bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 40 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №150363
 26.05.2018
We film a hall for a football game in one institute. Usually the key is taken by who comes first. The watchdogs knew us, gave us the key without any problems (in any case there is a list)

But I’m coming here recently – there is a new watch with a view of “go on***, I don’t know you.” I say football. I found a list in my magazine. At that time there were other men.

She said that the key from the hall will only give that one (well, the type of organizer who signed the contract)

We ask: How do you know that this person is he?

Tag: checking documents

We: And if he can’t come, what do we do?

Wachtarsh: So he will call me and tell them that he will not come, then I will give the keys.

The player has long stopped playing football. Therefore, they did not know what he was doing at the moment. I left, called the watchman, presented myself as an organizer. I said I cannot come. She asked the guys to give her the key, which she did.

And with the appearance of the winner, the wachter says when transferring the keys: you see, you could have done everything right away!

P.S Sometimes people complicate the process when you can do everything normally.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №150362
 26.05.2018
I sit in the McDonald’s and drink coffee. Right in front of me is a high stand with the same high chairs. On one of these chairs grandmother puts a little boy of five years old. Right behind him the caring old lady puts a chair for herself.

The boy is trying to grab something out of the food, but the grandmother says, “Wait, now I’ll sit.” Finally, the old lady settles right behind the boy’s back, takes a big hamburger in both hands and commands: “Bite.” The boy is listening, but the grandmother is dissatisfied: “Bite more, you didn’t have breakfast.” This is how they are managed with a sandwich. The boy uses cola exactly as well without the help of his hands. At all the attempts to take food on its own, the grandmother cries: "Well, I have cleaned my hands, stop talking, eat, let's!"

I hope he writes on his own.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №150361
 26.05.2018
A colleague has not slept for several days, complains: the neighbor after the death of his wife drank and started listening to music at night. and loud. I feel like I’m with him every night, the wall between the apartments is thin. Meloman could have been understood somehow if he had not been deaf. In short, I am tired. He called him in the apartment, knocked, did not open. Probably he does not hear. I am an erudite. by jpg*

Every night, at two o’clock, the sausage begins and ends at about four. He started walking around the neighbors, looking for contacts of relatives, found, gave the phone of his son. The son twisted his finger at the whisk, and the father was deaf. However, he wrote a SMS to his father and came to find out. It turned out that the son himself brought him a watch from the radio and, when he adjusted the time, managed to set up the alarm.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №150360
 26.05.2018
Oh God, how much you look like, and behind you, the same face.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №150359
 26.05.2018
My aunt’s acquaintance after the divorce pulled to the extreme. I decided to jump with a parachute. The first jump is a crack in the spine. A month on anesthetics, jokes "I had to do diving, fool!"
After 6 months call:
I call you from the hospital. I was hit by the scratch!

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №150358
 26.05.2018
What is the difference between Viper, Vegan and Alcoholic?
You know them for 10 minutes:
1st Weiper said steam is 14 times safer than smoke.
2nd A vegan has said he hasn’t eaten meat 28 times.
Three You still don’t know that an alcoholic is a buoy.

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