bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №133930
 23.09.2016
Eric51: By the way, about Waeng. We remembered here, don't know :) Waenga - the former name of Severomorsk, a stream falling into the Gulf of Kol, a bay at the place of merger of the stream with the bay. Why am I? On the shore of this same stream and bay was and hopefully is still our part in which I served for 3 years, and over the stream hanged a summer toilet with cross holes right in the stream and, I apologize, we scratched this Waenga from the heart.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №133929
 23.09.2016
In our clinic, the dentist is Sauren Goryanovich. I am very afraid every time it is accidentally called by "Sauron Gorinych" - without any evil intention, it is transformed in this way, and everything is here...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №133928
 23.09.2016
The evolution of road deception in anecdotes:
And why is the asphalt placed on the long route, not the shortest? It is expensive.
YYY: That’s why they put it. And if they dig on a yacht, then zigzags also.

<><><>>
J. Perelman's book "Interesting Astronomy" of the 1966 edition begins with a similar anecdote:
After finding two points on the class board, the teacher offers the young student a task: to draw the shortest path between the two points.
The student, thinking, diligently draw a twisted line between them.
This is the shortest way! The teacher is surprised. Who taught you so?
and my dad. He is a taxi driver."

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №133927
 23.09.2016
After the purchase of the comp I no longer watched TV at all. Once I came to my parents and in the day-to-day, staying at home, one of them turned on this archaic apparatus. There actively broadcasted a man with a voice: "To make the muscles of your face are in tone, and so that your articulation battles everyone to the upside with its charm, repeat the following exercise every day. Move your lips into a pipe and bend the contour of the Russian Federation with it as you imagine it. Shut off for eternity.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №133926
 23.09.2016
About children’s names. There is one village in the Kirov region (I will not say which). When I was taken there, I was a little surprised that even the children called each other (especially by the eyes) by name-father. It turned out: almost all inhabitants of the village - one surname - by the name of the village. The fantasy about children’s names is heroic. A bunch of children with the same names and surnames and only fathers are different. Here is this.

[ + 25 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №133925
 23.09.2016
About Friendly Sex
My friend and I still use the phrase, listened to in some series "we are friends with you, but if you get drunk and want sex - you know where I live".

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №133924
 23.09.2016
Diamond: Kids think we close up in the bedroom and eat chocolate
Canakau: he-he
Diamond: No he-he, they are right

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №133923
 23.09.2016
xxx: Eaten a candy "The mouse in the north", from boredom read the composition. I suggest changing the name to "The Mouse on the chimcombinate"

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №133922
 23.09.2016
The housewife found in bananas spiders causing deadly erection:

Dmitry: A British family was forced to leave their own home after it was occupied by hundreds of deadly spiders ripping out of a banana
A man with a 4 hour erection.
Dmitry: The Spiderman
Dmitry: in the comics missed one very important feature
Did you think he was breaking the web?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №133921
 23.09.2016
My name is Lisa and I am 35 in November. Where we moved before my second grade, I was the only one in the whole school and I would not be surprised if in the whole city (the Ural monastery at the factory). I was partly irritated (well, if my name was Katya, it would probably not change anything, but it is easier to stick to the name), partly sympathized - how, say, you, poor, with such horror until the age of 16, that then when you get a passport to change for something _normal_?

I like social networks, it’s funny. We were 27 people in the class, minus me, minus a boy who died early and did not have time to have a family, minus the ten who were not found on the Internet... In short, of the 15 people, nine of the daughters of Lisa, one of Xushu, and I have her something in advance sympathy.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №133920
 23.09.2016
We have an electrician in our office center, Petrovich. The guy is like an explanatory and executive, but there is one strange feature in him. He is constantly calling me Hope, I am constantly repairing him every time, and he still doesn’t get to him. By the way, my name is not the most common, but it doesn’t look like Hope at all. Until now, I thought I reminded him of Nadia. It happens so.

And here today a few lights burned, I call the waitress, please send an electrician. Instead of Petrovich comes another electrician. The further dialogue:

Good morning, where is Petrovich?

What kind of petroleum?

How what? The electric, such a grey, has always come to us.

This is Tarasovich, Sergey Tarasovich.

Japanese mother, I called him Petrovich for two years, now I am ashamed, and I think that I reminded him of Nadia. He trolled me simply, apparently such a revenge. )))

Shame on me, next time I will name it correctly, I’ll check if I stay with Hope. )))

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №133919
 23.09.2016
Knowledge of rabbits and rabbits:
This feeling that for me as a child the main in the television program were not all kinds of toms and jerry da sellor moons... from childhood I know that... the eggs are predators, and the caracourt is not a black widow... the eggs do not attack from the top of the trees, but do a rush, like the gepards.
What else can I do?"

Horses belong to insecticides, they eat everything that could not escape from them, but mostly insects and falls. Caracourt is a spider of the "Black Widows" family. Risi attack both from the assembly, and stealing, but not like a gepard, in a prolonged high-speed chase. You will get rid of the taiga to wear, at a speed below 60 km / h.
Take something else to enjoy, for example.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №133918
 23.09.2016
here here :

Strange, NASA just announced now, in general, the Air Force broadcast about the shift of horoscopes was released 5-8 years ago. The Serpent was known for a long time.

The PFF. And in Russia, this was written about 30 years ago, in the second half of the 80s after the beginning of the restructuring, when a stream of various science-formed figured into the newspapers. And then one day, everyone was indifferent to this labyrinth. And you were so excited by this bearded news, as if it was you until now in the newspapers only the transcripts of the congresses with the plenaries of the CPSU and the news from the fields were printed. He smashed the people.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №133917
 23.09.2016
In those cases, when a shark sails down to you to bite, you should move between yourself and a predator any solid object.

A semi-naked swimmer has only one potentially solid object with him.

At that point, there will be no erection.


[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №133916
 23.09.2016
Until the last moment I was sure that in the story of the household story about my husband... until I read to "give me to sit on my knees. and tears. and sit"

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №133915
 23.09.2016
As a child, I dreamed very much that I would be kidnapped by aliens and taken to my planet. I am 27 years old and there are no aliens. What are you doing, butterflies?

As a child, I was very afraid that I would be abducted by aliens, and when they realized that I was not a remarkable little girl, they would return me to Earth, but not home, but where I got, for example, on the top of a high mountain. How am I crying from there? This thought led me to alpinism.

<ovtza> what if they land you in the middle of the ocean?
<ry> I’ve grown up big and I can negotiate

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №133914
 23.09.2016
There are other wonderful names: Nicodemus, Dog and Sissa.
I don’t envy those kids 😉

I know people with the names Demyan and Demid. They live peacefully.
I know one Anton. His "wrong" name is very difficult to live. He came out of his teenage age, at twenty already. And all suffers from the "dabilism of the surrounding".
The rest of the Antones are living normally.
Not in the name of the case.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №133913
 23.09.2016
Abortion is not a matter of concern for the health and safety of women. It is based on psychology, the traditional concept of the sinfulness of abortion, the "destination of a woman" and so on.

An unexpected pregnant woman often experiences severe stress. Father "life" insists on abortion. The arguments are extremely convincing, pressure on the psyche very strongly. Often this is done by relatives, friends and doctors of women's counseling.
On the other hand, proliferators of varying degrees of adequacy. From gentle warnings to wicked crying, Allah will punish you, desires death and burning in Hell.
Making the right choice in this situation is not easy. The woman will be to blame for any outcome. Strong for the rest of my life.
Add to this the persistent aversion of many men to condoms and the side negative from other contraceptives – and sex for a woman becomes a much bigger headache than for a man.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №133912
 23.09.2016
> in gafflia can not drown, it is a hard-floating metal

So maybe, like in the old days, we will try to drown uranium debris in mercury? and :)

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №133911
 23.09.2016
How to find out if you are in love,
If you’re 30+ and you’re no longer emotional?
1st All songs on the radio are romantic.
2nd There is nothing interesting on the internet :-(

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