bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №139925
 24.03.2017
Check out the new "spray peanut butter". I drink and roast. I rub and drink.

NN: I was drinking. and roasted.

This is more profitable than a bucket, it comes out. Not so harmful, not drunk, but fun!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №139924
 24.03.2017
xxx: What is better – one good switch on the cable according to all the rules or two cables made “as it did” and going on two different routes?

yyy: I vote for 2 cables, in our realities of drunk tractors, housing workers and other not responsible people with the excavator, even the perfect cabling and mufts do not guarantee the absence of cracks in the cable. Personally, I had a record when there were 2 cables on the site, an airplane on the columns and a subway in the cable sewerage, an employee of some municipal service managed not only to dig the cable, but also to take the back to remove the pillar, strike his mother.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №139923
 24.03.2017
The book about GH, which became a hookie - Yevgeny Gulyakovsky "foreign spaces"
I answered a second time. The first response was immediately deleted.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №139922
 24.03.2017
Here we stood a day in the store, in a row at the box office, and in front of us a uncle. Like this, in a coat, in a coat. He bought garbage bags, rubber gloves, a bottle of wine, breadcakes and several packages of women’s socks.
And here we have a fantasy...it’s almost a set of some kind of maniac.
Here the uncle does his dirty business in his gloves, all the extra parts of his body is sprayed in his bags.
And then he has a ritual - wearing socks, pouring wine into a glass and eating breads.
After looking at our purchases - candy, yogurt, salt, pepper and tomatoes.
Suddenly it became sad. Whoever looks at it will not think of anything interesting.
And they decided that to buy must be varied and untouchable, so that the box office in turn was not boring with what is behind us.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №139921
 24.03.2017
South is in the East. Where is logic?

of elementary. Yuri Gagarin on the ship "East"

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №139920
 24.03.2017
In the scene where sergeant Zim throws a knife into the brush of the ordinary Levy's hand, when viewed slowly, it is clear that first the blood flows from the hand, and only after that the knife falls into the palm.

yyy: the tachyonic weapons have their relations with space, time and causal relations.)))))

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №139919
 24.03.2017
Once, returning to work from lunch, found a missed phone call from a stranger in the city. I call back, they answer, “Morg is like that, hello.” The soul went to the heels, all possible desperate relatives flew in front of their eyes. I’m going with the spirit, “And you called me a few minutes ago, on what issue?” A noise is heard at the end of the wire, something is found out, a young girl gets the phone: "Oh, hello, and I called on your ad on the avito, you haven't sold the cat yet?"

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №139918
 24.03.2017
XXX is fucking. I liked it.

YYY: Do you have a split personality?

XXX is yes. I do not think.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №139917
 24.03.2017
Dialogues in our department:
- I corrected the mistake, the solution is effective, but it is efficiency in the style of "We could have long featured on rapists, but I decided that it would be easier to fuck the table."

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №139916
 24.03.2017
XXX: I am writing a letter to the project manager. What can kindly be written instead of "as if it were all a horse"?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №139915
 24.03.2017
Northern atheists are not against neighboring with believers, only if they are not obscene. Southern atheists do not mind that believers are obscure, only not in their neighborhood.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №139914
 24.03.2017
Latent punk rock
Group "Iroquois Inside "

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №139913
 24.03.2017
Consultation with a venereologist:
When was the last sexual act?
xxx: three months ago.
When was the last ejaculation?
Yesterday... yesterday.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №139912
 24.03.2017
How can two citizens be detained in four cities?? to
YYY: They were released for the first time.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №139911
 24.03.2017
I don't smoke, but here's what confuses me, why on cigarette packs are all sorts of images of complications caused by smoking, and on candy boxes images of caries and diabetes - no? If you already advocate for a healthy lifestyle, then why not be honest to the end?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №139910
 24.03.2017
#Arrival #Arrival #Translator

The military came to the linguist-translator, they listen to the recording of a foreign language lasting barely half a minute. Ask to translate.

I am happy to believe that everything could happen. As Einstein said, “There are only two things that are infinite: the universe and human stupidity. I doubt the first thing.”

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №139909
 24.03.2017
In the office where I previously worked, there was a small cockpit for part-time students. They were first hired, convinced that they would pay a part-rate - "You still do not have a higher education! " - but they would be allowed to the institute if necessary. Three months used these offshoots in the tail and in the hryvnia, including driving out to serve on weekends - then you will go on school leave, you will not work for two weeks! On the eve of the session, instead of sending them to school leave, they were kicked out by hitting a piece of paper wrongly filled or being late for five minutes. The latter turned usually without noise and dust - on young people and people without special life experience magic words such as "write on your own, or on the article!".

One day the scheme failed. The headquarters took an outsider to the law department, for some reason without looking at it, it was not a yesterday's schoolboy, slightly shrinking from the adult life that fell on him, and a thirty-year-old man who learned, flown out, served, worked, and now recovered from the outsourcing, and in life was quite well understood... In general, they negotiated on the agreement of the parties with the payment of several salaries. Many years have passed, and I am still wondering if the man for this brilliantly twisted operation immediately received a lawyer's degree without writing and defending the work.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №139908
 24.03.2017
The fixed phone in the Matrix is still fine.

But why did the Star Desant chase the infantry against spiders? Why did the Federation not give the people tanks? You can’t get brushed with whispers. So many people could be saved. Who will answer for it?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №139907
 24.03.2017
>>>>
...
You have been blocked on the Rambler/news portal before a reasoned explanation of your words.
...
<<<<

Did he write Rambler-Hambler?

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №139906
 24.03.2017
I have completed my first universe in Israel. For the first time I spoke to the secretary in Hebrew, not the sign language. Half-groups at once found out that the Russian speaks about

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