bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №20816
 27.09.2009
<divX> An accident on the line. Our experts are now fixing the malfunction.
<YAS> The third day of the day???!!!! to
<div> We have a very complex infrastructure.
<YAS> is so complex that you do not have a single person who understands anything about it?
<divX> is there. and two. One is currently undergoing forced treatment in a psychiatric hospital, the second is under investigation.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №20815
 27.09.2009
With KillMips

I graduated 22. I recently got a good job. I called my best friend about this. I decided to go to the club and celebrate. In the club she flooded and flooded everything.
I wake up in her apartment in the morning and say good morning. She’s a beautiful girl, but she’s still my friend. And now worse:
1)I must marry her, otherwise she will file for rape (her ancestors work in the judicial system, i.e. I will buy right away)
She didn’t wear a condom at night, so I’ll soon be a daddy.
She was in love with me from 10th grade. and long developed a plan for her "happy life with me"!
_________________________________________________________________________

Agree to the wedding and say in the ZAGS: "No!and "
As a result, you will not land, there is no wife, and there is no fact that you will become a father :D

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №20814
 27.09.2009
This is the situation: the father of a three-year-old boy agrees with someone on the phone for a meeting: "Yes, we'll see you there and then. I will have a silver coat, and in my hand a magazine "Fire", you will immediately recognize me". They talked and ran to the meeting. The child takes off the phone and imitates a phone conversation: “Ally, yes, let’s meet, I’ll be (look down) in blue socks, and in my hand a yellow cube, you’ll immediately recognize me.”

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №20813
 27.09.2009
The men!! Where to buy blue woven socks in orange strip???? Need it urgently!! to

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №20812
 27.09.2009
“Take your head”
The most unexpected wake-up for me was a friend’s call at 8:30 a.m. with a wild cry: “Polin, you know what the Chrysanthemums look like?”and "

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №20811
 27.09.2009
Biology for the Youngest

Sometimes, even with a noticeable print, there is literally no possibility to give a refutation. This was the opinion of the edition of the Leningrad newspaper "Change", which in 1973, publishing a story from the series "To the Boys about the Beasts", made a small mistake. We were talking about the locals, whom the author pleasantly called “little long-eared animals”. In the word "long-eared" the letters "u" and "x" were replaced in places, and in this form these biological facts were presented to the Leningrad childhood.

The editor followed the party line.

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №20810
 27.09.2009
Answer to:
Dear readers of BORA, except for your help to hope for no one else!
Very needed help in identifying a book from the genre of fantasy. There is a spacecraft on which unknown owners have collected biological material from many planets for many years (genes, tissue samples, etc.). This ship falls into the hands of a man, who finds it used in solving problems with the inhabitants of different planets by cloning and creating new species of organisms. For example, to solve the problem of communication 2 races on the same planet were raised cats-telepats.
I remember there were several books and they were very interesting. Google could not help, so this is the last hope.
and----
This is "The Adventures of Tafa" by George Martin

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №20809
 27.09.2009
At first, the beer seemed diluted.
xxx: but I realized I was wrong about him
When I put two tablespoons of sugar in the ashes

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №20808
 27.09.2009
In response to:

The Gentlemen! Why scream at girls when they don’t understand something? How do you not understand? They are made of ribs, where Moses is from!? to

That is, in the clay, you think, there will be more brains? Read the original before you feel ashamed.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №20807
 27.09.2009
XXX is
And I got a sms "mama, urgently call me back to the number...and throw the money there"I look at ---Sacha in the bed is sleeping (half-year-old), and I have no children.

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №20806
 27.09.2009
Sisadmin1: -Oh, really need a shamanic drum - the server will die.
Sysadmin 2: No, real drums are made of wood and deer leather.
I’ll go to the accounting office then I’ll go. There are trees and ally. and (

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №20805
 27.09.2009
X: Are you gay?
Y is no.
X: Is it so?
A: Something is not going on...

[ + 94 - ] Comment quote №20804
 27.09.2009
He: You were thicker before.
She said, “But you were not thicker before, and you were very fat!” Learn to compliment!

[ + 84 - ] Comment quote №20803
 27.09.2009
I bought a licensed disc with the game. For a bunch of money, all affairs... And still forgot, fuck, and scream... Against the habit you will not crack=)

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №20802
 27.09.2009
Have you already started hiding with two blankets?

[ + 62 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №20801
 27.09.2009
Ura is now the new Nesvik enriched with uranium and palladium.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №20800
 27.09.2009
The fools complain that there are fools around them; the wise take advantage of the environment.
A girl without complexes

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №20799
 27.09.2009
A brick in the elevator.

This story was told to me by a familiar electromechanic from the Lift Service.
They went somehow with a partner to service the elevators.
They enter the cabin and see: in the corner of the cabin lies a new silicate (white who did not understand) brick.
They think little. Someone may have done repairs. has lost.
But disorder as if. Shortly cleaned out.
After a while, the PPR again on the same elevator.
And as you’ve guessed, brick, it’s a newborn white.
Well, there are frostbite: they will roll a bunch, they will soak, well, the button will be burned, or the walls will be painted. Everything happened, but to the brick...
Well, with small matjugs cleaned in the machine room, so that at least this was not used.
The third time, and the fourth time, it repeated itself. The brick appeared in the same place always new, and a stack of bricks began to grow in the machine room.
Finally, the nerves of the partner did not stand, and once again, he exploded in a stunning nine-story (the case was just in the nine-story) battle, which continued when leaving the last floor.
The grandmother came out and asked. What a matter. When she found out what was happening, she smiled and explained everything to them. Then the mechanics crushed a little, put the brick in place.
In some elevators, two underground weight limiters are installed. The first works when the weight exceeds 200 kg, the second when the weight is less than 15-20 kg. In both cases, the elevator does not go by commands from the cabin.
And on the eighth floor lives a girl, well very thin, well she does not reach those very 15-20 kg. And a kind dad puts a brick so that the child can make independent trips.
So dear citizens, if you see a brick in the elevator, do not rush to throw it away. Surely there is a very thin girl or boy living in the entrance and they really want to travel on their own.

Gog

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №20798
 27.09.2009
Tell me how your wife went crazy.
We traveled in the mountains, where there is a beautiful echo. My wife is used to
The last word was always behind her.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №20797
 27.09.2009
Find a Ginny Aitishnik. One wish would be enough. One word. There is one symbol: *

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