I was drunk for the first time at the age of 16, so that at home my mother caught me blowing a dolma in the shell. I asked in shock:

Son, what about you?? to

I (with a misty gaze on the grape leaf that came out of me): -Mom, I seem to have been poisoned with a dolma!

Mother: -You know, I just got poisoned in my youth.)

At 96, when I was 13, my friend and I decided to form a rock band. We went to the local house of creativity, where the museum director worked with us. I won’t say that it was like rock, because basically all the music was from the teacher’s synthesizer, and a little bit of our quiet whirling on guitars. I used my father’s guitar at the rehearsal. My father wasn’t with us, but the guitar was with us. In the family, it was always called very high-quality, because it has all beetles, and this is estrade. It was not allowed to take her out of the house. We are a band, so we can.

And then one day, returning from the rehearsal, a car stopped at the crossroads. The door opened, and from the smoked car came:

“Give me a guitar!”

It’s hard to describe children’s feelings, but if approximately, I was just confused. He remained silent, giving no signs of life.

The cloud came out of the car, twenty-five years old, and began to take the guitar, I pulled on myself, he to himself. He got better, after which the car with wild rust went away...

I stood with wet eyes and looked after.

The first thing I went down on the curtains and a piece of brick wrote the number of the car on the asphalt. Then for ten minutes he stood and squeezed him, so as not to confuse and forget. My comrade, was a completely useless piece of shit, who only wanted to wash home soon.

Shortly after half an hour I was already in the first department of the militia, I was taken to the office, where I was asked for a long time if I was not beaten, if there was no violence. Then they led me to the first floor, where I decided that I would be allowed home, and I left. At home, I said nothing to my mother, went into the bathroom and diluted under the noise of the water. Water is an instinctive desire to wash.There was a feeling that I was all in something dirty, stinking and sticky. I still had to figure out what to say to my mom, how to explain that such a valuable guitar has disappeared. It probably cost a lot of money, and the money in the 90s did not spoil.

Nothing had to be explained. The police officer explained everything to my mom on the phone while I was in the bathroom.

My mother brought me to the police.

The car was caught on the outskirts of the city. During the arrest, drugs and guns were found in the car. So the satisfied policeman told my mom, and I listened, and I was glad that the guitar would come back!

Then there was an identification, where I easily pointed my finger to that fog, rejoicing in revenge. The guitar remained in the police for a long time, possibly coloring the leisure of the staff. And the paper was examined, where it was assessed at 500r. (The price is approximate, I do not remember the numbers. I remember that for that money I could not even buy a new beetle. Well, God is with him, the main thing was returned.

Then there was court. My witness did not come, ignoring several agenda, but it did not go without him.

And most importantly, there was an entirely different face on the defendant’s bench! From the same company, maybe he was in the same car, but not that mist. And here he stood up and said:

“I acknowledge my guilt and apologize to Alexander Sh.”

He said it in such an expression as if he had written my name on the asphalt with bricks. He gave one year.

As a result - the company of gold youth, weapons and drugs, which did not appear at all, the instigator, and I was on betrayal.

But I was still young, so in a couple of months I forgot to think. I remembered a couple of times in a year, scared a little and that’s all.

Surprisingly, why are prisoners not fed fast food in American prisons? The Humanists!

I had to work for two years as an electrical engineer in one government organization. A children’s camp was established. And one worker was sent to a summer camp as an electrician. Since I was single, the choice fell on me. The task is simple - to change the bulbs, repair the sockets and switches. I had a separate room and plenty of free time. I read books and clinged to the girls-chief.
But! I was immediately warned - in the buffet, at the delivery, is the grandmother Katya. For her, you will be an unnecessary mouth, because the food budget is not provided by an electrician (I am directed from the organization, and those about my food do not even think). So you will get half a portion of the garner and the smallest chicken.
In principle, I was enough. And the leaders were feeding at night sittings.
One day a boy came and said he needed help in the kitchen. I postponed Tomik Perumov and stopped doing the job.
Katie's grandmother's electric meat machine broke and the cakes for the entire camp were under threat. An extreme measure has already been announced - to open canned fish. Katya’s grandmother darkened in her eyes. She has been making baby cakes for 30 years and believed that it was the only decent food for a growing body.
I repaired the carnivore in five minutes, and after that I blinked at Baba Kate, from which she even turned red, and it was so.
For lunch, as usual, I came last, and grandmother Katya, as well as shrinking at me, gave me a huge plate full of pure. I didn’t see the catch, but I thought it was some sort of straw. Probably offended by my self-satisfaction. The age difference is 30 years old.
But when I began to eat the purple, there were four cocktails underneath it.
The blinking of Katie's grandmother didn't come out of my head all day. She gave me four cakes. Why Why? What does she need?
At night, I locked myself in all the locks and hung a button to the door.

- Pocmannik did not understand the situation and decided to live up in the crowd of an unauthorized rally. When he was dragged into the car bag, he kicked off and shouted, "Let go, I am my own! I am just stealing!
What is the joke here?
In fact, he was actually released.

I forgot to feed the dog or not.

I have fed it again for the case.

The dog has eaten again.