bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №57128
 03.12.2011
I went to the gynecologist and wrote how to get there. I read :
"Polyclinic No 7 Go down to the basement (here I was alerted), go into the acting hall (yeah?Go for the curtain to the oculist (Oh!?) Ask the gynecologist!and"

[ + 67 - ] Comment quote №57127
 03.12.2011
She says, “Jure by the cat.”
In our family, it is customary to swear by the Cat Myth, because cats have nine lives.
But you have to be careful already, because Mithya seems to be going down soon.

[ + 68 - ] Comment quote №57126
 03.12.2011
From the discussion "The Resident of Evil"
xxx: Manda, 4 part is quite a fantasy some... soon zombies will fly and teleport...

Yyy:))) That is, the walking zombies fit into your worldview...

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №57125
 03.12.2011
radun1: recommend the firmware 2.3
Big HorgyTM: I recommend the firmware 2.3

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №57124
 03.12.2011
Everything gets to those who don't need it at all) the highest ratings - the photos of cats!

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №57123
 03.12.2011
So what is the difference between twins and twins?
Well, twins are those who are exactly the same, and twins are not even very similar.
222: And so I call it simply identical and double-eyed twins.
111:Well, you will talk, for example, with very similar to each other tough guys and ask them, 'Say, you are identical or dual...?', and 'twins' you may not have time to say.

[ + 76 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №57122
 03.12.2011
Customer purchased in Ikea for 650 thousand r. I went to the box. paid for everything. The girl to him standard: "Thank you for the purchase". He said, “And that’s all! Yes, for such grandmothers you have to suck me all!" What the girl replied with a smile: "We have a self-service store!"

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №57121
 03.12.2011
Computer pirates will be hanging on the Blu-ray

[ + 51 - ] Comment quote №57120
 03.12.2011
I drove my 6-year-old son last year to the Kremlin (the ticket was for a child without parents). At the appropriate time, the parents who gathered to meet their children are announced: the Patriarch has arrived, will congratulate, say, meet in half an hour. I met: so thoughtful, so serious. "Well how" – I ask. Answer: "The show was very interesting. I didn’t understand one thing: why did Santa change his clothes at the end... the big cross grabbed... "

[ + 72 - ] Comment quote №57119
 03.12.2011
The Euro 2012 draw was held.
Three real "groups of death"
And the fourth group: Poland, Czech Republic, Russia, Greece.
God asks from heaven: “Russians, what else do you need, eh????” I did what I could!"
And the Russians are so relaxed, smoking calyan: “No... we don’t know... maybe let everyone get sick?”

[ + 63 - ] Comment quote №57118
 03.12.2011
First course, lectures in higher mathematics. The student enters, asks the senior of such a group to the dean. He stands up, moves a little, uncertainly moves toward the exit. The Prep:
"What are you afraid of? Well, it is not scary. I stood in the subway, waiting for the train. Here I feel someone’s gaze on my side, I turn around – there a guy looks at me and smiles at all 32 and asks:
Hi, do you remember me?
No, I am saying.
Three years ago I was removed from the universe.
The brain thinks where to run, and the legs decide to be cotton and refuse to cooperate. And here, you know, I am already through the farewell to the world suddenly hear that he, it turns out, his parents forced him to go to the technician, and he always wanted to go to the artist. And you are afraid of the dean here..."

[ + 66 - ] Comment quote №57117
 03.12.2011
When did you get married?
The year was unsuccessful...

[ + 83 - ] Comment quote №57116
 03.12.2011
xxx: I want to do a cunnilingus for two or three...women!! to
Are you a snake?

[ + 84 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №57115
 03.12.2011
Bremborg: The fuck has worked out. I am approaching the homephone I am calling 192.168.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №57114
 03.12.2011
Metallicon
Fuck, Enchanted Series

Metallicon
It begins with the fuck of the magic, continues the romantic hernia of three bodies with the under-debit, in the break-up they fuck the demon in three, and ends in a romantic-lyric hernia with some of the sisters in the main role.

Metallicon
Every series is

[ + 69 - ] Comment quote №57113
 03.12.2011
News on the Rambler: "In Finland, you can pay for rental housing with sex"
The comments:
I also have one like that! My wife is called!

Where did you go?
I will pay for the apartment.

I rent an apartment in Finland with a beautiful girl up to 25 years old...I guarantee a triple payment.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №57112
 03.12.2011
On March 4, 2012, the film “Putin and the Miniput” premiered in Russia.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №57111
 03.12.2011
In the 1960s, when substantial benefits were introduced for war participants, my father was the chairman of a war veteran council at a large metallurgical plant.

One day, my father and I in the garage repaired our hollow "Zaporozhitz".
I, a teenager, was digging in the engine, and my father with the garage men, as it often happened, sat in the neighboring box and drank. It must be said that the people in the garage cooperative were the most diverse in nationality and social affiliation. There was a German Peter.
Fridrichovich, who was captured in Stalingrad, was in a prison camp in our city, and after his liberation, he had a family here and "brought up". He worked as a small boss in a taxi park (where he was long ago renamed Petro Fedorovich).
The men in the garages liked to scratch their tongues, scratch each other, and they were able to do this smartly and funly - at such sessions often outbreaks, explosions of laughter were heard. But at that time the blast was so powerful that in the evening I remembered and asked my father what was so fun there. My father said:
The men began to ask me how to get the benefits of a war participant.
I explained that I should write a statement to the council of war veterans and
To get a certificate... And then Peter thoughtfully whispered: “What, Petrovich,
Can I write a statement?”

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №57110
 03.12.2011
I was sent from GAI a photo from a camera that detected how I was exceeding speed. I sent them a video of how I paid the fine to Haishnikov in cash.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №57109
 03.12.2011
After the fierce success of the song "Sanya will stay with us" Belarusian group RockerJoker begins touring Russia with a new hit "Vova did not go anywhere"!!! to

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