A sunny, hot summer day. My husband and I walk out of the park on a long, well-maintained sidewalk. I am pregnant with my first child and will be giving birth in a month.

Do you know these beautiful pregnant women, whose stomachs are sweetly rounded over time, and they, beautiful, crack to the very birth, causing the affection of others? It was not about me. I rounded up. I grew up where I shouldn’t. Nose of potatoes, +2 feet size, cheeks, which was visible even from the back of the neck.

The mood was just at zero. One fat penguin, who falls from foot to foot, hates everyone around, constantly eats tomatoes and smells of tiled glue.

From the store came a young mom with a wheelchair and was right in front of us. She probably belonged to the first type of woman, because her figure was the most juicy. At least from behind. She spoke on the phone and walked very swiftly, and I unwittingly looked at her beautiful pop and long, slim legs.

I remembered that my husband was next door. He sees it too! And he sees me, such a thin, enormous penguin.

I turn my head to see if my husband is still looking.

You know this phenomenon, when you go with a man, before you appears some busty blonde, and the man begins to actively watch on his legs, count the fanary columns, look into the horizon - anything, only to accidentally not look and not face the angry look of his half?

Well, I even looked very much. Directly watched. And even what I watched him, I looked at him in focus, did not bother him at all! I was a little discouraged by such a sincere behavior and asked, “What, do you like?” He looked at me and thoughtfully replied, “Well, nothing like that.”

In this place my world collapsed. Everything is gathered together. Hormonal leaps, caffeine deficiency, this nocturnal heartburn, terrifying pain throughout the body and an extremely sick husband. I just wanted to get the baby out of my stomach and get it in my husband. To make it he was so fat and unhappy, and I went and watched the pumped beauties. I wanted to jump on him from behind and squeeze his eyes so that he would never see any female ass again.

But I took a breath, gathered up, and with a slightly trembling voice said, “Well, come then, why are you going here with me?”

And you know what? He really accelerated the step and caught her. The girl felt his approach and questioningly looked at him, removing the phone from the ear.

“Sorry, my wife and I looked at your wheelchair. Comfortable as well, right? We have not yet chosen which one to buy. Is it normal in winter? Easy to make? Does it fit in the luggage?”

...

We talked about the car all the time.

Relatively close to the village where I worked at the school, there was a special regime zone. At that time there were about two and a half thousand dangerous prisoners. There was an evening school in the area where several teachers from our school worked. Someone invited me too. After thinking well, I agreed, although, of course, I was panically afraid. I collected the necessary documents, which I then carefully checked, filled out a bunch of questionnaires. Before the first trip to the area of the house, all relatives and acquaintances who had at least some connection to the prison gathered. I received hundreds of advice: how to behave and how not to. It was strictly forbidden to wear red clothes. Here is the first visit. Teachers were searched, all phones and jewelry, except the engagement rings, were taken. The last instruction, and I am inside.

And immediately it was as if it had fallen into another world: and the sun is something different, and the sky and the air. Two guards accompany us to the club, where there is an equipped class. Two guards meet in the class. Students - 25 people, on the floor - a dirt line, which I am strictly forbidden to cross.

The geography class has begun. Students look with curiosity, though cautiously. By the way, most of them turned out to be friendly – and worked actively, and the homework was done on time. And the maps were better drawn than atlas! Among them stands out, as I understand, an authority by the nickname of Grey. As I learned later, Grey was charged with a double murder. In general, my new caregivers called each other exclusively by nicknames: Proshmira, Kurdyuk, Afonka, Ryabai, Zhban Žbanych... (what I remembered). As I learned later, they called me Lady, and in class – Antonovna.

Gradually I got into that atmosphere. Classes were twice a week. Thus passed two months. All according to the established order: search, two accompanying to the class, two - during the lesson. And here somehow I go into the classroom, I write on the board a topic: Brazil, I start the survey, and then a student from the first part says:

– Olga Antonovna, and where is your guard?

I looked into the corner where my bodyguards were always sitting, and thought: there was no one. I am alone in the class. and twenty five zecks.

I have never been so scared in my life.

I don’t know, I say. But that doesn’t matter. Continuing the lesson. So Brazil...

Then another student interrupted me and said:

- We know, we know, the homeland of the wild monkeys, - with these words he came out of the parta and crossed the dirt line, - let me show you.

In a few moments, the whole career of a geography teacher flew before my eyes. Despite the working air conditioner, I covered later. The feet trembled.

He saved me gray.

“Sit down, Proshmyra,” he said loudly. You are in class.

After hesitating, he returned.

I took a breath and continued the lesson. Five minutes before the end, the entire headquarters of the area broke into the classroom. Having seen me alive and unharmed, the face of their chief reflected the expression of relief and joy ofining his position.

The rest of the lesson was spent with us.

As I left the class, I turned to Seven and said, “Thank you, Grisha.” The gray shakes.

My hysteria began at the guard. The next day, all four guards were fired.

I finished until the end of the school year. To say goodbye, the head of the area handed me a gift from the students (which was strictly forbidden) – my portrait of copper wire. Awesome thing

I once shaved myself very short, and the cats didn’t recognize me. Apparently, she went into the apartment, went to the refrigerator to unload the foods, and they froze as roasted, the eyes of five copies, the nines can not understand - comes some left-handed aunt, and climbs in their refrigerator. Then when I spoke, the cat, with a complaining quick whisper, jumped on my arms, licking my hair, thinking I was hurt, probably)

To scratch money with a scratch, one scratch is not enough, money is also needed.

A woman who works at the factory came to us today. She had to solve two issues:
1st Find out if there is a vacancy for her son, who defends his diploma in the summer, at the KB of programmers.
2nd Wouldn't any of the programmers write a program for this son's diploma, or he can't.

Middle Ages Crisis: Children have grown up and you are not.

A couple of weeks ago I hired a developer from the depth. Call him on his cell phone:



– Yes...



- Girl, you didn't get there, we don't repair computers.



Of course, I can repair Windows, but...



How much does it cost...? and 25 thousand!



I will soon.



He turns off his cell phone and starts going somewhere. Then he slowly cried out:



- Fuck Moscow... I specifically said 25 to get rid of it.