bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №90380
 29.11.2013
Everyone to note.
Once my mom explained to me as a little girl why the gifts that Santa Claus brings lie on the sandwiches until his hour X.
And now I, in turn, tell her son in her words that Grandpa can't have time to get around all the apartments and houses, so he transferred this care to his parents, and he goes only to those who don't have anyone and gives them not quite tangible gifts.

PS: It’s a pity that now I know: those, other children want to find material gifts hidden by moms and dads, but that’s a different matter.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №90379
 29.11.2013
In the supermarket, I pay at the box for a fucking bunch of products. My husband went away a little... money is a little missing. I ask my husband to add – zero attention. I repeat the request - silent as fish on ice. Psychanula, like a joke: - Fuck, give me money! Are you a deaf? I pull him by the sleeve. And he’ll jump away from me and say, “Take this foolish woman away from me, I see her for the first time in my life!” The Pipet! I do not go to this shop anymore.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №90378
 29.11.2013
The professor, pointing out and correcting the mistake of the student (a African-American) added - "Eh, darkness...!"

In college, he met his love. She was of heavenly beauty and black as resin. From one of the African countries, but apparently lived in a family where the Russian language was loved. At least she spoke pretty much. She was not only beautiful, but also smart. So, she called me ‘my light’ and I sometimes overwhelmed her ‘my darkness’: ‘Sorry, she couldn’t stay, and I couldn’t leave.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №90377
 29.11.2013
Not so long ago, a friend in Vladivostok was awakened by a night call from Moscow.
"We mistakenly sent you a package addressed to your branch in Novosibirsk".
And what do you want from me at three o’clock at night?
- Oh, sorry... I forgot about the time difference... In general, you could not pass the package with the courier, well, or let your driver take you, there is an urgent..
Where will I go, forgive me?
Go to Novosibirsk. You are near there.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №90376
 29.11.2013
Clov "Blog" is not in the Russian language. This is a letter of hopelessness. No one had to think.
Barvinok: Which word of the Russian language most closely and appropriately conveys this concept?
The Doctor: Ha! This is "square"
Anpu: The blog is breast. Accordingly, the blogger is a breast...
DNAA: "On the scroll the berstones berstones fleeing escaped, writing their word of berstones originally spoiled, acki tatarva, but the German was cut off so that with that berstones now and in the needle not go down." (star.) Bloggers in commentary.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90375
 29.11.2013
to this:
— — — —
It is epic!
The professor, pointing out and correcting the mistake of the student (a African-American) added - "Eh, darkness...!"
— — — —
It is absurd in Russia to call blacks African Americans. I doubt that a guy from Harlem came to us to study.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №90374
 29.11.2013
From the article "Five unexpected skills that instilled computers"

Among Google’s many projects that will one day lead to the sunset of civilization, it’s worth noting a learning neural network.
Google's supercomputer has been freely connected to the internet and allowed to study everything that a silicon soul wants. There were no restrictions or labels in the surfing instructions. Endowed with the ability to study quantum physics and all aspects of human history, the supercomputer went to watch photos of cats.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №90373
 29.11.2013
xxx: to be honest, when people 1995r. I post photos of my own weddings and I’m scared.
WOW: They too!

[ + 22 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90372
 29.11.2013
I am flying from Saigon 29.11.13. Flight at 11:45... In the hotel hoang hal long in room 603 on the ceiling of the suspended ceiling in the bathroom near the outlet, the fifth of the local дури. Hello and good to you, people!

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №90371
 29.11.2013
From the RR article:

And in Moscow now there is such an attraction: you pay angry money, and you are buried right in the grave for half an hour. He lay down, thought of the eternal, excavated — and no depression, like a new one.

And the grave with the connection?

Why Why?

“Well, you buried a fool, and then you called him under the ground and negotiated – what will we dig.

[ + 44 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90370
 29.11.2013
I’ve been fired from Apple, but I’m going to reveal the secret to them. All of them!! iPhone can be charged in the microwave - 300 watts for 2 minutes 08 seconds

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №90369
 29.11.2013
Our timlid once asked my colleague, “What did you do usefully today?” And his answer began with the words "I broke.."

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №90368
 29.11.2013
The Jumping Instructor:

Then I lubricated the cable with mayonnaise.
So now I think... What other cooking outfits to apply in the assembly business"

You are a fool, not a designer. After the oil, neither the hands nor the conductor are washed, and the mayonnaise that has vanished smells hellish. Installers use for this feather or any liquid soap - it glides perfectly and is often washed with water.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №90367
 29.11.2013
In India, a piton ate dinner with a drunk Hindu... An interesting idea for an anti-alcohol company.

[ + 13 - ] Comment quote №90366
 29.11.2013
Come, I will feed you with borsches.
Tea with delicious drinks.
You will get better.)
I am not good at tea and borscht.
2: at least from non-alcoholic tea and non-alcoholic borst

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №90365
 29.11.2013
The "Hunger Games And the mangal will burst out!"

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №90364
 29.11.2013
Last year, 146 girls in the U.S. were given the name Khalisi at birth.
I represent. through a generation. by Vizeris Ajerisovich Popkin.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №90363
 29.11.2013
My friend taught me my jeans "correct" to wear... on the bones of the thighs. I was by habit closer to the umbilical belt to stretch the norm, because by his method of seating the ass opens. =) Killed me his comment: "Wow, do you feel uncomfortable? So you dressed it right!"

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №90362
 29.11.2013
XXX: "My name is Olga, I represent the popular internet resource YYY, whose audience is men and women. Are you interested in this?"

I could not resist and replied to her:
At this stage of development, we are interested in animals. Are there members of this social group among your visitors?

[ + 40 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №90361
 29.11.2013
Lav: Mom and grandmother gathered at the cemetery, get there, look.
The girl in the taxi, when she heard the phrase, "Can we take two people to the car at the cemetery?" was frightened and threw the phone.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna