet...
I: Well what did he say?
He also has a big O.O.
I am M. And the roses?
He says, come, I’ll pay more than I agreed. He had never seen the wall.
Say, the size does not matter.

I cut off the carpet this morning. and all.

Ed Meder: Yarosh generally calls for declaring war on Russia. Tired of waiting for the bloody Empire to attack.
I think, how does he imagine it... Well, they declared war on Russia – and what?! to

Andrei Lazarchuk: And I gave up. All problems solved

The story of Sevka reminded us: when we came to the country, the neighbors lived on the site picked by them from somewhere from the washing of the cat Murzik. So this unnatural black-and-white miracle of very small sizes (in the eye - kg 6-7, and not thick, namely, a powerful cat) considered not only the neighboring area, but also our neighboring: he freely entered us (sometimes directly into the house, while allowing himself to chew) and chased the cats who entered there from our site (even tried to drive out our same red-and-white Persian named Bert!). Cats fights with his participation were held at us several times (usually he won). As a result, he damaged Bert's eyes and, apparently, feeling bad, we tried not to get into the eyes. Invisible and contagious.

[Dialogue about "Game of Thrones"]
X: Well, in general, you spoilered a lot of future viewing.
Y: We have several channels showing it differently. Switch - consistent spoilers: then Ned without a head, then Jamie - without a hand, then Theon - Khm, not lucky at all...

Yes, the problem is that sterilization of wanderers is not the solution.
1st While you sterilize one fucks, ten others have given birth to five puppies.
2nd Sterilized animals stay outdoors, spread the infection, show aggression, loathe, after all.
Three Sterilization is more expensive than shooting.
--------

What do white people do?
Hunting, keeping during a number of days specified by the regulations and sleeping in the absence of those willing to take on the role of the host and pay for vaccinations and other drinks. This is necessary so that all domestic animals are not accidentally threatened, in pursuit of a quarterly plan.
I am not against removing life from the streets by lethal methods. I am against the goodwill of giving the dog a snack with poison, and then watching over the next day from the window for the dog to ride on the lawn, scratch and water everything around with mouth foam and cow diarrhea.

Just when I was at Uzi, I learned that I was going to have a boy! Tomorrow I’ll go and buy him a quadcopter.

Meeting with a doctor is...
... send him a sexy photo and get the answer: "Why are your lips so cyanose?"

Sysadmin: I'm almost out :) I plug in the system wiring 220, and at this moment the perforator on top is turned on...

I look at a website with reviews about cosmetic products. I found a fun tool and write to my husband:
- Prikyn, foam for washing with extracts of garlic nests.
Of shit and sticks, right?

As in the battles about the USSR, it was different for everyone - some even had the air on the bills, and others gave black caviar at the factory for harmfulness; so Russia is now different for everyone - some live with a decent salary in a democratic country - a world leader, others barely exist in a post-apocalyptic ruin, without hot water, with a bunch of drug addicts and clusters of dogs eating careless people on the streets.

What year is the car?
I have equipment from zero. 80 thousand runs. TO once in 10 thousand km, it costs 1200 r with the replacement of all the filters (oil I have my own). Repairs for this range: 450p speed sensor, 1400p support bearings, 500p stabilizer stands. All of. At the same time, the consumption is 5-5.5 on the track, the city is 7.4-8.6 liters per 100 km.
= = = = = is = is = is = is = is = is = is = is = is
It would seem, someone, and the owner of the box should know that the quality of a particular copy is purely random.

Will the turtles blow you up in the name of Allah?
X: Oh, not to you!
Hi, let’s get to know you?

On the subject of walking.
When I was 18, we were going out periodically on electric bikes with friends to drink culturally in nature. for a few days. And all of my trouble went into my father’s military cider, except that the blanket outside hanged. Then the pen began to hang steadily. A few years later, I lived with a Bundess backpack, twice the size of a cider, began to take spare clothes, a burner, and then bought a tent, which I started hanging on the backpack on the side. Then he started to ride a car, bought a healthy four-seater tent, chairs, tables, moved on a serious SUV, then everything stopped to fit in the luggage, put an expeditioner...
This year I have eaten 4 times with a backpack of 25 liters, a tail and a bedroom. In the electric. And I feel much happier than with the chest.

A blonde girl comes and says:
- Listen, I need my program to download the file, and it does not download, can you see where in the code I have a mistake?
See also:
- This is wrong, it is necessary to take the path where the file lies from the config and read from there, rather than hardcoding.
- No, it's okay, the file will always be in the X folder, and the configuration is so turbulent.
Get the code:
Will this code always work?
Yes, it will be.
After a while:
Your code does not read the file.
We see. There is no file:
Where is the file?
Well, I thought, the file should be in the X folder, and suddenly I want to put it in the Y folder? I decided to move him there now, so that I would not change anything later.
Why hasn’t the code been corrected?
You said your code will always work.

How was your first day at work after vacation?
Yes, the pins...
What is so?
I come to work, and everybody touches me and shakes me. Here comes our admin with the cry "Salamaleykum, Gulchatai"!!! to
In short, while I was on vacation, Gender appointed me as his deputy, and put his wife in my place, which was his deputy. These thorns now roar that the lord has appointed me a beloved wife.
- I wonder, and your gender knows that you sometimes cheat his wife?
It is blue ((

With age, according to the idea, should come the mind, wisdom and the ability to see the essence of the problem and solve it. And if to you with age came the desire to kill - unfortunately, nothing came to you, so you remained an evil minor dwarf.


It’s not mine, but I’ll put my 5 cops in.

We have - a bunch of adulterated (or initially wild, born on will) aggressive dogs. Who at least scared or even bitten your mother/wife/child/you.

The essence of the problem is this particular room. here and now. Abstract reasoning - what to do so that such aggressive clusters do not exist - is not relevant at this time.

The solution to this problem is: I am eliminating. It can be handed over to the shelter for distribution to heart-hearted miserables. You really think you are an adult animal, accustomed to life on the street. Will it be permitted to live in the house? Well, if he just escapes into the usual habitat, and may bite the "home".

So - sanitation, if it is possible - the forces of special bodies to control this fauna, well, and if there are no such or they do not want to move or fear to connect with the dumb animal defenders - with their own forces.

No vivid emotions, no sadistic joy - naked calculation. Take care of the safety of your loved ones and yours. And love for people, at least for family.